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So frustrated w/ MIL

Forum: May 2014 Playroom


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November 10th, 2013, 11:25 AM
girlsofsummer's Avatar Us two became we three <3
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Pittsburgh (Go Steelers!)
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We're spending the weekend w/ my in-laws and I can't take the endless advice and stories of how she did things from my MIL. "Oh you won't want to do THAT, its too hard" or "Well let me tell you how I did it." It wouldnt bother me so much if our conversations weren't 99% about her and 1% her asking questions.

She talks about herself constantly. If I start a conversation with the idea that its a topic we can both engage in, she always turns it into a story about herself. i.e. If I say "I read a great article about breastfeeding..." she then says "Well let me tell you this 15 minute story about my coworker who you dont know and it vaguely has to do with your topic."

I try, but I dont think we'll ever be close b/c every conversation just goes back to what she thinks/feels/wants to talk about. Baby-related or not. I just want to scream "Do you always have to one-up and hijack the conversation?!'"

Thanks for letting me rant.
Mirielle Margaret born 4/24
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November 10th, 2013, 12:21 PM
Kellylovesricky's Avatar & Mikey & Isabella
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 764
Lol I definitely know people like that. Very frustrating for sure!

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November 10th, 2013, 12:30 PM
mkljmom's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 647
sounds just like my MIL and my grandma. I love them both but it is pointless to try and have any type of conversation with them without it turning around to them! There is no way I could tolerate either for an entire weekend, especially while I'm pregnant!
wife to Richard
Mommy to Max 9/21/99, Lucy 8/9/05, Kirby 7/18/07, Jaycie 2/11/09, and expecting baby #5 5/6/14
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November 10th, 2013, 12:36 PM
bella88's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 4,058
Haha sounds very irritating! It's sure hard to keep the feeling to yourself!

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November 10th, 2013, 01:30 PM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Metro Detroit
Posts: 17,592
It might sound horrible, but I'd probably start tuning her out. Being in that one sided conversation gets old! I feel your pain.

Killian Rivers born April 17th at 36 weeks

Killian's Birth Story
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November 10th, 2013, 01:48 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 4,767
Ah yes, one of the many reasons I will never be particularly close to my MIL (although her mother is even worse). Every conversation ends up with me smiling through clenched teeth You will find visits a little easier once kiddos are involved. Then MIL plays with kiddo and you go get a pedicure and everyone is happy

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November 10th, 2013, 02:34 PM
Masesmama's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 439
My step grandmother in law is that way. She's like 20 years younger than my husband's grandfather so she's only in her 50's. It is SO annoying. I feel your pain. It's even more annoying because she never had children of her own and I'm like -___- you're really giving me advice right now?
Mommy to Mason, Jan. 2010

Expecting Baby Boy #2!

Due May 12, 2014!

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November 10th, 2013, 03:15 PM
Nel's Avatar
Nel Nel is offline
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I am assuming she is just very overly excited to have a chance to bond with you and wants to feel a part of what is going on

Good for you for putting on a brave face

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November 10th, 2013, 03:35 PM
RedSoxFan84's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 453
Honestly, my own mother is like that, lol. It makes me so mad. If I am really worried about something and I call her to get advice, she always changes it to be about her and something she is dealing with. Sometimes I will try to ask her a couple of times about my situation, to get her back on track. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It is beyond frustrating and I just prepare myself before I talk with her that it's going to happen. She can be so selfish!

Hang in there and just keep your distance as much as you can, that's what I try and do.

- Katie

Thanks Vicki... for my beautiful siggy!
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November 10th, 2013, 05:43 PM
girlsofsummer's Avatar Us two became we three <3
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Location: Pittsburgh (Go Steelers!)
Posts: 2,366
She isn't even 50 yet (DH was an accident when she was a teen). She keeps pushing everything from names to a 60-year-old bassinet on me. I am a very firm person and usually cut her off, stop making eye contact or say no and move on. She just pushes and pushes.

The newest thing she wouldnt drop: A family wedding in Alaska in early July. We live in PENNSYLVANIA. She cant understand why taking an 6 week old on a 10+ hour journey to a semi-remote part of Alaska is something I'm not even willing to consider.
Mirielle Margaret born 4/24
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November 10th, 2013, 06:05 PM
ToMuchElmo's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: New York State
Posts: 336

My husband can be like that. I tune him out or just start talking about something totally unrelated over him. He now gets the point when I start doing that.

However, sometimes I catch myself doing that and have to stop myself with other people and apologize....guess it's rubbing off on me.
Mom to 5
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November 11th, 2013, 02:09 PM
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: NYC area
Posts: 268
I know how you feel about mother in-laws. Mine is overbearing and keeps thinking everything I do is wrong. She actually said I should avoid organic food while pregnant because it's more unhealthy! I've never heard of such a thing. So I guess that means I'm better off buying pesticide tomatoes at the store vs. from our own garden? lol, she's laid off a little bit though. I think she was noticing how stressed she was making me.

It's ironic that my own mom is barely involved in my pregnancy; yet my MIL is way too involved.

Last edited by Rachael84; November 11th, 2013 at 02:11 PM.
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November 11th, 2013, 04:07 PM
LUSHaye's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 992
I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. I like to think there's good intentions behind it...or they could be trying to live vicariously through you.
SO's mom asks a lot of questions rather than give advice since she adopted SO. So I'll probably need her advice more when bun is here. But my mom...haha. We're quite sure she was going through the Empty Nester's Syndrome. She is reacting in a way that, having known her my entire life, just seems so weird! All involved and excited...it's a bit of a shocker. She's been limiting her advice, as she always has, unless I ask. But I did make it fairly clear that I didn't want advice coming from every angle.
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November 13th, 2013, 12:10 PM
~mama2monkeys~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have one of those too :/ It's gotten easier to deal with..... over the past 15 years!
I'm Carrie, wife to Micah (10/11/03) and mommy to 4 little monkeys! Jonah (10/08/04) Bella Kate (04-05-07) Finlay (09-17-09) Abram (10-28-11)and Baby #5, Baby Boy, Due May 2014!

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