Log In Sign Up

Told Inlaws was hoping it be better :o(


Forum: Due Date Club of May 2014

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree14Likes
  • 2 Post By joanna26
  • 2 Post By xagamama
  • 1 Post By Andrea1122
  • 1 Post By anhoyle
  • 1 Post By Beeker
  • 1 Post By fmlbulridr018
  • 1 Post By mkljmom
  • 1 Post By inyourhonor
  • 1 Post By MommaBean18
  • 1 Post By ToMuchElmo
  • 1 Post By emilyeeb
  • 1 Post By underhermantle

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Due Date Club of May 2014 LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
September 30th, 2013, 08:37 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 397
Well it happened yesterday. I know this baby is not our first he/she will actually be our 5th but we are so happy about the gift we have been given...so excited because each baby is a unique individual and little person we cant wait to love! I was really hoping things wouldn't have felt so awkward. My inlaws invited us to brunch along with my bil and sil and their 2 adorable children. My 3 yo kinda spilled the beans to my mil prior to us arriving that morning so she knew but did not say any thing to my fil. We prepared a nice reveal for them. I got the sweetest gift bag that said the best gift ever on it and inside I put a sweet baby elephant that sings a lullaby (mil loves elephants collects them). I also put a card that had baby foot prints and said congratulations grandma and grandpa see you in May! This was a gesture of love because I did not even feel like seeing my mil as she can be very difficult and troublesome. I wanted to do the right thing and try to make her happy regardless. When we got there my husband gave her the bag and she was hesitant then my 7yo was asking her to open it. She opened it sort of laughed and said o look a new elephant for my collection...she was playing dumb I guess? Then my sil said something like o wow maybe you can have one for each of the months or something meaning she knew what we were trying to say with the gift? Then mil reads card sort of smile and laughs again and gives it to fil...waits for him to figure it out. He gets up hugs me and says congratulations...thank God cause I was so uncomfortable. MIL says nothing no hug no smile she always hugs me at least??? closes bag and makes it like it never happened. No one says anything to sil and bil so bil says wow really? and that was it. I am feeling awkward so I tell the story of how my 3yo ds told grandma this morning how it was supposed to be a surprise and he cant tell her about the baby in my tummy. Bil and sil laugh. No one says congrats or we are happy for you just fil???? It was weird. I am thinking MIL is not happy and cant understand how she contained herself from telling fil before we got there? Just felt so weird. It is hard for me because my mom is gone and I know she would have been really happy for us. Does anyone else who has lost their mother feel this way. I told mil this but she still remains cold. Anyway that's our big reveal wooptidooo! All I was hoping for was a more warm reaction I guess I should be happy no one said anything negative. It has always be me and dh against the world since I lost my mom and grandma I should be grateful he is so wonderful! Sorry for the pity party ladies just made me feel sad and miss my mom all the more.
__________________

How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers. ~ Blessed Mother Teresa
Reply With Quote
  #2  
September 30th, 2013, 08:58 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 4,595
Aww I'm sorry they were not more excited hun Every baby is special and deserves to be celebrated!
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #3  
September 30th, 2013, 09:00 AM
Sheila
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 596
I'm so sorry for your lack luster response. I knew we wouldn't be getting a good response from my MIL either. She actually said "Where in the h*ll are you going to put it?" This is #5 for us as well. Actually #6 because we lost a baby this last May. My MIL said some pretty insensitive things in that situation as well.
I know that she loves my kids to bits when they get here, but she is so rude and adamantly thinks we should be "done" having kids. She made it clear that she thought that about 3 kids ago. HA! My hubby is an only child, but my MIL comes from a family of 7 kids and she is #5 herself! All 7 were raised in the house we currently live in. I just don't get it!! And how someone isn't excited about a new baby is beyond me! My husband and I don't ask for anything, and we don't even hardly ever have help watching the kids. So it is not like this is going to be a new "burden" for her or something.
I honestly just can't wrap my head around any of this! This baby is every bit as exciting as my first! At least my kids are excited and they want to talk baby all of the time. So that makes up for it in the long run!
I'm sorry about the loss of your mom, I can only imagine that makes everything so much worse with your MIL. I hope you can find comfort in those that ARE excited about your news.
underhermantle and ToMuchElmo like this.
__________________
Sheila, loving wife to Patrick
and mom to Xavier (9), Gabriel (7), Michaela (4) and Dominic (2).
baby #5 05/16/13

Make a pregnancy ticker
Reply With Quote
  #4  
September 30th, 2013, 09:10 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 397
Quote:
Originally Posted by xagamama View Post
I'm so sorry for your lack luster response. I knew we wouldn't be getting a good response from my MIL either. She actually said "Where in the h*ll are you going to put it?" This is #5 for us as well. Actually #6 because we lost a baby this last May. My MIL said some pretty insensitive things in that situation as well.
I know that she loves my kids to bits when they get here, but she is so rude and adamantly thinks we should be "done" having kids. She made it clear that she thought that about 3 kids ago. HA! My hubby is an only child, but my MIL comes from a family of 7 kids and she is #5 herself! All 7 were raised in the house we currently live in. I just don't get it!! And how someone isn't excited about a new baby is beyond me! My husband and I don't ask for anything, and we don't even hardly ever have help watching the kids. So it is not like this is going to be a new "burden" for her or something.
I honestly just can't wrap my head around any of this! This baby is every bit as exciting as my first! At least my kids are excited and they want to talk baby all of the time. So that makes up for it in the long run!
I'm sorry about the loss of your mom, I can only imagine that makes everything so much worse with your MIL. I hope you can find comfort in those that ARE excited about your news.
Wow I certainly understand all you have said. My mil has said some pretty harsh things too. I am so happy for you congratulations and I am so sorry for your loss of baby number five. Thank you so much for your kind words...I feel better.

Quote:
Originally Posted by joanna26 View Post
Aww I'm sorry they were not more excited hun Every baby is special and deserves to be celebrated!
Thank you so much!!!!
__________________

How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers. ~ Blessed Mother Teresa
Reply With Quote
  #5  
September 30th, 2013, 09:15 AM
Andrea1122's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: California, Thank you military for sending us back home
Posts: 3,508
That is so upsetting, I'm sorry.. All babies are blessing no matter how many you have.
I'm fully expecting a bad reaction from my dad, so I'm not looking forward to telling him. I told my mom last week, and wish I hadn't. She is worried about my health and she knew we weren't really wanting another right now. But at least she hugged me, and I know she will be excited. My in laws will be excited too, they had 5 kids.

Don't let her get you down though, be happy even if no one else is
underhermantle likes this.
__________________




It's a Boy!!!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
September 30th, 2013, 09:37 AM
anhoyle's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,112
Aww sorry she was so rotten. My in laws weren't really happy for us either since baby #2 wasn't planned and ds will only be 18 months when this baby is born. My mil thinks it's too close and didn't really seem happy when dh told her. She kept saying well if you can handle it more power to you. .... umm last time i checked I'm already pregnant so there's no going back. She started fussing at me to stop nursing my son when my dr said it is fine. I truly think children are a blessing and should be welcomed with loving hearts and arms no matter what.
underhermantle likes this.
__________________


[/url

Reply With Quote
  #7  
September 30th, 2013, 11:25 AM
Beeker's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Alameda, CA
Posts: 1,068
Hugs!! My MIL sucks too! Every baby should be a celebration!
underhermantle likes this.
__________________

Thank you Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
September 30th, 2013, 11:44 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: WY AND PA
Posts: 1,753
*lurking* I am sorry she didnt respond any better. I know how it feels when they are just like ehhh really another one.. hopefully things get bettter
underhermantle likes this.
__________________


thank you PrincessMom08 for my siggy.



Reply With Quote
  #9  
September 30th, 2013, 12:19 PM
mkljmom's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 647
My miI doesn't act weird until the baby arrives. When the babies come, she acts harsh and defensive and always finds something that we do that made her angry. (Last time it was bc my mom brought her bf with her to the hospital). She didn't act happy at all when she came into delivery to see the baby and made my husband so upset with her reaction that he cried. (He doesn't ever cry) She didn't see us or the baby for a month after that. (we normally see her at least once a week).

I just remind DH and myself that it is her issue and not ours. It is hurtful but try not to let her problem make you upset. Don't let her actions and those of others make this time any less special for you!
underhermantle likes this.
__________________
Mandy
wife to Richard
Mommy to Max 9/21/99, Lucy 8/9/05, Kirby 7/18/07, Jaycie 2/11/09, and expecting baby #5 5/6/14
Reply With Quote
  #10  
September 30th, 2013, 01:32 PM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Metro Detroit
Posts: 17,411
My MIL didn't say congratulations, my FIL was ecstatic. She'll be happy but I know it's just worry and concern. She worries about us, even though she doesn't need to. My husbands brother passed in January and she's attached herself to us, which is fine, we love her dearly. I think she's just afraid something will happen to him because his brother died unexpectedly.

But I know in time she'll come around. My husband keeps saying let them feel that way, it's not their life, we're happy about our pregnancy and that's all that matters.

*hugs*
underhermantle likes this.
__________________


Expecting our 4th baby BOY due May 14th



Our Nest
Reply With Quote
  #11  
September 30th, 2013, 02:35 PM
MommaBean18's Avatar Gabriel's Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 914
That's upsetting that she was such a jerk about it. I wish things had gone down better, but you're right. It's a good thing they didn't say anything negative at least. I'm sure once this baby comes they'll love it just as much as your other kiddos
underhermantle likes this.
__________________

Gabriel Juan
Reply With Quote
  #12  
September 30th, 2013, 05:31 PM
ToMuchElmo's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: New York State
Posts: 328
I'm sorry. This will be #5 for us to. I don't expect a great reaction, but my in-laws will be much better than that. My sister on the other hand...

I don;'t look forward to telling anyone. It will be well into the new year.

I am happy for you!! Congratulations!! This will be a sweet and wonderful addition to your family!!
underhermantle likes this.
__________________
Mom to 4
Reply With Quote
  #13  
September 30th, 2013, 06:27 PM
emilyeeb's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: GA, TN
Posts: 275
My mother died when I was 8 years old, so I understand the feelings you are going through. I often wonder how different things would be if she were here. I have a great relationship with my mother in law. Don't get me wrong, she is still a mother in law. ( a little controlling and worries about my daughter when she doesn't need to. To elaborate on that, my daughter used to stand on her toes a lot before she started walking. I thought it was cute. My mother in law and her occupational therapy sister kept telling me how I needed to watch that and force her to stand flat. I frankly told them she was perfect, I wouldn't do that, and it would work itself out. Sure enough, when she started walking, she didn't stand on her toes. But there have been a few things just like that) But anyway, the bigger problem I have is with my step-mom. She can be really fake and insincere. Sometimes I feel like she acts how she thinks she is supposed to for a given situation instead of being real. So it was hard watching her "gush" over my daughter when she was born, but just long enough to take pics and post them on her fb bragging about a new grandbaby. But never visits and when she is around my daughter, she is on her ipad and barely pays attention to her. She never had kids of her own and so she really doesn't think like a mom. It makes me miss mine so badly. Sorry that you have to miss your mom too.
underhermantle likes this.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
October 1st, 2013, 07:58 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 397
Quote:
Originally Posted by emilyeeb View Post
My mother died when I was 8 years old, so I understand the feelings you are going through. I often wonder how different things would be if she were here. I have a great relationship with my mother in law. Don't get me wrong, she is still a mother in law. ( a little controlling and worries about my daughter when she doesn't need to. To elaborate on that, my daughter used to stand on her toes a lot before she started walking. I thought it was cute. My mother in law and her occupational therapy sister kept telling me how I needed to watch that and force her to stand flat. I frankly told them she was perfect, I wouldn't do that, and it would work itself out. Sure enough, when she started walking, she didn't stand on her toes. But there have been a few things just like that) But anyway, the bigger problem I have is with my step-mom. She can be really fake and insincere. Sometimes I feel like she acts how she thinks she is supposed to for a given situation instead of being real. So it was hard watching her "gush" over my daughter when she was born, but just long enough to take pics and post them on her fb bragging about a new grandbaby. But never visits and when she is around my daughter, she is on her ipad and barely pays attention to her. She never had kids of her own and so she really doesn't think like a mom. It makes me miss mine so badly. Sorry that you have to miss your mom too.
I am so sorry for the loss of your mom too...thank you so much for your words and support...I am so grateful.

Thank you ladies for your support...I feel so much better after reading all of them. Thank you for reminding me what is most important!
girlsofsummer likes this.
__________________

How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers. ~ Blessed Mother Teresa
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:36 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0