Log In Sign Up

She forgot...


Forum: Stillbirth

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Stillbirth LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
March 7th, 2008, 03:51 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Upper Michigan
Posts: 14,288
Send a message via Yahoo to jhmomofmany
Got an e-mail from my mom the other day and the context doesn't matter, but she mentioned something about her "8" grandchildren. My sister has two children and I have six... except I really have seven.

In all fairness, we live far away from my parents and so she never saw me pregnant, wasn't there to help with the funeral or the grieving process or anything (although she and my sister did make the drive to see us afterwards). So I understand that Hope's life and death is not a daily part of her existance like it is for us. Still, it would be nice to think that she remembers. It's not like it has been that long ago.

WWYD? Would you say something or just let it go? I decided to just let it go this time, but I wonder if I should have spoken up for my little girl.

__________________
~Jennifer, wife of one, mother of many

Robert: 18 Raechel: 17 Daniel: 14 Joseph: 12 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 6 Lucy Marie: 4 and John Anthony, 1!!

Always Missing our Angels: Hope (7-8-06 @36w) and Francis (7-4-12 @12w)


I've lost 60 pounds, and I'm stronger than ever! No gimmicks, no BS, just exercise, nutrition, and support from the awesome Fitness and Weight Loss board here at JM!! Click the blinkie to join us!



Reply With Quote
  #2  
March 7th, 2008, 07:08 PM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Wow, I don't know. I probably would have just let it go too. But I'm so sorry your mom left Hope out. Maybe you could just mention Hope in a reply email without calling her out on it. Just "remind" her without saying it in so many words.
__________________
VIEW MY BLOG



Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
March 7th, 2008, 07:39 PM
sarahp's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: An Aussie living in California
Posts: 0
I wouldn't expect my mum to consider my stillborn baby as one of her grandchildren. Yes, she held him and cried over him, but I still wouldn't expect it. If it means something to you for her to consider Hope as one of her grandchildren, and to refer to her that way, then let her know.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #4  
March 8th, 2008, 02:09 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,632
My mom doesn't want to mention Abby at all, unless I am talking about her or if I bring her up. I think she is afraid she will "make me think about her", as if we aren't always thinking of our babies. My mom doesn't want to see me cry though. If my mom did that I would probably remind her, but its hard to say until I am in your shoes. Whatever you do, I am sure it will be best for you and your family.
__________________
Thank you Mistyx5 for my siggy.

Reply With Quote
  #5  
March 9th, 2008, 11:42 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
My dad doesn't refer to Cora as one of his grandchildren either. It really upset me at first, but I've learned that not talking about things is just his way.
__________________
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog


Reply With Quote
  #6  
March 9th, 2008, 06:55 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Upper Michigan
Posts: 14,288
Send a message via Yahoo to jhmomofmany
Thank you for your support, Ladies.
__________________
~Jennifer, wife of one, mother of many

Robert: 18 Raechel: 17 Daniel: 14 Joseph: 12 Thomas: 10 Mary Mae: 6 Lucy Marie: 4 and John Anthony, 1!!

Always Missing our Angels: Hope (7-8-06 @36w) and Francis (7-4-12 @12w)


I've lost 60 pounds, and I'm stronger than ever! No gimmicks, no BS, just exercise, nutrition, and support from the awesome Fitness and Weight Loss board here at JM!! Click the blinkie to join us!



Reply With Quote
  #7  
March 9th, 2008, 08:16 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SW FL
Posts: 8,785
I am sorry about that. My parents fully accept Dominic as their grandson, their only grandson as of this moment. He is just in heaven. I am so sorry about your mom. I hope you are ok with it. I don't know how I would handle that. **hugs**
__________________
Leann <3 Hector
My trio: Alyssa 7, Tristan 4.75, Gavin 1.5

I am a mixture of all that and a bag of chips... IJS



Rest In Peace Jennifer <3



Reply With Quote
  #8  
March 15th, 2008, 06:08 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Super Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Beaverbank, Nova Scotia
Posts: 19,417
Send a message via MSN to Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy Send a message via Yahoo to Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy
my parents do not when referring to their grandchildren either and it does bug me
__________________
Jenn
Marsha's Girlfriend

My Kiddos
Chloe (14),
Benjamin (9)
Logan (6), Kaitlin (3)



εϊз Some People Dream of Angels But I Held One In My Arms εϊз
Rebecca Lee Stillborn 10-30-03
Reply With Quote
  #9  
April 2nd, 2008, 01:01 PM
..Red..'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,952
I don't know if my parents would consider Gwenyth their granddaughter or not. She is their only grand child a the moment (well there are two step kids that they love) but I think they are more worried about making me sad. They are bending over backwards to do nice things for me. They never make the drive to visit but they have a couple times now (we are less than an hour away). They call as much as daily but sometimes every couple of days. Usually my dad doesn't call at all. My mom usually only calls if it's been more than a week since I called her. But will they really bring up the baby? Not usually and its round about if they do.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #10  
April 3rd, 2008, 05:32 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Super Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Beaverbank, Nova Scotia
Posts: 19,417
Send a message via MSN to Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy Send a message via Yahoo to Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy
as long as we keep our children's memory alive that is all we can do
__________________
Jenn
Marsha's Girlfriend

My Kiddos
Chloe (14),
Benjamin (9)
Logan (6), Kaitlin (3)



εϊз Some People Dream of Angels But I Held One In My Arms εϊз
Rebecca Lee Stillborn 10-30-03
Reply With Quote
  #11  
April 4th, 2008, 07:03 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 962
A similar thing happened to me. My brother and his wife called to let us know they were pregnant back in Sept and joked that they were going to name the baby "ten" since it was the tenth grandchild. I didn't say anything but I got off the phone and cried because Sean was the 10th grandchild. I didn't want to burst their bubble or make them feel badly for telling me they were pregnant in the first place, I am sure it was hard for them to make that phone call to begin with and they didn't realize what they had said. I am sorry your mom didn't include Hope.
__________________

Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:09 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0