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Hello, I'm a lurker here and I just want to say two things: I can't believe there was a point where you were not allowed, that bothers me almost as much as it bothers you, trust me. Secondly, I am a definitely no expert at siggy making but if any of you ladies would like me to make a siggy for one of your children who have passed, I would be glad to! I can't promise perfection but IMO, my siggies still look nice. =) Just PM me.
There are ladies in a forum saying how losses in signatures, albeit words or graphics can be offensive. We should take them into consideration on how it may affect them....
How do I explain it without causing a HUGE fight that sometimes it's harder to understand untl you go through it?????
Thanks in advance,
David: 09/29/92 9lbs 9 oz - 23 1/4" long - 14 cm head and shoulders (induced)
Crystal: 04/05/95 8 lbs 9 oz (induced)
Lauren: 03/31/98 9 lbs 8 oz - 14 cm head and shoulders (induced)
Addison: 10/12/08 7 lbs 10 oz - 20 3/4" long (induced)
Jacob: 2/94 @ 7 1/2 weeks
Sarah: 9/06 @ 13 weeks
John: 6/07 @ 15 weeks
You've hit the nail on the head...they won't understand until they've actually experienced it.
I'm sorry they are offended...actually, they're scared. We were too. Many still are.
It's so easy to assume that a pregnancy results in a bouncing baby in your arms....
We're proof to the contrary...proof that many people don't want to recognize.
Just like not saying anything after a loss because they don't know what to say...
As if "I'm sorry" never crossed their mind.
We angel mothers are just that...mothers whose children aren't with us.
Pictures are all we have...and unfortunately, many don't even have that.
So, while I understand their emotions regarding our children, they need to try to understand ours.
We will never have those precious birthday pictures, Halloween pictures, communion, first day of school...
The list goes on.
We have angel pictures. Period.
I thank God that I have that much!!!!
Thank you for your kindness and compassion regarding this issue.
If only those emotions were as easy to share!!!!
What goes through my head is that seeing sigs of live babies upsets *me*. I look at them every day. They know it upsets me - and others who have had losses - but it's understandable. I don't require them to not post pictures of their children. And, well, Devin is my child. It may cause other people to feel weird. But he's MY son just as much as someone else's child is theirs. Leaving him out of my sig would make me feel horrible... how could I not include him? I am a mother. I birthed him. He is my firstborn. And anyone who doesn't get that just isn't worthy of my time or consideration.
Also I would say, I know they don't understand if they haven't experienced it - and I hope they never DO experience it. I know they don't see it as a big deal. But it is a big deal. It's a HUGE deal. This grief is overwhelming, and awknowledging my son in my sig is one small way that makes me feel a little better. It's one small thing that makes me think maybe I will get through this. And they are asking us to put that aside for their discomfort?
I hope you will all continue to post pictures of your beautiful babies.
I understand that some people are uncomfortable with it. But, at least they have the option of looking away. For all of you, there is no option. You have experienced that tremendous loss, and nothing will ever change that.
I make an effort to visit boards like this from time to time, to read the stories of your children, and see their beautiful faces. I say a prayer for them, and for you, gain insight into what it's like to lose a child (I am a nursing student who is planning to eventually become a midwife, so it's something I am going to deal with firsthand at some point), and I add to the number of people who "knew" and remembers your child.
Bless all your little angels...too beautiful for earth.
"If women lose the right to say how and where they birth their children, then they will have lost something that's as dear to life as breathing." - Ami McKay, The Birth House