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20 weeks - is it a stillbirth or miscarriage?


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
July 29th, 2007, 09:49 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Northern Idaho
Posts: 683
What are your thoughts on a loss at exactly 20 weeks - is it a stillbirth or a miscarriage?

I think medically 20+ weeks is considered a stillbirth. Weight wise we were not required to use a funeral home. When I left the hospital my dr told me you should be feeling better physically in a few days, but keep in mind you did just go thru childbirth nonetheless.

My due date was a few weeks ago, and I was irritated with some people calling it a miscarriage. I know I should just forget about it, but that has been on my mind - I was feeling like them calling it a miscarriage was being disrespectful since it was indeed a birth of our son. I know they didn't mean it that way, thats just the way I see it.

Is 19 weeks really one thing, and 21 weeks another? Where is the line drawn???
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  #2  
July 29th, 2007, 11:09 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,632
I feel your pain on that. Truly I do. I have mc'd twice and my daughter was stillborn (27 weeks). I went to see the hematologist and he kept calling it a mc and it really upset me. A dr. none the less telling me it was a mc, no it wasn't I gave birth to her. Sorry didn't mean to make this about me here. I think that if you deliver the baby that it is a stillbirth, although technically/medically after 20 weeks is . And it depends on who it was telling you that, but for me I always correct them, even the dr!

I guess it is the difference of them saying that the "fetus" has died or your baby has died. Although medically our baby is a fetus, it just doesn't make me feel any better. I would much rather someone acknowledge my baby, my daughter.

You have every right to be upset about the terms they use, but keep in mind, alot of people are just stupid and don't know the difference.

My little girls due date was July 10th, so I can relate in a lot of ways. Feel free to pm me anytime!
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  #3  
July 30th, 2007, 12:36 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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hey hun as far as im concerned i would consider her born sleeping my daughter was born sleeping at 24 weeks and i say she was born sleeping
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  #4  
July 30th, 2007, 07:39 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Northern Idaho
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Another thing that occurred to me is that when its early on and a heavy period, thats a miscarriage to me. But later on when you are actually fully dilated and contracted and they can tell if it was a boy or a girl, well that is indeed a birth.

Thanks for listening... Hugs to both of you
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  #5  
July 30th, 2007, 08:00 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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you are exactly right hun i have a early m./c at 11 weeks and it was very different
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  #6  
August 2nd, 2007, 01:08 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Arizona
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I am so sorry for your loss.
Yes, technically it's called a "late-miscarraige" in the 2nd trimester before week 20. Probably due to if the baby can be saved with todays measures after week 20 in some cases.
I had a stillbirth at 17 weeks. That is what I believe and I don't care what anybody thinks or says about it.
Hospital, labor, dilation, perfect little baby girl born sleeping who was alive until right before delivery.
I held her and screamed for her. And part of my heart was ripped out on that day.
She is my little angel and you have your little angel.
Sadly, all of us here know what a tragic and sad loss this is to suffer no matter what someone calls it.

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  #7  
August 5th, 2007, 05:57 PM
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I agree with Owensmommy... it's more or less your call. I think the "20 week rule" is a bust. I have a stillbirth certificate for my son born around 17 weeks. He was BORN, but he was sleeping. I was in the hospital having an ultrasound and I heard his little heart giving out; it was not a mass of blood, it was my son.
Sorry, I just get really defensive on this subject...

In my opinion, I would consider your case a stillbirth.
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss, though. We're all here for support!

Just curious Owensmommy, did you get a stillbirth certificate? I would've been quite upset if it hadn't been offered to me...
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  #8  
August 7th, 2007, 05:02 AM
Jaidynsmum's Avatar Dreams do come true....
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In my opinion is you give birth to your child it's not a miscarriage.
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  #9  
August 21st, 2007, 07:09 PM
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Quote:
Just curious Owensmommy, did you get a stillbirth certificate? I would've been quite upset if it hadn't been offered to me...[/b]
mm, not sure. The hospital i delivered in was wonderful to us & treated us like gold. I think because of Macy's age and the state of Arizona, birth cert. and death cert. is not issued but I just had Jordan at the same hosp. and I got all the same paperwork that I got for Macy with hand & finger prints & all that.
The funeral home was also wonderful & took great care of Macy, did everything for free and treated her like the little baby person that she was. They even sent a pastor to my house at her one year anniversary to make sure we were doing ok.


i'm very sorry for your loss.
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  #10  
August 22nd, 2007, 11:47 AM
Prudence's Avatar Super Mommy
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I think 12 weeks usually can define a line of miscarrage.
I know that they tried to get a ruling on weeks because they were trying to set a limitaion on abortion. I remember that they had said a week 20 is when a baby shouldn't be aborted. I think it is stupid, but I guess there has to be lines drawn somewhere. I think calling 2nd trimester losses a miscarrage is ignorance. I think it is used to minimize the loss of the baby. It is cruel.
I sadly let ppl make my choice. I was 23 weeks and I let the Dr and my mother convince me that a D&E was better than giving birth. So I guess either way mine was not all a miscarrage or a stillbirth. And sometimes ppl even my Dr. I have to correct and tell her I was 23weeks not 19. I would fight til the end to give my baby the respect it deserves.
But what do you call m loss, it is so minimized because of what I did. It stands for nothing and sometimes I feel like ppl think I am holding on to nothing.

I am sorry I know I have already given my opinion, I guess today is just a bad day for me.
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