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Today, June 20th, my son's first angel day


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
June 20th, 2007, 10:04 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Chicago
Posts: 1,201
I wanted to wish my son happy birthday but canít do it now as he was never born alive. So, what do I tell my Siddhu? I wanted to go to his cemetery and put some flowers and a letter. My religion does not allow pregnant women to go to cemetery and lot of other restrictions. Though I do not care about all these religious stuff, I canít hurt my DH by going myself without his knowledge. What kind of a mother am I, I canít even grieve on his angel day and canít even put some flowers. I am so sorry my dear son, please forgive me. You are in my heart always and you are loved so much. This has been a really tough year for me without you. Our lives are changed forever from the day you left us. I still feel bad and feel very guilty that I should have been more careful and I should have known what was coming. There is not a single day that has passed by without remembering you. I really do hope that your soul rest in peace. I know you are in good hands of God. I also do hope that I get enough strength to go through this today and the rest of my life.
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  #2  
June 20th, 2007, 03:26 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Arizona
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Bless you. I can't imagine having that kind of restriction. I KNOW your little angel baby knows how deeply you love him and how much you grieve for him. He loves you too and I truly believe you will meet him again someday to hold him and love him and tell him how much you have missed him. I shed tears for you as I write this and I pray you find some peace today.
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  #3  
June 20th, 2007, 05:31 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
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from me, also. I am sorry you cannot go to the cemetery. Your son is with you wherever you are, more than he is there.
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~Jennifer, wife of one, mother of many

Robert: 18 Raechel: 17 Daniel: 14 Joseph: 12 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 6 Lucy Marie: 4 and John Anthony, 1!!

Always Missing our Angels: Hope (7-8-06 @36w) and Francis (7-4-12 @12w)


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  #4  
June 20th, 2007, 06:53 PM
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We'll help you get thru this angel-day and every one that you need us for!
Sending hugs and prayers from Houston!
Dawna
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  #5  
June 21st, 2007, 09:54 AM
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Thanks a ton ladies. JM is the only outlet for me to grieve for the most part and you ladies here are great. yesterday went by but I felt so low for the most part. Even DH cried last night, he has been pretty strong for me. i know how he feels but he does not open up in front of me as he does not want me to be thinking of our son. My OB told us on Tuesday (at my 31 weeks appt) that it is not fair on this baby and it could affect this baby if I feel sad/depressed. So, DH wants me to be happy. Well, all I can do with great effort is Pretend to be happy. I do not think it gets any easier as the days pass by or the years pass by. I miss my son so much.
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  #6  
June 22nd, 2007, 03:12 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Arizona
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Quote:
We'll help you get thru this angel-day and every one that you need us for!
Sending hugs and prayers from Houston!
Dawna
[/b]
Dawna your siggy just made me cry. I have seen her picture so many times, but the little quote just brought me to tears.

Quote:
Thanks a ton ladies. JM is the only outlet for me to grieve for the most part and you ladies here are great. yesterday went by but I felt so low for the most part. Even DH cried last night, he has been pretty strong for me. i know how he feels but he does not open up in front of me as he does not want me to be thinking of our son. My OB told us on Tuesday (at my 31 weeks appt) that it is not fair on this baby and it could affect this baby if I feel sad/depressed. So, DH wants me to be happy. Well, all I can do with great effort is Pretend to be happy. I do not think it gets any easier as the days pass by or the years pass by. I miss my son so much.[/b]
Sorry to say you will ache to the day you die. I know I will. My friend yesterday asked how I was coping just over a year later and I still can't even answer or look someone in the eye when asked about Macy without being brought to tears. I honestly don't think that will ever change and I don't think I want it to.
I think it is unfair of your Dr. to assume you can just turn off your feelings. We all know that just because you don't show sadness doesn't mean it is not there. I think the worst thing you could do is stuff it all up and not let it out. Well, that is why we are here for each other.
I sure hope you have someone you can talk to this about face to face. You should have someone close to you that can be a shoulder for you to cry on.
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  #7  
June 23rd, 2007, 04:26 AM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
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What that doctor told you is nonsense, and I can't believe he said that.

Feeling sad or anxious or depressed CAN affect your pregnancy and labor... that I would agree with. But for him to say it is harmful to your baby was just putting an unfair burden on you. Besides, if anything, I think burying your feelings will do more harm than giving yourself permission to feel them.

I miss my little girl as much as ever, and I always will. But I'm getting to where I can think of her with a smile and talk to her without breaking down. It was only by embracing my grief that I was able to grow stronger because of it.

Blessings... and
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~Jennifer, wife of one, mother of many

Robert: 18 Raechel: 17 Daniel: 14 Joseph: 12 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 6 Lucy Marie: 4 and John Anthony, 1!!

Always Missing our Angels: Hope (7-8-06 @36w) and Francis (7-4-12 @12w)


I've lost 60 pounds, and I'm stronger than ever! No gimmicks, no BS, just exercise, nutrition, and support from the awesome Fitness and Weight Loss board here at JM!! Click the blinkie to join us!



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