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Forum: Stillbirth

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  #1  
March 27th, 2008, 03:09 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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........ I just got a call from Dr. M..... the head honcho doc who was asked to review our findings and go over stuff with us. He got the pathology results back. So. We have our answer.

It seems there was a band of amniotic sac tissue wrapped around the cord..... like a little piece of tissue tore off from the inner sac and got wrapped around the cord like a piece of string. It cut off his blood flow, his oxygen. He strangled.

I had this strong feeling it was a cord accident.... though I thought it would be that it was wrapped around his neck (and it was - but it was loose... turns out that's not what killed him).

He said this particular type of thing happens very very rarely. He said they see about 3,000-4,000 neonatal deaths a year.... and this particular issue comes up once every few years. So 1 in 10,000 to 1 in 20,000? Something like that? My baby died in a #%*$ freak accident that is totally against the odds. I am struggling to deal with that fact. Not only was it a cord accident it was a totally FREAK RANDOM ACCIDENT.

The good news is that it is totally non-reoccurring. He repeated that several times. Non-reoccurring. Will not be an issue next time. Of course now I'm very well acquainted with being on the wrong end of totally improbable odds so I'm never going to feel safe again.... light knows what can go wrong. But this particular thing, is not something you are "prone" to, not something that I'm at a higher risk for. Just #%*$ lighting out of the sky.

He also said that it's not something I or they could have prevented... not something you can watch for. Reaffirms my belief that the Midwives did everything right.

That isn't to say I couldn't have saved him, though... not in my mind. If I had noticed he was struggling? I get the feeling it wasn't just a sudden thing... it slowly got tighter. What if I had gone in when I noticed his movement changed? Could they have gotten him out in time? I'll have to live with that the rest of my life.
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  #2  
March 27th, 2008, 03:47 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
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I am so sorry for your loss... I'm sure most if not all of us are familiar with feeling somewhat responsible for loosing our babies. You just cannot blame yourself for loosing Devin. It is good you got an answer even though it doesn't make things better it is hopefully reassuring to you.
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  #3  
March 27th, 2008, 04:00 PM
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Nat ... I am glad on the one hand you got a proper specific answer to what happened, I am guessing part of you has some relief that it was such an uncommon thing but a huge part of you is so mad about that.

Dealing with the results of what happened has been so much harder on me then I thought it would be, but I guess that is part of the process.

What are you guys considering for future ttc options? are you going to completely avoid at the moment? or will you see if it some how happens naturally?
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  #4  
March 27th, 2008, 04:04 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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What are you guys considering for future ttc options? are you going to completely avoid at the moment? or will you see if it some how happens naturally?[/b]
We're actually going to be actively trying soon as my cycles return. Well, for us "actively trying" means having sex and hoping very very much that we can get on the good side of odds, for once. We'll probaby be headed back to the RE doc in about 6 months time to see what we can afford to do, treatment-wise.
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  #5  
March 27th, 2008, 04:58 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am glad you got some answers. **hugs**
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  #6  
March 28th, 2008, 05:13 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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hun im sorry i know how hard it is my daughter also died due to a cord accident..i was so angry knowing that it was her life line that actualy caused her to pass i did blame myself but hun i realised that it was totaly out of my control...and thats whats scares me now about being preg again i wish you gentle hugs and floaty kisses to devin x
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  #7  
March 28th, 2008, 05:15 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Super Moderator
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rest in comfort though you have an answer - we have never known what took our daughter....
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  #8  
March 28th, 2008, 07:45 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm happy you got an answer. We also have never found out what happened to Bryan Luke. It scares us to death to not know if it was something freak or something that could happen again.

I know it won't do any good to say, but don't blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. Unfortunantly this is not something detectable or forseeable!
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  #9  
March 31st, 2008, 12:11 AM
sarahp's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I know the feeling - ours was a cord accident, but just a "regular" one, and I don't think it's any easier. I feel sick when I think that he strangled to death while I had absolutely no idea. I try not to think about it too much or I will break down.

I hate that it was a freak accident, I still think "why me?" I hate when people say to me "it was a freak accident, it won't happen again, so don't worry". That makes me SO angry. How does anyone know it won't happen again?!!?! There is so many different freak accidents, and ways a baby can die, and just because I lost one, doesn't mean there's some magic karma thing out there that says I won't lose another.

I understand your pain and frustration, and I'm glad that you have an answer, but I am sorry it doesn't give you any comfort. *hugs*
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  #10  
March 31st, 2008, 06:07 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Quote:
That isn't to say I couldn't have saved him, though... not in my mind. If I had noticed he was struggling? I get the feeling it wasn't just a sudden thing... it slowly got tighter. What if I had gone in when I noticed his movement changed? Could they have gotten him out in time? I'll have to live with that the rest of my life.[/b]
Oh man, I know this feeling.


Mine was a cord accident too, but like the other ladies it was a "regular" one. The cord tightened when she dropped Sunday morning, and by Monday morning she was gone.

Sad thing is, she DID slow down throughout the day. But I was 38w and 2cm dilated/30% effaced and in "pre-labor." My Dr.s were not expecting me to make it to my Wednesday appointment. I thought her slowing was in prep for labor. I totally expected to wake up at 3am w/contractions. Instead I woke up at 11am with my body and my baby doing absolutely nothing. No more contractions, even when waking stairs. She wasn't dropped anymore. No more heartbeat.

Sometimes I wish I had had some reason to go into the hospital, some real reason, because if I had they would have noticed her struggling and done and emergency c/s. I was at work Sunday evening and even told a friend who had come in that I thought I was leaking fluid and was scared something was wrong. But I decided it was just a lot of cm (which is what it was) and that I should just go to bed and see what happens in the morning.

GAH! I don't think I'll ever stop feeling guilty for that.


But...Erin is proof that it can have a happy ending. I'm just hoping that you get another miracle and become pregnant again!
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  #11  
April 1st, 2008, 10:52 PM
paganmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Popping in from the April DDC....

Natalie, I can certainly understand your feelings in relation to the amniotic band taking your baby's life. My daughter Aislyn was born missing part of her left arm due to the same thing. The band wrapped around her arm a couple of inches below the elbow, amputating it while she was still inside me. Even though she was alive, I kept feeling guilty and wondering what I could have done to prevent this from happening. I know in reality there's nothing that could have prevented it. As you said, it was just a freak accident that happens very rarely. But still, it's something that bothers me to this day.

I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone out there who has great concern about freak accident that is the amniotic band. *hugs*
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