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I don't really know how I feel about all of this. I mean I have wanted an answer to all of my questions of why?? why did my baby die? Well now my test results come back and they tell me that one of them were elevated and I would need to retest in 8-12 weeks. Said they need two of them to be elevated before treatments. Treatment would be a baby aspirin a day during pregnancy. And then OH, he finds another one while we are speaking and tells me that the mhtfr one was homogynous (sp?) and says that means 2 abnormal genes. And goes on to tell me that it will most likely mean me taking a shot of heparin a day. Does this mean only during pregnancy or for life? Anyways I am supposed to be seeing a hematologist soon and possibly have more tests done.
So I don't know how I really feel. I was crying my eyes out. Why didn't they do this test a long time ago? Why didn't they do it after my mc's? Why not when I first found out? I am mad that my Abby had to die, when all I would have had to do is take an aspirin and a shot a day to keep her alive.
I am supposed to be relieved by this, but I am not really. I mean it does make me feel a little better that it wasn't my diabetes, or the fact that I smoked a few cigarettes a day, or anything else that I did. But nothing is bringing my Abigail back and this just upsets me so much. I keep thinking I should be happy with these results, but I can't be happy that my little girl had to die in order to get these tests done. All of my babies had to die in order to get it done. They could have saved her if they would have just given me a simple blood test.
And so the dr. told me that I "should" wait for my test results (3months), but if it happens before then I shouldn't get too upset about it. He said they would just treat me based on these results. He went on to say that if I was older that he wouldn't make me wait, but since I am "only" 28 another 2-3 months won't be that bad. Yeah right, he doesn't have a clue how bad it is to tell a 28 year old woman who has been trying to get pregnant for 5 years and then go through this that 3 months isn't that bad. It is an eternity for us women. I was also told that I should never be on bcp's, so he told me that if it happens it happens. I guess that is his way of covering his own butt, but letting me know that I don't have to wait if we don't want to. Its a good thing, because I haven't been all that careful lately. Dh and I have had a couple of oopsies lately.
Thanks for listening.
Thank you Mistyx5 for my siggy.