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I had a pretty bad shock the other day.
I was getting ready for my shower and just ended up staring at myself. My boobs are so different (at least to me). I mean...I've never really had the feeling of my boobs touching my torso but now they are (without a bra) and they get sweaty and they look droopy. It's like they're pointing to the ground saying 'That's where we're headed, folks!'
And then my belly...maybe I had just eaten a lot that day but it looked enormous. And being someone that had a long period of being underweight and a brush with bulimia, that's a scary thing. After ten minutes or so of just freaking out and staring at myself, I had to turn the shower off and went to whine to DF. I was almost in tears.
He absolutely loves the way my body looks with all these changes, bless his heart. Maybe he's just smart and doesn't say anything.
I thought I had been doing good with paying attention to my body, but it's different when you see it all in one go instead of, oh these are my boobs, oh this is my belly.
It can be hard the first time. It really is a shock.
My whole body changed drastically and it was changed forever. I wouldnt change it...but it doesnt mean I have to like it! I have stretch marks all over my belly (didnt get a single one until I was 6 months with my son..and then BOOM I look like a freaking tiger...)
I really do love how I look pregnant though...I love the round belly and what it means..but I dont like how I look afterwards. It takes awhile for my body to come back to reality. I have no shame in saying I 100% plan on getting a tummy tuck after this baby...my abs are shot and my belly is forever striped.
It sounds like your DF is an amazing support system. I can understand why you're feeling the way you are, with your past struggles. Its very understandable. I personally would just keep reminding myself there is a wonderful reason on why things are changing the way they are. That's me though, I cannot and would not speak for you on how you feel.
From what you've posted, you are beautiful! It's okay to feel this way, I didn't have your past and I still had a very hard time with my body changing with my oldest and now like CAMM, I love my body when I'm pregnant, I feel more comfortable in my skin pregnant. It's the only time I actually am confident in myself.
I had a moment just like that the first time. I thought I saw some stretch marks. I hadnt even been worried about them. I was getting dressed and just happened to look in the mirror... I stood there for a few minutes taking it in and just cried. I am NOT a crier and that is definitely not something I normally would cry about but ... so many things changed so fast and that was just the breaking point.
Things never go back to the way they were but that doesnt mean they wont be good/nice again
It can be hard when it's your first time to see your body changing, especially with your past, but it's growing a beautiful life in there!
Personally, I am having a hard time because I am getting bigger way faster and the swelling has started so I have big weight swings and I feel humongous! DH is not affectionate or rubbing the belly or really connecting to this pregnancy so much IMO, so that's not helping. All he says when I get upset about it is that I don't look huge and that I was way bigger with DD. Gee thanks! I am still only halfway there!
Man, is it bad that it's my third time, I've never had any eating disorders (but always struggled with my body image), and I feel like this almost daily??? I just feel so...fat and uncomfortable and blah. And, it's not like I can do much about it while still dealing with nausea daily! I eat what I can handle and get up and about as much as I can stand.
Hang in there and hugs. I know just how you feel. But- you will get your body back. It may not be the exact same but, I don't think that's as hard to accept once the baby is here and at least things return to semi-normal proportions and, on the subject of boobs- I'm totally lopsided and it has nothing to do with pregnancy (though I'm sure that hasn't made it better). One is perky-Ish and the other one I'm going to be tucking into my underwear soon lol thank goodness for push up bras (they're really not that bad but you know how it is).
Awwww! I hope that you find positivity in this situation as you are carrying a baby and your body is not yours right now.
I have had eating disorders in the past, but it has not affected me during pregnancy. I have fully accepted the fact that my baby is getting bigger and I will continue to as well. WHen I hear his heartbeat and feel his kicks IDC about things like weight etc. However, I do struggle with "thoughts" of how my body will be after giving birth, but I try not to obsess. So I do understand where you are coming from. Just try to look at the bigger picture, because the baby is all worth it
My shock moment was probably the size of my BBs and how dark my nipples have gotten! Again - DH loves them, LOL so I learned to accept it.