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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
January 14th, 2008, 05:09 AM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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What do you say? Do you tell people the truth or do you just say how many earth angels you have? Alot of people have asked me and I have been honest. I have 2 children, one on earth and one in heaven. People start to freak out a little inside when you say that to them. I can see it in their eyes that they were sorry they asked. I feel like if I don't acknowledge Dominic that he can see it and it might hurt his feelings, KWIM? I am not ashamed of him or anything.

SarahBethsMommy got me thinking with her post about the reporter.
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  #2  
January 14th, 2008, 07:24 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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just depends who im talking to most of the time i tell them its not very often people ask....sometimes if they do i say 4 just so i dont make them feel sorry or awkward.....most people know about jessica tho....which now im thankful for....but in the early days people would stare and gossip about me being the one who's baby died
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  #3  
January 14th, 2008, 09:57 AM
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Hope it's ok if I post? If you mind just tell me and I'll get off lol

I tell everyone I have 2 who walk Freja and Raeden and an angel Calypso who soars with the angels. I know I've made people uncomfortable but I am at the point I don't care. People like to pretend that it doesn't happen and they feel shocked at reality imo when they find out someone's baby died. I'm an activist for March Of Dimes, I am what happens when Premature Birth kills the baby so I will talk about her and anyone who is uncomfortable can get over it
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  #4  
January 14th, 2008, 10:15 AM
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I always say one, but she is no longer living! It was hard at first, but I can't bring myself to lie just to let them be more comfortable. Besides that it usually keeps them from going on and on about theirs. I still can't deal with them telling me all about their children. So I figure the truth may hurt a little, but its better that way for me.
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  #5  
January 14th, 2008, 11:44 AM
LRAINYB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I say "I have 4, my oldest was stillborn in 1998 and I have 2 girls and a boy. Rayna 8, JB 5 and Madison 6 months" Then they ask me what happened. Then I tell them. I feel better talking about it. And if it wasn't for the doctor who found out what happened I wouldn't have my other 3.
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  #6  
January 14th, 2008, 06:10 PM
~ Liz ~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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It depends on whom I'm speaking to. If it's someone I don't know, I'll say two daughters and one on the way. If it were old friends and we're catching up, I definitely tell them about Elijah! And the twins, too!
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  #7  
January 14th, 2008, 06:57 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Hope it's ok if I post? If you mind just tell me and I'll get off lol

I tell everyone I have 2 who walk Freja and Raeden and an angel Calypso who soars with the angels. I know I've made people uncomfortable but I am at the point I don't care. People like to pretend that it doesn't happen and they feel shocked at reality imo when they find out someone's baby died. I'm an activist for March Of Dimes, I am what happens when Premature Birth kills the baby so I will talk about her and anyone who is uncomfortable can get over it[/b]

Of course it is ok you post here. We all lost our babies and that is something we have in common.


Thank you everyone for your posts. I like talking about him. I feel guilty if I don't say 2.
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My trio: Alyssa 7, Tristan 4.75, Gavin 1.5

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  #8  
January 14th, 2008, 07:24 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I say 2 now. That reporter was the first who asked. I guess saying it once makes me more able to say it now.
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  #9  
January 14th, 2008, 08:54 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I don't know, it's a little different for me. If it's someone I don't know, and they ask how many children I have, I say just Erin, because I know that's the question they're asking. She's my only one on earth. I don't know how they'd react to hearing I lost Cora, and I HATE seeing the "I'm sorry I asked" look in their eyes.

However, if they ask if Erin's my first...I can't lie. She's not. My first was stillborn. I miss my first more than anything.
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  #10  
January 16th, 2008, 06:07 AM
Jaidynsmum's Avatar Dreams do come true....
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I say 5, my first daughter was stillborn in 1994 and I have 3 other daighters and a son.
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  #11  
January 17th, 2008, 02:50 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
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It depends on who it is. Usually I say something like "six on earth and a baby in heaven", but if it is a stranger just making small talk I'll just say either six or seven without explanation.
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  #12  
February 3rd, 2008, 02:36 PM
sarahp's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I always hesitate, but say we don't have any children. I don't want to share my tragedy with complete strangers. If it's someone who I think is going to become a friend, I tell them about Joshua.
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  #13  
February 7th, 2008, 12:04 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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depends on who I am talking to. I know what you mean though, I always want people to know about Macy because she is so real I don't want to leave her out. I leave her little shrine in my living room always so people can see her when they come over. In my house at least, she is everywhere. Maybe out in public sometimes she is just in my heart. Usually with women I will tell them. So many women have had losses. Men usually not.
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