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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
March 19th, 2008, 01:33 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Maybe I am being hormonal, but I want to slap everyone in my DDC right now.

There was a thread started about fears about this pregnancy. Besides M/c, the thing that these women are mostly concerned about is gaining weight........

***? Who cares about the weight? I don't. As long as I have a healthy baby, I don't care if I looked like the michelin baby......

If weight is your biggest worry, I think you should rethink becoming a mom.


But then again I remember when I was an ignorant 1st time mom. But weight still wasn't my concern.
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  #2  
March 19th, 2008, 01:41 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Heh, after going through infertility, even my first pregnancy I just felt so very blessed by it all. I always get irritated by people complaining about what is, in my mind, a small issue - weight gain, stretch marks, etc. And now it's even more strong for me.... just the desire for a healthy baby. That's all I want, ever.
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  #3  
March 19th, 2008, 01:55 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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When I got pregnant one of my first woes was the fact I was going to get fat. But that probably has something to do with the fact my pregnancy was a "surprise" and I'd just spent 7 months working my butt off to get off 30lbs and fit into somewhat comfortably into my tankini for the first time.

But it didn't take me long to come around and thing "Heh... now it's ok to be fat!" How sad is it that I look forward to that again?

But I do see your point 100%. It's different if you've suffered a loss I think, especially a late one, because you'd go through it all again in a heartbeat.
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  #4  
March 19th, 2008, 02:30 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I was so worried about gaining weight my first pregnancy...But in all actually my biggest worry was the fact that I couldn't stop throwing up. So really, there was no worry about getting fat because I LOST weight during that pregnancy!!

But yes, it was very different when I was pregnant with Cora. When my DDC was talking about their fears, even the ones who were worried about miscarrying seemed silly to me. I mean, most of them had no reason to worry. The ones who miscarried before didn't bother me so much, but the ones who were freaking out just for the sake of freaking out, that bothered me a lot. I felt like screaming "WHAT RIGHT HAVE YOU TO BE WORRIED???" You know, just because I was so worried.

It's really hard to be pregnant after a loss. Your world is so very different than theirs. I'm sorry.

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  #5  
March 19th, 2008, 02:45 PM
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I remember feeling that way when I was in a ddc with Abby. I kept thinking getting "fat" is a great thing. I can't wait until I can get fatter for a good reason, instead of just because of emotional eating.

Sorry your having to deal with this now in your ddc. I think pregnancy after loss might be a better board for you to visit on a regular basis. At least the women there don't care about gaining weight, well as long as it is healthy (not elevating bp or anything like that).
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  #6  
March 19th, 2008, 03:11 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thank you for suggestion Pregnancy after Loss, I really totally forgot about that board. I think once the DDC moves past the first 15 weeks or so everything will get better.

I always use the quick links at the bottom of the page, so I barely look at the main forum anymore.

I guess weight was an issue, but I wasn't concerned KWIM? If I gained to much, I don't care. I have gained what was recommended with both pregnancies. Some of it hasn't came off, but I wasn't really trying.

I was about to start a big diet, but I can't diet while preggo! I will def be eating healthier than I did with the other 2 because I have some extra baggage!

Thanks ladies.

I get wrapped up in my own emotions I don't think rationally sometimes. I am glad that you ladies know what I am going thru and can suggest things when I can't see what is right in front of me. **hugs**
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  #7  
March 19th, 2008, 04:49 PM
sarahp's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Unfortunately I think there's going to be a lot of moments when you get really peeved with your DDC. They are blissfully unaware of the REAL problems in a pregnancy. It's going to be SO frustrating for you, but I wish we could all go back to the time where a pregnancy was fun, stress-free and our biggest concern WAS our weight gain!

Come and complain to us any time
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  #8  
March 19th, 2008, 06:48 PM
la_sirena's Avatar Veteran
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Just gentle hugs.
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  #9  
March 20th, 2008, 09:39 AM
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I am in a DDC club and I am finding it hard to not comment when people are complaining of throwing up or having to give themselves daily injections etc - I am like you hug that belly and be grateful for each day that baby is in your stomach - argh -

the thing about stillbirth is you lose your innocence
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  #10  
March 20th, 2008, 09:55 AM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Also, I don't want to be rude. I want to say something SOOOOOOOOOO bad to them. But I click another way because I will wind up attacking someone. I am glad I have a few other mommies in there that are going thru this too. The girl that her siggy was complained about is in my DDC and I think another momma with a stillborn. Also, we have a few surrogants, which I think is awesome! My last DDC didnt have any surrogants. Those ladies are so strong to be able to give up a baby after 9 months of pregnancy. They are such selfless mommas. I could never do that unless it was for my sister or the SIL I like!
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Leann <3 Hector
My trio: Alyssa 7, Tristan 4.75, Gavin 1.5

I am a mixture of all that and a bag of chips... IJS



Rest In Peace Jennifer <3



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  #11  
March 20th, 2008, 10:19 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Super Moderator
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I have made comments
she reported it to a moderator and I lost my host title of my ddc
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  #12  
March 20th, 2008, 12:33 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Awww, that is one of the reasons I don't want to be host. I am a very supportive person when it comes to things that matter. But I just want to tell them to stop complaining and be happy!

I would def lose my host job too.

**hugs**
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Leann <3 Hector
My trio: Alyssa 7, Tristan 4.75, Gavin 1.5

I am a mixture of all that and a bag of chips... IJS



Rest In Peace Jennifer <3



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  #13  
March 23rd, 2008, 08:12 PM
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I completely understand your beef. After my first pregnancy ending in a very scary ordeal, my son coming early and spending a lot of time in the NICU, and my second pregnancy ending the way it did, I could never care about the weight. That's the least of our concerns. I would never wish anyone our pain, but I just wish for a moment that some people could understand. I unfortunately have to deal with one of those ignorant women every single stinkin day at work!
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  #14  
April 2nd, 2008, 11:41 AM
..Red..'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I actually did say something to someone in my old DDC. Someone wanted to lose weigh! These are people who are 24-28 weeks along. They shouldn't be losing weight. I would love to be gaining baby weight right now. As it is, I'll likely not be putting on baby weight for months. If I am lucky I'll get my BP down quickly and can start TTC when it is stable. And if I am lucky I'll get pregnant as easily as I did last time.
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