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Forum: Due Date Club of May 2014

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  • 2 Post By lovemylittlemiss
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  #1  
November 2nd, 2013, 10:31 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 270
I am 10 weeks 4 days today, and I had my first meeting with my first Dr, (I am using an ob clinic that has 4 drs and a physician's assistant. Well I met my first Dr, had a pap smear and a transvaginal ultrasound, everything was going well, I got to see my baby and it looked right on schedule developmentally. But when we met with the Dr to discuss things afterward, I made the comment I dont want an epidural, because I dont, I dont like the risks associated with it, and I dont want those drugs going through my babys system. And he told me not to be dogmatic! Im sorry but I think this was rather rude... I kind of brushed it off that day, but its been bugging me.. I honestly believe it was shock that a dr would say that to me. Im not sure why he would tell anyone that. Has anyone else had this kind of occurrence.. Is it because Im a first time mom, and they dont think I have done much research.. or is it just that they are used to pushing he epidural so much..
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  #2  
November 2nd, 2013, 11:01 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,241
Hard to say why he said that but I def. think if you didn't like it you should find a new doctor or even a midwife. I hate hate hate when doctors get on this power trip and won't respect the patient's right to refuse any and all medical treatment! It sounds like if you are dead set against an epi and don't want anyone to even mention that during the birth you should maybe think about getting a midwife. Have you looked into birth center births or home births?

And congrats btw
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  #3  
November 2nd, 2013, 11:35 AM
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Thanks, and I have looked into it but my insurance doesnt cover it. I wish I could but I cant afford to pay the kind of money for a midwife or birth center. I am going to wait, and see the other Drs, before I jump ship completely. Thank you for the support. I am hoping it is just him being so used to new moms not really knowing anything. Im not the kind of person to just rely on what the Dr says, I want different opinions and research is my friend.
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  #4  
November 2nd, 2013, 11:40 AM
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Hope you find something you're comfortable with! You can put in your birth plan that you don't want to be offered any pain meds.
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  #5  
November 2nd, 2013, 12:41 PM
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Eh I would look for a new doctor. I'm not opposed to getting an epi but I refuse to deal with doctors who push just about anything not medically necessary (and at this point he would have no medical reason to think you would need an epi). Take it from a BTDT mom - you should LOVE your OB/midwife. You are going to be dealing with this person very frequently for months in some very critical situations. You should absolutely feel like the two of you are on the same page and there should be a high level of mutual respect between you because at some point in your labor/delivery odds are high that you are going to rely on them to make critical judgment calls. Hugs!!
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  #6  
November 2nd, 2013, 07:34 PM
emilyeeb's Avatar Veteran
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Location: GA, TN
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That is frustrating. That sort of input from him was unnecessary. I don't judge people about whether they want epidurals or not but I get really annoyed when a doctor or nurse make it very apparent how they feel about taking one or not. I took a birthing class last time I was pregnant and soon after the class started, the nurse who taught, just kept bringing up how much everyone should just take the epidural and feel good right away like her personal experience. I was at a point where I felt awkward in the class. She made people raise their hands about whether they wanted one or not. I don't think all that personal opinion is needed.
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  #7  
November 2nd, 2013, 11:24 PM
RedSoxFan84's Avatar Veteran
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Maybe I'm off base here, and maybe it's because I'm a nurse, but maybe he was just saying never say never? I'm sure he's heard lots of women say absolutely no to an epidural only to change their mind when in labor. That's not to say you will, but I'm guessing that's where he was coming from. It didn't sound like he overtly was pushing it on you, at least from what I understand from what you've said in your post. I'm not saying I agree with him either, but that's how I saw it.
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  #8  
November 3rd, 2013, 03:59 AM
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Red, that is what I am hoping for. Its the main reason why I am not looking for a new dr right away. Its just the comment was unwanted and made me feel a little uneasy about that particular dr. So far I really enjoy the nurses there, but Ive only met this one dr so far. My next appt I will be meeting another, so hopefully It was just that he was saying never say never, at least I hope so.
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  #9  
November 3rd, 2013, 05:13 AM
acmd03's Avatar Lincoln's Mommy
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I hope one of the other drs is more supportive of what a mom wants. Even if he did just mean never say never, a good ob needs to be on board with what the mom wants, even if he thinks it's "dogmatic". And so you know, there's nothing crazy or dogmatic about wanting to limit exposure to drugs. Just think carefully as you see the other drs and do what you can to work with one who really listens to what you want. Because when you're in labor, it's really hard to fight for what you want and really easy to cave when the dr or nurses keep pushing interventions. An ob that knows what you want and supports it can make a huge difference.
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  #10  
November 3rd, 2013, 05:37 AM
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Thanks, and I will. I believe my next appt is with the physicians assistant, but Im not sure. Thank you for all the support.
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  #11  
November 3rd, 2013, 12:40 PM
Masesmama's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Arizona, USA
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I agree with everyone else. You deserve to feel like your opinion matters. This birth is yours, not the doctors, not the nurses, not anyone's but yours, your opinions should be first priority.
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  #12  
November 3rd, 2013, 01:09 PM
Lyndsey2013's Avatar #2 due in May
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 804
I agree with those saying you should consider looking for a new OB. Even if he did mean that some women change their minds, he put it totally inappropriately to you. In my last pregnancy, I changed OBs halfway through because I was so uncomfortable with mine. I couldn't have made a better decision. I agree with the others that trust in your OB's decision-making is a huge deal. Good luck whatever decision you make!
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