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New lost my son at 32 wks 3 days ago


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
February 10th, 2012, 07:06 PM
Momma to 2 and one angel
Join Date: May 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 692
Hello my name is Melissa I lost my angel son 3 days ago his name is Ryder Lee. I was hopeing to find a place where I could tell his story and of his birth. I know the ladies that were in my DDC would let me tell his story but I rather wait to share it with them until after they have all of their babies born happy and heathy into their loving arms so Ryder's dosnt scare them ot add any worry to this wonderful time. I guess in a way I just want to tell his story somewhere and I figured this would be the best place to do it.

Would it be ok if I told his story here?

Thank you
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  #2  
February 10th, 2012, 09:25 PM
noworries
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Absolutely. We would love to hear all about your son. Feel free to share his story and if you are comfortable, pictures of him. I know for me that talking about my son was very much a part of my healing process.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your son.
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  #3  
February 11th, 2012, 06:34 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
You can absolutely share Ryder's story here. I also feel that talking about Eva and Declan was an important step in the healing process, especially when I didn't feel I had to censor anything to protect the feelings of other people. I do want to say again how sorry I am for your loss.
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  #4  
February 11th, 2012, 11:59 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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Im so sorry to have to welcome you here its with open arms thou hunny, im also very sorry for the loss of your precious son. it will be a honor to share the birth of Ryder you are more than welcome to share his story x im claire co host of this board x
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  #5  
February 11th, 2012, 02:06 PM
liz bevan's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Edmonton, AB
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I am so sorry for your loss.
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  #6  
February 11th, 2012, 03:20 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
I am so very sorry for your loss. Please feel free to share however much or little you want to here... we've all been there. And I know for me writing about it, talking about it, really helped me grieve and, eventually, heal.
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  #7  
February 11th, 2012, 04:14 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SW FL
Posts: 8,785
Oh hun, I am in your DDC and I totally understand. When DS died, I did not want to tell them about him, but I did it pretty quickly because it was at the end of the month we were all due and mostly everybody had their babies. I really would love to hear your story and I would be no more scared than I already am having a stillbirth myself. I am so sorry for your loss.
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Rest In Peace Jennifer <3



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  #8  
February 11th, 2012, 04:42 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
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I'm so sorry that you have to come here. I agree with the other ladies, you are more than welcome to share here, however much you need to. Sharing Cora really helped and still helps me.

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  #9  
February 12th, 2012, 06:53 AM
Momma to 2 and one angel
Join Date: May 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 692
Thank you ladies I just feel I have to talk about it. this week has been the hardest week of my life a week ago today I was so excited I was finally able to start getting ready for Ryder and I just started buying all he was going to need. I never thought once I would go from that to hearing he was gone to having to be forced into labor to then having to say goodbye to the little man that would alwyas kicked at my pants band or laptop if it was close to my belly. Now the belly is gone and my chest is full of milk he will never get to drink and its a very painful reminder. I find it hard trying to stay strong for my two amazing older sons but I find it hard like its a constant fight.

I will post his story later today since we are going to try and have my oldest son's birthday party today which is going to be hard but we need to do this for my older son so we are gonna just try to grin and bare it.

Thank you for having a place where I can come and talk about this.
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  #10  
February 12th, 2012, 09:23 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
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For the milk...get yourself a serious decongestant. Like, one of those "severe head cold" ones. It'll dry out your milk ducts. I didn't find that out until I was pregnant with my 2nd, and I really wish I had known that when my milk came in after Cora. I tried everything and nothing really worked, and I could still express a little milk if I tried a month later.

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  #11  
February 12th, 2012, 11:12 AM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: SW FL
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I know what you mean about grin and bear. Halloween was 12 days after I had DS and I didn't want to ruin it for everybody. I could barely move still from my c.s and friends came over to be supportive. I am so sorry you are feeling this pain and joining our club. It sucks. You will never ever forget him, but time will make it easier.

Yeah, I remember reading your post about getting the go ahead to buy stuff and then your sweet boy passed away. I was so heart broken for you and still am. *hugs*
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  #12  
February 12th, 2012, 11:20 AM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
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The milk coming in and the lack of a belly were the two hardest physical things for me. Especially the milk.... I really wanted to breastfeed and then my milk came in hard, I had huge engorgement and it was so so painful and kept me from sleeping (which I could barely do anyways).

I too was very caught off-guard by my losing Devin... one day he was alive and well and a month left to go, the next he was gone. It took a very long time to stop feeling like I just got run over by a freight truck.
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  #13  
February 13th, 2012, 09:15 AM
noworries
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The milk coming in was one of the hardest things for me...just a huge reminder that I didn't have a baby to feed. Wearing a tight sports bra will help. Or, if you wanted, you can pump and donate the milk to moms in need.
My heart goes out to you. You have a rough road ahead of you but we are all hear to help you through it.
I hope your older son had a wonderful birthday party.
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  #14  
February 13th, 2012, 05:22 PM
Momma to 2 and one angel
Join Date: May 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 692
My son did have a great party he had a great time I think. If i felt over welmed I just went outside to break down that way he didnt see momma get upset.

I have been useing cabbage leaves they seem to help some but its strange to stick cabbage into my bra. I tried to bind myself but it hurts my back to much so I am trying the tight sports bra and the cabbage untill I get and try the cold meds.
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  #15  
February 15th, 2012, 09:14 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,760
I had some pills prescribed by my dr. to stop the milk. I don't remember what they were called, but they were very effective as I didn't have any milk (but I started taking them right after the birth).
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  #16  
February 16th, 2012, 09:10 AM
white.house's Avatar Kelli
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Southeastern, USA
Posts: 11,344
I am so sorry. I lost my Finley 4 months ago at 33 weeks. Please, please share your story! Share HIS story! He is important and he was here, he still is! He should be talked about, no matter what, even if it scares people Writing was my biggest outlet (and still is) when Finley left us. Big HUGE hugs to you mama!

For my milk I took vit B6, benadryl around the clock, ace bandaged my breasts, and used cold cabbage leaves. It helped tons. I hope it dries up for you soon, such a painful reminder! We are here for you! You are not alone!
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