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My Gracie


Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
January 28th, 2008, 03:29 PM
BornAgainRenee's Avatar TTC #6 after 4 losses
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Location: Denver Colorado
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On friday Jan 18th, I was giving my son Daniel a bath and I thought I felt wetness. Course Grace is my 6th baby and I thought that maybe she just kicked my bladder and I wet a little. So I went to bed that night and woke up to more wetness. I called my Dr. and they told me to go to Labor and Delivery. So I did, they did some tests and it came back that it was just cervical mucus. So they had us go home. All was well that night and the next day until later in the evening. I had some spotting. I thought well the did a lot to me yesterday, its probably just my cervix being sensitive. So I slept on it. Then in the morning there was more red to it so I called the Dr. They told me to come in. I did and they did an ultrasound right away. There was Gracie, moving around and strong heart beat. But there was no fluid around her it was all below her. So the Dr. told me that my bag of water had slipped through my semi dialated cervix and was in my vaginal area and that the umbilical cord had come through too.
He told me that I had two options. I could induce labor and deliver her, or I could go through a risky proceedure to push that bad of water back in and then do a cerclage. Well I told my dh that there was no way I could kill my baby. SHe had a strong heart beat and I was feeling her moving around. SO we decided to go with the risk. They took me to the hospital and took some blood. Then they put a cathader in and raised my bottom above my head in hopes that the bag of water would start to go back in on its own. My dh went home to get me some things and then came back. WHen he came back I told him that I thought I had a contraction. I have never gone into labor on my own, I have always been induced, so I have no clue what those first contractions feel like. We decided to wait and see if I had another one before we called the nurse, well I did, but at the same time my water broke. We called the nurse in and she checked, yes it was broken. SO the Dr. came in and they had me start to push. I pushed 2 times and Gracie came. I felt her little body come out of me and I just started sobbing, I knew it meant her death. They gave her to me and she was moving and opening her mouth. I put my finger in her hand and she grasped it. Then they told me to kiss her and they took her and gave her to daddy and wheeled me to surgery. I was hemoraging and they needed to do an emergency d&c to stop the bleeding. When I came out of surgery I learned that Gracie passed away in her Daddy's loving arms.
She stayed with me that whole night and most of the next day. We let her go for a while that night, but then had them bring her back so we could tell her goodnight. Then the next day before we left, we lovingly undressed her from the clothes and blankets the hospital gave her and wrapped her in a blanket, then we said goodbye.
This last Saturday we had her memorial service at our church. We picked out a pretty marble heart for her urn and we have her ashes in it on our shelves in our living room, along with two framed pictures of her. Here are the pics. I hope its ok to put them here.

and her urn and other things from the hospital

and the display table durring her service
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  #2  
January 28th, 2008, 04:26 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
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It makes me so sad to see this. I don't think it's inappropriate for you to post pictures, since we all have them.

What a pretty baby. I'm so sorry that things turned out like they did. She's so pretty, and that urn is beautiful too.

I have a little display kind of like that.


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  #3  
January 28th, 2008, 04:29 PM
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Your little Gracie is so beautiful! I am so sorry for your loss.
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  #4  
January 28th, 2008, 06:59 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Awww! She's just darling! It means so much to be able to see her...knowing that you and she exchanged a touch...some love... too short a time to be together, but a lifetime of love in a single touch.

God bless you, and thank you for sharing Gracie.
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  #5  
January 28th, 2008, 08:59 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your beautiful girl with us. How incredibly special that you were able to share that touch with her. She knew nothing but the love of her parents. I am so sorry it wasn't longer. I love the urn you have for her.
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  #6  
January 29th, 2008, 02:43 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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hey hun i feel honored to be able to see your beautiful daughter....she is a princess x
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  #7  
January 29th, 2008, 08:51 PM
cam & sami's mom's Avatar Super Mommy
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I am so sorry for your loss. She is a beautiful little angel.
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  #8  
January 31st, 2008, 07:57 AM
jademyst13's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Gracie was so beautiful!

I was hoping that you had gotten a few pictures of her to keep, but I didn't want to upset you by asking.
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  #9  
January 31st, 2008, 08:30 AM
whalenmommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Renee - I just wanted to let you know I've been thinking about you and Gracie - and your post/pictures/memories are beautiful...I love you!!! Stay in touch, k?
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  #10  
January 31st, 2008, 02:45 PM
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I've been keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers Renee. I'm sorry for your loss. It looks like you had a beautiful service for Grace, and she was beautiful.
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  #11  
February 1st, 2008, 04:21 AM
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I'm crying my eyes out. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your little girl is so beautiful! Such a little princess! She's an even more beautiful angel
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  #12  
February 2nd, 2008, 12:23 AM
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She is beautiful and is keeping my sweet cousin company.
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  #13  
February 2nd, 2008, 06:49 PM
lizard's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry. She is a gorgeous little girl.
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  #14  
February 7th, 2008, 08:52 PM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Super Moderator
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she is beautiful hun
I am so sorry for your loss
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  #15  
February 9th, 2008, 07:40 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
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I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your Gracie with us...
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