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Ughhh soo rude!!

Forum: May 2014 Playroom


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March 4th, 2014, 04:43 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,605
No the last three days I have gotten three comments that I just can not shake! I don't mind the oh you look huge ect. I do look huge but it's all baby. What does bother me is

Oh is baby a boy or girl (I always have my 18 month old ds with me) and I say boy and the response

"Oh maybe next time you will get your girl.."

Really?!?? I love my son and I'm thrilled to be having another son I know what to expect boys are fun!! It also throws salt in the wound that this may be our last baby due to my increasingly worse gestational diabetes.

Or the other one that really bothers me is

"Oh he is only 18 months old and you are due in a little over two months?!?"

Yes I am and me and hubby are happy with our child spacing we always wanted our babies about 2 years apart thanks!

One more is insinuating this baby was a oops baby ughh leave me alone!! My sons are a blessing and this one was planned thank you very much!! Ods was a surprise but also was very much wanted

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March 4th, 2014, 06:20 AM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Metro Detroit
Posts: 17,591
I get the "Oh, wish he was a girl?" comments a lot, I used to get the "better luck next time!" or "maybe you'll get your girl next time" but now that I'm on #4, people think it's okay to hint they think we should stop.

In Lynnii's post the other day, I found both comments to be rude. Why? Because nobody should have any right to say anything to a pregnant women, or honestly, a person all together. Filters come in handy, common sense really does. Sadly, today's society lacks both of those and people think it is okay to give their unwanted opinion without being asked. It just bothers me so much people feel it's okay!

I tend to be a jerk back when these type of comments happen. I'm sorry you're getting this a lot. I'd like to say it gets better, but it hasn't for me. I get the "Wow, you have your handsful!" I'm waiting for when baby is here to get the "Are they all yours?"
anjewellove and MommaBean18 like this.

Killian Rivers born April 17th at 36 weeks

Killian's Birth Story
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March 4th, 2014, 06:49 AM
girlsofsummer's Avatar Us two became we three <3
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Pittsburgh (Go Steelers!)
Posts: 2,366
People are stupid. And pregnancy hormones/rage don't make these already rude comments any easier to deal with!
emilyeeb likes this.
Mirielle Margaret born 4/24
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March 4th, 2014, 06:55 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 4,767
Ah yes we get the two boys comments all.the.time. Depending on my mood (and how much I like the person) I just laugh it off or respond that actually after 3+ years of infertility/miscarriages I'm just happy this baby is alive and by all accounts healthy at this point. The comments I got while dealing with infertility were actually worse so I kind of ran out of tolerance for people a few years ago
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March 4th, 2014, 07:58 AM
mommy2b43's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,314
I cannot tell you how many times, while out with my two beautiful daughters, I got asked "you going to try for a boy?" I always responded with "no, I'm going to try for another girl"...now, I haven't got any rude comments since getting pregnant but I think that's because I didn't announce until after we already knew it was a boy and I never leave the house. But, seriously, I would get asked at least once a week about trying for a boy- by complete strangers. Completely randomly. ***?? Did I invite you into my bedroom/marriage/family???? Siblings of the same gender are awesome. To be honest, this being my third and all of a sudden a different gender freaks me out a little. That said, I'm happy my baby is who he is, I'm happy that so far all indications are that he's healthy and that's really all that matters to me!!! This is seriously a huge pet peeve of mine- you don't get to choose the gender of your baby and no one should insinuate that the gender you're getting is anything other than what you want because it may be true but god knows no mother is going to admit that to a perfect stranger!!!
emilyeeb likes this.
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March 4th, 2014, 10:18 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,387
Grrr I'm pissed for you!! I'm waiting to get comments about having 2 girls and trying for a boy! I also think it's pretty cool to have 2 kids of the same sex and neither DH or myself is bothered that we are due with another girl. I think when it comes up I will just say that we are happy having 2 girls. It would really hurt my feelings if people (other men I imagine) "pity" DH for being in a house full of women...I hope that doesn't happen.

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March 4th, 2014, 11:03 AM
anjewellove's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 838
If you have children all of one gender you're going to get the comments like that. I just shrug and say no we'd be ecstatic for a third boy!I also think people say "you have your hands full" just to say it. I've gotten that comment while out with just one of my boys and he was sitting quietly in a cart while I was shopping...

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March 4th, 2014, 11:19 AM
Urchin's Avatar Loving every minute.
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Atlantic Canada
Posts: 8,150
I'm a lurker, but I just wanted to chime in.

First of all, I am so sorry you have to deal with stupid people. Stupid seems to be magnetically attracted to pregnant women.

Secondly, I feel your pain in regards to the gender comments. In DH's family, there's been no girls in 78 years...until my DD was born. When we found out she was a girl, you would have thought they'd be excited, but no, my own inlaws said things like, "we'll have to send her back" and "next time, you'll have to try for a boy." It was so hurtful. Like, does my little girl not matter? Of course, now they love her to bits and wouldn't take anyone else over her, but those comments still stick with me.

Fast forward to now, and we're expecting baby #2. The "it better be a boy" comments have already started. My FIL is already telling people he has a grandson on the way, and I'm only 11 weeks along! I'm not even finding the gender out this time, until birth. I've flat out told them, that I don't care if it is a boy or a girl. Even DH isn't too concerned. I especially get a kick out of it when my DD tells them she wants a baby sister...but I'm evil like that.

I just don't know why think that pregnancy = fair game to say things without thinking. It's one of the most emotional times in a person's life... but people say the worst things!!
Thank-you Bokkechick for the beautiful siggy!

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March 4th, 2014, 01:04 PM
emilyeeb's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: GA, TN
Posts: 275
SO frustrating that a complete stranger feels that their words are just soooo important to say to you. Isn't it just way easier to just keep your mouth shut about what disappointment you assume someone else, that you do not know, must be facing?

Thank you for my siggy Jaidynsmum!

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March 4th, 2014, 05:51 PM
Tree_Love's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Central California
Posts: 3,088
ARGH! What is with people? They are so rude. Like why do people lose their filters around a pregnant woman? Just cause my belly is sticking out doesn't mean your random thoughts can. Jerks.

Elan Dakota 7/28/2012
Paxx Tarlow & Sage Finley 10/20/2012
Rhys Caelan 5/3/2013

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March 5th, 2014, 05:03 AM
Kellylovesricky's Avatar & Mikey & Isabella
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 764
I was really hoping for another boy this time, whenever anyone would ask and I'd say that ALL of them would say well I hope you have a girl! It got to the point I was hoping for a boy out of spite as well lol. Then she turns out to be a girl and I swear I can't tell you how many I told you so's I got! Really? Lol

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March 5th, 2014, 09:00 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: North Texas
Posts: 705
Playing devil's advocate....some people just don't know a good way to respond, especially to gender it seems. I feel like some people would just say "still no girl/boy. are you going to keep trying?" as a generic response. Granted, they should know better than to say some things to a hormonal pregnant woman.

Lucas Xavier is here! Born 4/24/2014 at 10:47pm
7 pounds 6 ounces
20.5 inches long

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