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Days harder than others


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
February 7th, 2014, 03:35 PM
seekingrainbow's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Rome, NY
Posts: 877
Its weird I guess. I go days without crying and even sometimes smiling but then out of no where, an awful day hits you. I'm depressed, crying all day.. I'm a mess. I ended up deactivating my Facebook because babies and pregnant ladies were every where and I couldn't do it today.

I know I am still very new to this journey (five weeks today) but I feel like I am regressing instead of making baby steps in this new reality of life.
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and my little Jedi, Lucas Gary
Born Sleeping, 1.3.2014

Held close to my heart for 239 days

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  #2  
February 12th, 2014, 03:26 PM
momRT's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: California
Posts: 352
I'm right there with you. The weekends are easier because BD is home and he's been amazing. Nights are hard, but my doctor gave me a RX for ativan which has helped a lot. I haven't deactivated my facebook yet, but I have unfriended a couple of my coworkers who were due around my due date. The day I came home from the hospital one was complaining about how tired she was because she just had to register at three different stores for her baby shower, while my boyfriend and I were looking at urns trying to find the right one for Jackson. Another wouldn't shut up complaining about her pregnancy. I know they're not doing it to antagonize me, but I needed to unfriend them before I left a comment. I'm mad at my ddc, I have days where I want to call my ex's mom to come pick up my other kids because I don't want to get out of bed to take care of them, there are days where I just cry all day, and there are days where BD and I can talk about Jackson with no tears. I wasn't as far along as you were and I'm only two and a half weeks postpartum, but I still feel all over the place emotionally. No real progress yet, still just on a roller coaster.
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Born at 19 weeks and 2 days


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  #3  
February 17th, 2014, 05:01 PM
liz bevan's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Edmonton, AB
Posts: 998
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sorry ladies
There are going to be days like that.
Some days are awesome and hurt a little less
There are other days that feel like your little one just died. The loss of a child is very difficult and painful.

I know that I had to separate myself from ppl that were pregnant.
I felt like life was so unfair

As time moves forward the hurt lessens a bit. We lost our son in 2008 and I still have bad days. My dh is my rock and has helped me through the really rough patches.
Talking about our son every chance I got helped too.
Most ppl don't know what to say when I tell them our first born died, but I do it to honour his memory.

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Thank you so much for the awesome siggie Claire
Our joys will be greater
Our love will be deeper
Our lives will be fuller
Because we shared your moment
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  #4  
February 22nd, 2014, 07:23 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
I'm sorry, ladies. As Liz said, it gets better but it never goes away completely. I could not be around pregnant women until I had my rainbow, and even then I am sensitive to every complaint. I still feel sad that I never got to have a stress-free (or relatively so) pregnancy, or got to make it to the big and round stage of pregnancy (my rainbow was born at 29 weeks). I will always grieve that, too.
In the early days, you do what you can to get through. If that means you have days where you can't deal with life and need to hibernate, then that is what you do. The world will expect too much from you, and far too soon, but what you need is time. The time won't make the hurt or grief go away, and it won't make anything OK, but it will help you adjust, and it will give you time to learn how to cope.
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