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Forum: May 2014 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By *CAMM*
  • 3 Post By MelChicago

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December 8th, 2013, 06:09 PM
girlsofsummer's Avatar Us two became we three <3
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Pittsburgh (Go Steelers!)
Posts: 2,366
...to have a big discussion with my boss. So he has known since 10 weeks that I was
pregnant. But he's been saying some really out of touch things that makes me nervous. If you recall, I work at a non-profit, there are like 10-15 of us including interns that work there. I am the only one who can do my job.

Big issue: One of the major events I do is mid/end of June. When I said to him that "oh hey, looks like we're going to have to discuss when the new event date is" he looked at me like, "What are you talking about?" and said something to the extent of the event needing to be at the same time.

This event takes months of planning. From about May 1 until the end of June, everything else at work falls to the wayside for me priority-wise. There is literally no one else who can do this event but me (I pretty much created it).

He also doesn't know that I'll be requesting to go from full-time to part-time with some additional at-home hours (BIGGER issue). My game plan is to suggest that he hires and part-timer with the remainder of my hours/pay.

I want to take the 6 weeks of paid maternity, plus 2 weeks of paid sick/vacay time. If needed I won't hesitate to add on a month of short-term disability.

I'm really nervous now based on his responses and clueless-ness that he is not going to take all of this well. I know he can't fire me and legally I'm entitled to 12 weeks of mat time, but I suspect he expects me to plan this event while on mat leave. And now it's making me even MORE nervous about asking about the p/t thing....

So my question: When would you have both of these discussions? I don't want to have either of them too soon, but the event planning begins pretty early on. Sorry this is so long, but I'm having tons of anxiety about this whole situation, and I have to work at least part-time, financially-speaking.
Mirielle Margaret born 4/24

Last edited by girlsofsummer; December 8th, 2013 at 06:11 PM.
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December 8th, 2013, 06:14 PM
*CAMM*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 8,635
Sooner is better IMO. I would sit down with him after the holidays and let him know what your plans are.
Lyndsey2013 likes this.

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December 8th, 2013, 06:15 PM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Metro Detroit
Posts: 17,999
Oh wow, what a tough situation to be in. I'm sorry you're even having to ask this question.

I honestly wish I could offer up some advice, but i don't know. I'd maybe wait till after the new year, then start bringing it up and having the big discussion. Give him the time to figure it out, be firm, stand your ground and know your rights. It sounds like you already do, but maybe have them right there with you so you can show him, in case he tries to use it against you? I would be very upset if my boss thinks I'd take my time of becoming a new mom, adjusting to this new big role in my life and still focusing on work with such a big event like that.

I hope it goes well for you. I also hope someone can offer some better insight than I can. *hugs*
Marisa (29) married to J (34), mama to G (9), D (6), B (4) and K (1).
Expecting our 5th birdie a girl in Jan 2016!
But delivering in early December 2015.
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December 8th, 2013, 06:35 PM
Just keep breathing.
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 2,047
I actually just told my boss this past Friday (I also work at a nfp). I too have a lot that goes on in June, related to the end of the school year, which will need coverage. Before I told him, I prepared a spreadsheet with three columns- Dates, Tasks, and Staff/Departments. I began with April and listed all the tasks on which I would be working ahead, and the things my replacement would need to be learning at that time. The Staff/Depts column listed other people in the organization who would need to be involved (eg. for a grant report, they need to coordinate with Development & Finance. For the new brochure, they need to work with Marketing). I continued with tasks over the summer, through August when I plan to return. I wasn't super-detailed- just listed basic tasks & activities and will flesh out later once we've identified a replacement.

You know your job best, and I think if you can take the initiative to outline the tasks and deadlines, it'll help your boss and probably impress him with how organized you are. This in turn will help you as you hope to transition to part-time.

And speaking of that, I personally would NOT tell him you plan to go part time until you are ready to return after leave. Legally you don't have to do so. The only implication would be if your company pays health insurance for you- unless they're also offered to part-timers you may have to pay the company back. But again, that's not something you have to discuss in advance.
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December 9th, 2013, 01:16 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,387
I think the above sounds great! I would tell him about the part time sooner rather than last minute though...if I was an employer I would be more upset if I had to find someone last minute. Then he would have some time to find someone and perhaps you could be involved in the process; since you would be working with them you obviously want someone that is organized and competent.

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December 9th, 2013, 01:33 AM
anhoyle's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,222
Be careful about the 12 weeks look up the laws in your area. FMLA only applies if the business has 50 or more employees. it all depends on your companies policy. I agree with the other ladies. Wait until after the holidays but bring it up sooner than later so a plan can be made.


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December 9th, 2013, 07:42 AM
girlsofsummer's Avatar Us two became we three <3
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Pittsburgh (Go Steelers!)
Posts: 2,366
You know your job best, and I think if you can take the initiative to outline the tasks and deadlines, it'll help your boss and probably impress him with how organized you are. This in turn will help you as you hope to transition to part-time.
Thank you, Mel. Very good thoughts.

Unfortunately I will have to tell him before I go on leave about moving to part-time, for one because my replacement will have to be in place, and two, because I have another event at the end of September that I need to start working on in July.

But things are such a cluster right now, my mom recently told me that she can't retire in July and that it will be later in the fall. I'm not sure what we're going to do.

I have so much anxiety about this right now DH just keeps saying it'll all work out, but I'm a planner, and he is not.
Mirielle Margaret born 4/24
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December 9th, 2013, 08:03 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Northwest Indiana
Posts: 832
Good advice from the ladies!!! Good luck
Kristina (34) David (34)~Dealing with Severe MFI (Low T, Low TSH, Thyroid Cancer Survivor)
TTC#1 for 1 1/2 years~ DS, DJ (3) Conceived naturally using acupuncture and herbs
TTC #2 for 1 1/2 yrs~DH(3 mths on Clomid&Olive Leaf Extract)
Our 1st Clomid & TI cycle August 2013 -BFP on 9/08/13!!!!!!!!

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December 9th, 2013, 03:15 PM
Nel's Avatar
Nel Nel is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,019
If you are already planning for work that will be happening in May I would go to him next time that comes up or the next time you are having to deal with that.

I have work coming up that would have to have me traveling across country starting in Feb and well... obviously thats not happening. I went to my boss and asked what their plan was for hiring and training someone new to handle this stuff. I got " OH YA, I guess you cant fly then, I didnt think of that". I gave them my suggested time lines and left it at that.

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December 9th, 2013, 04:07 PM
MommaBean18's Avatar Gabe & Mason's Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,042
I'd probably bring it up sooner rather than later. That way he has more time to think it over and find that part timer to do the other half of the job. Plus, if he hires someone just a bit before you go on maternity leave, you can show them how to do the planning for the big event instead of leaving them in a rut.

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