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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
July 17th, 2007, 03:49 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
I know I haven't been posting much on any of the boards for a while. We are coming closer to my baby's 2year Angelversary and its already starting to hit I thought by now the pain wouldn't be so much but some days it hurts as much as the day I lost him. And it doesn't help much when there doesn't seem to be a light at the end of our tunnel of having another baby I have finally gotten AF back from getting the Depo back in Nov BUT we found out that after DH's vasectomy reversal that only one side took and that realistically that IVF is our only chance of having another baby, and that financially isn't even an option for us. This is so hard for me especially to deal with. And I feel like such a horrible person towards my DH. We have been having other problems in our marriage but I think that I am adding to them by pushing him away from me. Sometimes I catch myself with these horrible thoughts of not wanting him if he can't give me what I want. And that's not fair to him because it was me that wanted the vasectomy in the first place. I don't have anyone around me that I can talk to that will understand. Right now I have 3 girls at work pregnant 2 due in Oct and one in Nov and I hate the mood I get into when people gush over them or they are sharing things about their pregnancy, its not their fault about anything and I'm not REALLY mad AT anyone I am just pi$$ed at my situation and they are just easy targets for my hate and anger.

I don't know where I'm going with this post I just figuered that you ladies would be the ones who would understand me the most.
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Raquel Mom to The "A" Team: Anthony, almost 10yrs old (OMG double digits!!!!), Alexis, 8, Aiden, 5
Missing our Angel: Aries Isaiah 09/06/05 Carried you for only 24wks1d but in Mommy's heart FOREVER

To my Aries:
The time we had with you was brief,
We had to say good-bye,
Now angels kiss your little face,
And sing your lullaby.

Someday again, we'll be with you,
To cherish all those things,
Until that day it helps to know,
You're safe in angels wings.





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  #2  
July 17th, 2007, 11:58 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,632
I am so sorry hun. Sending you big . I wish there was something I could say to take your pain away, but I feel like I am in the same boat. Missing my baby and wanting to have another without much help from dh. Feel free to pm me anytime if you want to talk.
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  #3  
July 18th, 2007, 01:25 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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oh hunnie i wish i could come and hug you my heart breakes for our losses i wish you gentle days x
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  #4  
July 19th, 2007, 11:24 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,715
I'm sorry. I will pray you find the strength to get through this tough time. JM is SOOO here for you.
Try to embrace DH when you want to push him away. Sounds weird, but changing your behavior can change how you feel sometimes.
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