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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
May 11th, 2007, 03:04 PM
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I find that I'm getting rather annoyed with pregnant people. Not that I pitty myself and wish I was them. I can't stand though how they all seem to be "soooo" done being pregnant and thats all they ever talk about. I would LOVE to still be pregnant. I enjoyed it so much m/s and all. GAH I just want to scream...and to top it all off work is bugging me about coming back to work and I tell them the same thing everyday about when I'm coming back. I don't get what part about I lost my child and it has just now barely been a month they don't understand....
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  #2  
May 11th, 2007, 04:20 PM
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I know what you mean Kimmie. I hear women say how they just want to have their baby already. I started to wonder why it upset me so much. I mean part of it because I loved every minute of pregnancy, m/s, numerous dr. appts, backaches, and all. I know that sounds crazy to most. But then I started thinking about it. I don't know what it is like to be 9 months along or how much I would have endured and I think a part of me is really just jealous that they get to experience it all and I don't. Or maybe it is just the jealous part of me that they will have a baby to bring home and I don't. Either way, I know what you mean, it is frustrating to hear sometimes, especially from the women that never wanted to be pregnant in the first place, or that got to have that perfect pregnancy, no worries, no fears and such.

I wonder how I will feel when I am 9 months along and will I be saying the same thing? I think when I get to a "safe" point, where the baby's lungs are fully developed I will want my baby to come out too because I will just want a healthy, living, breathing baby in my arms. KWIM?
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  #3  
May 12th, 2007, 07:22 AM
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UGHHH I know what you mean. I have a friend who is pregnant she is 10 weeks behind me when I was pregnant. She knows I was single cuz DH bailed on me. All she does is complain about her DH annoying her and the fact that she wants to party so bad. How can a person be so dumb to say that to someone who just lost her baby. LIke give me a break...
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  #4  
May 12th, 2007, 04:07 PM
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First off, I want to apologize if you ladies get annoyed with me.

Quote:
But then I started thinking about it. I don't know what it is like to be 9 months along or how much I would have endured and I think a part of me is really just jealous that they get to experience it all and I don't. Or maybe it is just the jealous part of me that they will have a baby to bring home and I don't.[/b]
It's very true that being 8-9 months pregnant is very different from being 6 months pregnant.


I sort of get annoyed sometimes, too, though. But for me it's "At least you don't have to go through this twice before getting a baby!" So I understand. I have a whole pregnancy I got nothing out of but an ultrasound video, some pictures, and my stretch marks.

So, I say all the time that I'm "SO DONE" being pregnant, but when I say it, I'm thinking that 18 months of pregnancy is MORE than enough!

I think I will always be jealous of those women who don't know what it feels like to feel the pain that we have felt.
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  #5  
May 12th, 2007, 10:52 PM
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I am not annoyed with you at all and I'm sorry if that seemed directed at you in any way. I'm having problems with people I know that are complaing about being pregnant and they aren't even half way done. (Kristin if you read this, not you in any way shape or form). People that are saying they don't want their baby because it was an accident, when all I want is a baby to hold and share my love with. I personally don't think any child is an accident. Them come and unfortunately go right when and where they are supposed to. I guess I'm just having a problem with my emotions right now. I know so many people that are pregnant and I always feel like I have to watch what I say because I might offend someone. Even by not being around them I some how offend them. No one that hasn't experianced it knows how it is....I don't know...my thoughts are so messed up right now...
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  #6  
May 13th, 2007, 02:27 PM
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Brittanie, I hope you know that you dont annoy me at all. In fact you are my inspiration to go through all that you have been through. It people like you like make this all easier, it is great to see a woman that has been through this kind of pain and finally get to enjoy a little one. I am very excited for you and I hope that one day I will also have a little one to love and hold and do all of those motherly things.

I know what you mean kimmie and I don't think anyone is offended. I think most of the women here have had our same thoughts and feelings at some point or if they haven't they will at some point. I know what you mean about all of these emotions. This seems to be the second worse weekend of my life so far. I will be so glad when Monday gets here.
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  #7  
May 16th, 2007, 01:14 PM
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Kimmie: I didn't think it was directed at me at all! I just wanted to have my bases covered in case I said something stupid in this forum. I try to keep my stupid complaints confined to my DDC, not here. They're not really appropriate here, even though I HAVE been through a loss. You know? Anyway, I totally understand what you mean about people complaining because they didn't mean to get pregnant.

A couple months after I lost Cora, I was at work (at Walmart) and overheard a woman talking to a friend. She had a baby carrier in her cart, and the baby was being kind of fussy (not to bad, but a little). She said "You know, if I had known babies were like this, I wouldn't have gotten pregnant."

I had to turn around and go back into the break room to keep from hitting her. I locked myself in the bathroom and cried for 15 minutes. So I think we all understand, and your annoyance/hurt is a very valid reaction. The fact is, it seems that those of us who lose are babies seems to be the ones who want them most (at least, those of us who are here) when people who don't want them or whatever get to keep them. I think that's the hardest part to accept, really.

I hope you're feeling a little better. And you'll probably be emotionally all over the place for quite a while. Aside from the physical cause of such drastic hormone changes in your body, you also have to deal with a terrible loss. Take your time, okay?

Mrs. Poe: to you too. Are you doing better now that the weekend is over?
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  #8  
May 21st, 2007, 11:32 AM
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I'm sorry you are feeling like this.
I thank God and count my blessings everyday and try so hard not to complain or be negative about pregnancy.
I truly hope you get to be pg again really soon.
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  #9  
May 23rd, 2007, 10:23 AM
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I so get why this bothers you. I have never carried a baby full term. Not even my living children. I remember right after I lost my DD at 22 weeks. My DH’s mother sent me to a spa to try and feel a little better. This was only 1 weeks after I lost my DD. While sitting waiting to get my facial there was a pregnant woman next to me which already had me to tears. She then started telling everybody how she was so ready to be done. She was only 6 months along. I did say something to her. At that point it was so recent that I had lost my daughter that I could just not keep my mouth shut. So yeah I get it and I understand why it bothers you so bad.
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  #10  
May 23rd, 2007, 11:48 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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My little sister is 25 or 26 weeks pregnant and has started saying "I'm so done. I don't want to do this again."


I want to slap her every time she tells me that.

#1: She does NOT get NEARLY as sick as me, so it annoys me when she complains about her "nausea" anyway. I'm still actually THROWING UP. And even when she was sickest she didn't get as sick as my GOOD weeks during my first tri.
#2: She has no reason not to think she'll get to take her baby home after this. By the time this baby arrives, I'll have 17 collective months of pregnancy (2 weeks early with each of them). 6 months is SO NOT a big deal.


I have started to tell either to shut up or that she has no right to complain.
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