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Gender disapointment


Forum: May 2014 Playroom

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  #1  
October 21st, 2013, 02:52 PM
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I really really want a boy so this can be my last pregnancy and final child. I hope I'm not upset if I end up having another girl. Anyone else have the same feelings? I'm also worried that I wont love this child as much as I love my daughter.
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  #2  
October 21st, 2013, 03:06 PM
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I really really want a girl for the same reason. Id love to have one of each and be done.

I also know exactly what you mean about loving the next one as much. I think I will but its just so hard to imagine that I possibly could. My lil guy is 6 years old and I was a single mom for most of his life. It was just him and me for a long time, he was my side kick and best buddy. I love him so so much. I am a bit worried to love another person as much as I love him, twice as much worry as now? I dont think my heart and brain can handle it
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  #3  
October 21st, 2013, 03:13 PM
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I think this is totally normal, especially the worrying about not being able to love another child as much as your first. Everyone says that once the baby is born those worries all go out the window.

I truly believe that this baby is a boy, but at the same time I'm a bit worried about having a boy if I'm totally honest. I know there aren't big differences between boys and girls, especially at first, but my brother was really difficult for my parents to raise and at 24 continues to be very immature and reliant on my father. He has anger issues, never tried in school and constantly victimizes himself. A part of me is worried that the genes from this will trickle down to my son and we will be dealing with the same thing in 20 years. I know that is silly but I can't help but have that in the back of my mind. I also don't connect as well with men; DH is literally the only man I have had a close relationship with...I've never even been friends with a guy. That being said I'm sure our preoccupation with this sort of thing is just in our heads while we are pregnant....once the baby is born I'm pretty confident that will go out the window. It's just harder to imagine that little person while you are pregnant and knowing the gender is one of the only things you have to go on so it gets you thinking.

Hope I don't sound too weird and you don't judge me lol. I'm being brutally honest. We will love and welcome a baby of any sex but I am a bit more nervous about having a boy.
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  #4  
October 21st, 2013, 03:22 PM
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I have one girl and three boys. I was super disappointed that my second boy wasn't a girl. I was okay with my third boy a bit sad but I knew is love him as much as the rest of my kids.

I want this one to be a girl. Sure. But I think I will be okay with it being a boy. This is my last baby. Just because my husband is a jerk during pregnancies and I'm done dealing with that.

Biggest issue for us is names lol. Boy names are hard for us. Literally down to the last minute to get right. My husband wants to name a daughter after his mother. But he thinks we can't have girls lol.
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  #5  
October 21st, 2013, 04:04 PM
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I can relate completely!! I can't even imagine loving another child as much as I love my son! I actually felt guilty getting pregnant! But everyone else tells me they feared the same thing but somehow once the second one is born your heart just makes room for another!

I also am very worried I will be disappointed if this baby is not a girl :/
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  #6  
October 21st, 2013, 04:22 PM
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Okay. I'm glad I'm not the only one. I'm just gonna prepare myself just in case it's another girl.
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  #7  
October 21st, 2013, 04:31 PM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have 3 boys already, I would love to have a girl. I feel like our family needs a girl, however, if this baby is a boy, my love will be just as much. I'm sure I'll feel sad at first, but I won't let myself dwell on it.

I'm tired of everyone telling me though that it better be a girl. As if I can go in there and remove parts to make it what everyone else wants. That's getting old.
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  #8  
October 21st, 2013, 04:38 PM
Kellylovesricky's Avatar & Mikey & Isabella
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I'm so glad someone posted this. I was actually going to post about it. I am afraid if the doctor tells me I'm having a girl that I will cry. My husband knows how I feel and I'm scared he's going to instantly look at me and wonder if I will lose my composure...which I'm afraid will make me cry for sure! I don't want to look like a horrible mom! I already feel guilty for feeling so strongly against a girl! I have decided to pretend I already know I'm having a girl, pin cute girl clothes and nursery pics on Pinterest and pick out her hospital outfit now. I'm hoping that I can psyche myself into being happy...and then when I hear the news I will be happy if they say girl. Ugh still scary! Glad to know I'm not totally alone!
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  #9  
October 21st, 2013, 07:16 PM
ashleyjo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yes, we have two boys and everyone says 'Oh, I hope this is a girl' even my husband really really really wants a girl. I very much want a girl, I need a little sidekick in this house full of overly hyperactive boys! But, I know if it's another boy I'll love him just as much!
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  #10  
October 21st, 2013, 07:58 PM
mkljmom's Avatar Super Mommy
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I felt this way with #4, so much so, that I convinced myself she was a boy even after the u/s. I think itis bc my DH and his family desperately wanted a boy. (Ds is not his biologically)

I wanted to have a boy so bad that I thought she was a boy until I delivered. She is very much a girl, and not one part of me was sad or disappointed when I saw her. I loved her instantly.

This time, I feel completely as ease with whatever this little one is. It gets early old hearing all of the boy comments, but other than that, I'm good this time.
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  #11  
October 21st, 2013, 08:35 PM
bella88's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I will be disappointed at first if the baby is a girl instead of a boy. Does it mean I won't love the crap out of that kid with all of my heart? Of course not. I think gender disappointment is normal and nothing to be ashamed of. You get over it and I don't think it means you love the baby any less . I think it's awful to have people condemn you for being a bit disappointed
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  #12  
October 22nd, 2013, 08:21 AM
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This is our 5th child in the order of boy girl boy girl. I think it is normal to feel like you might not be able to love another baby as much as your other child or children but I have found that once the baby is in my arms my heart becomes so full and I fall in love all over again! I am convinced that a mothers heart always has enough love because it grows bigger with each child!
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  #13  
October 22nd, 2013, 08:30 AM
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Location: Arizona, USA
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I really want a girl, but I'm trying not to tell myself it's a girl. I have had a couple boy dreams and I already have one boy, so I'm telling myself at least I know what to expect with a boy. I have two nieces I love to pieces and get to be the 'cool aunt' that buys them gifts and glittery crap lol. My husband said its a girl because everyone in his family has had one sex then the other, there are no repeated genders on his side.. But he said two boys would be cool too because they're super into hiking and shooting and all that. I am going to try to be happy with either. I know I will love my baby no matter what even though I will be a little disappointed if it's not a girl. We aren't having any more after this one lol.
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  #14  
October 22nd, 2013, 09:22 AM
Andrea1122's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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DH and I both really want a girl, but I don't think I will be disappointed of its a boy but I know he will be. I will be a bit sad I won't get the chance to buy girlie things again but I'll get over it quick im sure.
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  #15  
October 22nd, 2013, 01:08 PM
MommaBean18's Avatar Gabe & Mason's Mommy
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I feel bad admitting it, I know I will love this baby just as much as I love my DS. But I'm sure I'll be a teeny bit disappointed. I'd really like a girl so we can have one of each and DF can finally have his little girl. I'll be happy with a boy too, but it might take me a week or two to wrap my head around.
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  #16  
October 22nd, 2013, 01:36 PM
Tree_Love's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't think I will be disappointed. I just want a pregnancy that makes it to a live birth... With that being said, I would love to have a girl and I think I will be more excited with a girl than with a boy. Mostly because I want to buy girly shtuff... Since we are finding out I know I will have time to adjust before birth. And this is probably not our last baby so that helps me not feel like "OH MY GOSH, THIS IS IT!!!"
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