[Banned-SerenitysMom]

My name is Stephanie I am 24 year's old. And my husband is Rodney he is 26 year's old.

I am happily married to my second husband, been married and divorced once .



This all happened in 2008-2009

I found out I was pregnant with twin's at my six week ultrasound, I was really thrilled. I just knew it was twins because I was looking like I was five months pregnant when I was only four weeks pregnant.

I was looking at the ultrasound screen and saw only one sac and one fetal pole, the ultrasound technician moved the trans-vaginal probe and there was two little sac's and two little fetal poles, the technician looked at me and said "How does twins sound"? I said to the technician "I knew it was twins, I look huge".

Everything went great through the whole pregnancy. At my thirty first week into my pregnancy all hell broke loose, I went into pre-term labor and had to be admitted to labor and delivery, I was dilated to one centimeter and had to be put on a magnesium sulfate drip. When the nurse lowered my dosage I went back into full contractions and ended up dilating to two centimeters. I ended up having to be left on a high dosage of magnesium sulfate for 24 hours. After 24 hours of the magnesium sulfate drip I was took off of it.

Everything was going well in the hospital I was on a contraction monitor the whole stay and a non stress test every four hours. I had a ultrasound done at thirty two weeks into my pregnancy in the labor and delivery and both babies looked great, heartbeat was wonderful, they where weighing wonderfully. The scan showed that my daughter which was baby B had placental aging, the technician who did the scan thought she would be brought into the world early due to this.

Unfortunately, no one did anything about this, nor did the doctors put my twins on a fetal heartbeat monitor except the every four hours, I was just left on the contraction monitor.

On April 16th 2009 at 32 weeks the nurses couldn't find two heartbeats during the non stress test in the morning, they failed to do an ultrasound at that time they thought just one was hiding behind the other. Later, when the nurse change occurred it was time for another non stress test in which the nurses couldn't find the second heartbeat of the other twin. So, they talked to the doctor and the doctor ordered an ultrasound right away.

The nurses came into the room there was about four nurses and a ultrasound technician who followed with the ultrasound machine. I was looking at the ultrasound screen looking at my twins when I noticed the nurse squeezing my hand, I looked at her and smiled than I looked back at the ultrasound screen and realized that there was no color to the placenta. The nurse kept squeezing my hand the whole time she asked "Are you okay"? I replied "Is there a heartbeat"? She responded "No sweetheart, I am sorry". We all thought that I was going to be induced that night to keep anything from hurting my son baby A who had his cord wrapped around neck three times.


Unfortunately, the periniocoligist wouldn't do this said that the longer the baby is in the better, and only 1% chance the same thing would happen to him.

On April 17th I had an ultrasound early in the morning to check on my son, I was so used to seeing both of them on the screen but the technician only showed my son. He was doing great and all the periniocoligist said to me is "See he is okay"!

I took a nap around one pm and I was woken up to sweetheart I need you to roll over by the nurse, and the nurse looking at the heartbeat screen at this point and time I was on the monitor 24/7. My son heart decelerated.

I said go tell the doctor to take him out now! So, the doctor gets called and told what happened. The nurse comes back in and says we will induce you.

So, I get my Epidural and my waters broken and waited on the contractions to start, after two hours my contractions where not coming as fast as they wanted at two am on April 18th 2009 they started me on pertocine to jump start labor faster.

I was dilated at sever centiliters when my son started to crown so I started pushing at 4:50 AM and welcomed my son into the world at 5:00 Am. I stopped contracting after he was born so the doctor had to put her arm all the way up to elbow inside my uterus to get my daughter to turn somehow so the doctor could either grab my daughters feet to bring her out, or get it to where her head would go down. Finally, after 24 minutes of the doctors arm elbow deep I welcomed my daughter into the world . I was able to see my son for a minute before they took him back into the NICU, I was able to hold my daughter whenever I wanted, give her a bath, put clothes on her. This by far was the worse thing ever in my life. I couldn't see her eyes, hear her cries. I felt dead and empty. I was able to visit my son but not hold him since he was put on CPAP. He was able to go home after a week or two. But, I had to put my daughter in the ground
.

There is never a second of the day that goes by that I never stop thinking of her and what she would have looked like today. How would her eyes look and her hair how long would it be. Never gets easier every year it gets worse around the time of the birth of her.

Here are pictures:












In my signature you can find our blog page with more information about this story and everything else about me etc.

[Banned-SerenitysMom]

No one should have to endure the pain of loosing a child no matter how far or early in pregnancy you are, or how old the child is. I wish the best for those who have lost a child and pregnancy it is never easy and it never gets better. Though, there are its good days than there is them bad days.

[~Laurie~]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. My name is Laurie, and my daughter Evangeline was born still in 2008, and my son Declan was born still in 2009. It breaks my heart every time I hear another mommy is without her baby. This board has helped me so much, and I hope we can offer help and support to you, as well.

[Banned-SerenitysMom]

Thank you for kind words means a lot. Sorry to hear about your losses and that they where back to back. I just wish there was no such things.

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter Serenity. Thank you for sharing her with us.
I'm Carrie, my son, Eli, was stillborn in August 2009.

[helen123]

I am very sorry to welcome you here. My name is Helen, and my son, Eric was stillborn in July of 2009 at 38 weeks. Thanks for sharing your story and pictures. Your daughter is beautiful.

[claire1979]

Hi Stephanie, my name is Claire im so sorry to have to welcome you here. Im co host to this board and is so sad to have to welcome new members.

Im sorry for the loss of your precious daughter, I lost a daughter also, Jessica in june 2005 she was born sleeping as a result of her cord being round her neck 3 times.

Please stay the support here is fab the ladies here are wonderful. (())

[SarieP]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost my daughter who was a twin. I went into pre-term labor at 25 weeks due to Raegan's plancenta abrupting. She survived almost a day but couldn't make it. Our son Liam is now 15 months old and during great but not a day goes by that I don't think of her and what she would be like.

[liz bevan]

Hi Stephanie,

I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our son during labor in 2008.
Your in my thoughts.

[Banned-SerenitysMom]

Has anyone had a dream about there angel baby, or angel babies that where born sleeping?

I wanted to share one. I have very realistic dreams doctors say its a rare occurrence but when you dream you can feel things and its in color and can hear as well, like if someone was talking to you in your dream. Of coarse when you wake up some things can mess up your whole day. I haven't talked about it before.

But, I had a dream I was on this beautiful green grassy hill, surrounded by green grace beautiful sun rays with enough of a breeze just to lightly move you hair and tickle your face.

I saw a barn wooden and grayish brown in color as well as a white house like a little two story house with a swing on porch and white fence around it. I saw this little girl with brown hair and such creamy skin and blue/green eyes. We laughed and held each others hands and ran around the farm (Had no animals, or non I paid attention to). But, I feel as if it was my daughter Serenity she looked to be 3 in the dreams which is how old she is now.

I was wondering if anyone had dreams like this before?

[Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy]

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter - I can't imagine losing one twin


((HUGS))

[Caydens_mommy]

I also lost a son Cayden Zayne he was stillborn due to cord accident I was right at 38 weeks he was breach and he turned in position to be born and when he did it kinked his cord and it cut the blood supply off. Jan 7, 2012 heaven got a new beautiful angel. I miss him so much he was my first child its so hard to go home to a empty nursery and to have to go straight to the funeral home from the hospital to plan your childs funeral I have never realized how often this happened until I lost my own my prayers are with each and every one of you

[Banned-SerenitysMom]

Can't believe in a few more months I will be going through my fourth angelvercery of my sweet baby. I feel like its getting harder each year.

[Banned-SerenitysMom]

Found the nurse who was there for the delivery and took the photos. And, even found more photos that I didn't have on my Disk she mailed me.

Today I have been thinking of my daughter a lot. I also made a special thank you to the nurse the did an amazing job with everything.