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Ryder Lee's Story/long


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
February 13th, 2012, 05:13 PM
Momma to 2 and one angel
Join Date: May 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 692
Sorry its a it long and I hope it makes sense.

Ryder was a surprise we were not trying to have a baby at this time but once we found out me and my husband were both very excited and so were both my boys. We were looking forward to this new adventure in our lives.
The morning we found out about Ryderís passing was any normal Monday morning I got the kids on the bus and my husband and I got into the car to go to my normal prenatal appointment and to get my 17p shot. The day before Ryder was moving like normal even my mother in law and I were laughing at my belly jumping after I ate lunch. At the doctors when he tried to find my little manís heartbeat he just couldnít find it and he tried for over 10 minutes looking everywhere and it just wasnít there. So he decided that we needed to do an ultrasound so as soon as the woman who was doing the u/s she took the wand off my stomach and said there is no heartbeat and went out to get the doctor. The doctor confirmed there was no heartbeat and there was also no fluid around his little body. I broke down and so did dh even the doctor was in tears. We were all in shock I was at 32 weeks so close but he was gone my little man has passed away sometime between Sunday night and Monday morning. They called and set up an induction for the next morning at 6:30am.
The next morning we went to the hospital and around 8 am the doctor came in and put some sort of creamy looking stuff on my cervix to start to soften it and hopefully maybe start to dilate it because I was high and completely closed. About 10 minutes after the stuff of inserted I started feeling the contractions. They started coming regularly and were getting painful. I all of a sudden spiked a fever so they gave me Tylenol and Xanax to calm my nerves because through this whole process I was very emotional. That didnít go well I got sick and threw up everywhere first time I have ever puked during labor. My mom and sister got there around 10am and we had the preacher that married us there and my husbandís parents there we all prayed for Ryder. After that the contractions were getting really strong and really painful I couldnít take it anymore I asked if I could get the epi I have never had pain medication in my other births but this is one that I didnít want to feel. So the nurse checked me at 11:30 am and I was still closed but starting to open a little but not enough for the doctor to think I needed the epi because they thought I would labor for anywhere form 1-3 days. So the doc said to wait till 12:30pm and he would come in and check me and we would talk about getting the epi. But they were gonna give me something in the IV to help with the pain I think the nurse thought I was playing up the pain for some reason but I never play up pain if anything I will work through it and act like im not hurting. Around 12pm I started getting really hot and trying to rip my clothes off and with each contraction I would bear down just a little and I knew it was time. I stood up and leaned on the bed and when the nurse walked in I told her Im either gonna poop (I used another word) or the baby is coming and she didnít believe me but said letís check you. Sure enough I was right I think she was in shock because they havenít even started the Pitocin yet and this was all on the lowest dose of whatever the creamy stuff was. The nurse called the doc and told me wait to push but that was out of the question because I didnít need to push he was coming out on his own. She finally told me to start pushing and the hardest pushes were the head he was born breech, with the sac intact, and the placenta all at the same time. He was born on February, 7th, 2012 at 12:06 pm. They knew the lack of fluid around my son wasnít from my water leaking because his sac was intact and she had a hard time cutting into it to get him out. His cord was not wrapped around his neck or around his small tiny body either. He did however have a huge clot right at his belly button in his cord. But they think that could have been from him passing while inside me. The doctor thinks it make have been kidney failure and I guess that would explain the lack of fluid. They were surprised that I didnít tear at all and there was no repair needed.
We got to hold him right after he was born for a couple hours were I took some pictures and my mom and sister held him then we called my husbandís parents back and they got to spend time with him. Then we let the nurse take him to clean him up and get his stats.
Ryder Lee was born weighing 2 lbs. 2.8 ounces, 14 inches long. He had blonde hair that appeared to be curly or it was going to be curly.
We chose to have an autotopsie done to see what may have caused this so after me and my husband took an hour to say our final goodbyes and a few more pictures after he was cleaned up we handed him over. It was so hard but we both knew it had to be done.
We chose to have him cremated because the thought of putting my son in a box and sticking him into the ground just tore me up. His funeral was nice and at the end everyone said goodbye to him by singing ďyou are my sunshineĒ to him
He is my son and I miss and love him very much I donít know if the tears or this sadness will ever go away. I try and be strong for my older kids but I break down often.
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  #2  
February 13th, 2012, 06:10 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
Thank you for sharing Ryder's story with us. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy. My daughter was born at 28 weeks because there was no amniotic fluid left. I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and I hope you are able to find some peace. ((hugs))
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  #3  
February 13th, 2012, 08:33 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SW FL
Posts: 8,785
Thank you for sharing his story. Wow. I am so sorry you had to go thru this. May your son RIP.
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  #4  
February 13th, 2012, 09:39 PM
bettyearl's Avatar Beth, mom to 4 boys
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,890
My prayers are with you at this difficult time. I am glad you were able to share your story. It strengthens you and others at the same time. You are strong, you are loved and you will make it. He will always be your son.
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  #5  
February 14th, 2012, 08:05 AM
noworries
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Thank you for sharing Ryder's story with us.
My son Eli was stillborn at 26 weeks and I hadn't had any pain meds with my daughter (or with my next son, born after Eli) but I too almost got an epi with Eli and had to have some IV pain meds. His birth was by far the most painful and I think it was because of the emotional pain.
I'm so glad your mom and sister and your in-laws got to hold him and that you spent time holding him and got pictures with him.
We also chose cremation and we have his ashes on our mantle. Mits hard sometimes when I look up and see his urn but for me it's also somewhat comforting that he's under the same roof as the rest of the family (his body anyway).
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  #6  
February 14th, 2012, 12:06 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,585
Thank you for sharing Ryder's story. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you can find some moments of peace during this difficult time.
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DD Brooklynn 8-4-01
DD Libby 6-18-04
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DS Carter born still 3-2-11 (20 weeks)
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  #7  
February 15th, 2012, 10:14 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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Thank you for sharing ryders story , again im so sorry for your loss (())
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  #8  
February 15th, 2012, 09:00 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,760
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope this board will help ease your pain somehow like it did for me.
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  #9  
February 16th, 2012, 09:14 AM
white.house's Avatar Kelli
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Southeastern, USA
Posts: 11,344
Thank you for sharing his story. I'm so sorry for your loss! He is your precious son and always will be
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  #10  
May 25th, 2012, 09:21 AM
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Kissimmee, Fl
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I am very sorry for you loss. Thank you for sharing this difficult story.

Melissa
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  #11  
July 7th, 2012, 07:47 PM
liza17's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: mn
Posts: 98
Im sorry for your loss. I lost my baby Anthony at 37wks do to cord being wrapped around his neck too tight. My contractions started at home for about 2 hrs then I went to the hospital and found out he didnt have a heartbeat anymore.. I delivered him 3 hrs later..He was 11 lb 2oz. Doc said he has been gone for over 24hrs already. This was 1-15-2011. And 6 months later I got pregnant with baby Max who was born 3-12-2012. It helps to have another baby after a loss but it is still hard to drive anywhere without thinking about my son that passed away 1.5years ago. All I know is that it takes time to heal.. And everytime anyone mentions a loss it brings back sad memories..Staying busy and communicating with people helps me....
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