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Comforting words??


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
July 27th, 2007, 05:02 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 246
I wanted some ideas on what are some comforting words to say in a situation like stillbirth....My SIL had a stillbirth this morning and I am pregnant due in november...so im really worried about saying the right thing...she was due August 1 and there were no hints that this was going to happen...she went to the doctors because the movement had stopped and she was concerned...it was confirmed that there were no vital signs so they induced her! any ideas on what would be comforting for her would be really nice to hear
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  #2  
July 28th, 2007, 04:38 AM
Prudence's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 653
Right now the least you say is better, but be sure and let her know you care and think of her. Tell her you are there if she needs anything. Let her talk to you, ask question those sort of things. I wouldn't offer up any information. Down the line she might be resentful, but not purposely it would be just because this is so hard to go through.

I am really sorry, and I wish you lots of luck!
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  #3  
July 28th, 2007, 05:33 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,632
The best thing to say is "I am so sorry", thats it. To cry or show you care and to just be there if she needs you.
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  #4  
July 29th, 2007, 06:50 PM
Catherine's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,735
Ask to see her pictures.
Don't be afraid to mention the baby's name.
Tell her she is loved.
Tell her that you realize it is an awkward situation and you want to say/do what will be easiest for her.
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  #5  
August 4th, 2007, 07:05 PM
laineybugsmommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,277
When my best friend went through this last year, I found a really good book at Family Christian Store for her, I can't remember the title but it had a yellow rubber duck on the cover and was about losing a child, her whole family read it and said it really helped. Other than that I think just being there for her and listening to her talk, cry, yell and grieve was the best thing I did for her! I also made her a cd of songs for the funeral that she wanted to be played, little things like that. She also told her mom after the funeral that the most special thing was when her friends stood around her hospital bed and held her daughter...typing that still breaks my heart! Just be there, even though it's very hard. God bless you and your family at this difficult time!
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