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how to help cope....


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
February 27th, 2007, 02:01 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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and now its blank!
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  #2  
February 27th, 2007, 03:12 PM
Mom2LinaNangels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
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Just listen to her. Don't tell her it happened for a reason and give all the reasons of why and whatnot. Tell her you are sorry and be there for her to talk to. Even talking about the baby will be good for her. It depends on how she feels about it, but I know I love talking about Jordyn. I am sorry for her loss and yours as well. Take care.
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  #3  
February 27th, 2007, 05:03 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
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After the news that our baby had died we were on prayer lists literally all over the world. I KNOW those prayers are the only reason I was able to labor and deliver as easily as I did. And yes, listening is the best thing to do and tell her how much you love her and you're hurting with her. I felt bad for all the people that felt the need to find reassuring words... there just are none.

I hope they will be able to have a funeral for their baby. That was very comforting for us.

I will pray for her and the family.
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  #4  
February 28th, 2007, 04:48 AM
anissa's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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With me there is no answer for this. The only thing that has helped is time. People did tons of things for me and that was nice and I was greatfull for that. But it did not really help me in any. Just time has helped. So just be there for her and listen if she wants to talk.
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  #5  
February 28th, 2007, 08:40 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Don't wait for her to ask. Go over and do her dishes. Fix her a meal.

My brother, SIL, neice, and younger sister dropped everything and drove 5 hours to spend one day with me. My apartment was spotless by the time they left. It seems so silly, but it was one less thing to think about at the time.

Let her know she's being prayed for.

And yes, let her talk when she's ready. I, too, love talking about my beautiful baby angel girl.




Also...try to remember on the month-marks if you can. My sister called me on the one month mark and asked how I was doing. And on the 2 and 3 month marks too. And just today, she said "It'll be 10 months on Friday, won't it?" It's nice to know someone remembers besides me.
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  #6  
March 7th, 2007, 11:01 PM
MyAngelHayden's Avatar Veteran
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Just be there for her. I think that is the best thing. To have somewhere there with you when you are going through such a hard time is great. I know that after I lost Hayden I couldn't be left alone. I have always had this fear of being alone but now it grew and I wouldn't even sleep in my own room alone. Tell her that you will be there for her when she needs you and don't rush her. People around me hurt me all the time when they tell me I should be moving on with my life and if there was just one person here telling me different, it would mean so much. I hope I helped a bit. Take Care.

Heather
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  #7  
March 14th, 2007, 04:06 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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This is all great advice. Just sitting with her, and don't stop talking about it in a few months, even years later, it will still be traumatic for her and she could be even more sad that noone brings up her baby or her pain and loss.

Make her favorite meal, do her laundry, call her just to check on her and don't forget about her.
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  #8  
March 16th, 2007, 11:31 PM
angelmcobb's Avatar Regular
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For me Talking and having people listen is what helped! I hate when noone mentions my son. He was and will always be a part of my life, My son! The pain for me has not gone away and its been months. Tell her how much you love her, offer to help her out with anything you can. Just be there for her and make sure you let her know how much her and her baby means to you.
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