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postpartum help


Forum: May 2014 Playroom

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  #1  
March 27th, 2014, 04:42 PM
anjewellove's Avatar Super Mommy
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How long will your SOs/DHs stay home on paternity leave?
Who has somebody helping out? Who? For how long?

did you get postpartum help with your others after they were born?
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  #2  
March 27th, 2014, 05:16 PM
mommy2b43's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Undetermined but probably not long. His job was supposed to be more stable by this point but he's still working two jobs basically (sales and IT contracting) and the contract work is demanding- there's always an "emergency" that needs to be taken care of. So, he'll be at the hospital but may leave if he has an "emergency" (the quotes are because I think it's ridiculous and he doesn't get paid enough or consistently on time to take care of emergencies on family time!!). Anyway, long story short, I will probably be on my own within days. My parents live close but probably will not do more than bring dinner, have an occasional stop by and maybe take my older girls for a day or two. No other help for me- I'm feeling bitter today lol

I got about the same amount of help my other two times as I expect to get this time. With my first, dh left me alone in the hospital on and off and took exactly one day off. With dd2, he left me in the hospital once to "take care of the animals" but really because he had stuff he wanted to do outside the hospital (bc I enjoy being stuck there for 3 days lol). This time, I'm sure he'll end up having to leave for one reason or another even though hospitals give me super anxiety!!! With dd2, after we left the hospital, dd1 got a horrid uti and he didn't even take time off for that so I had a one week old and a horribly sick 3 year old to drag around to appointments and stuff all while struggling miserably with breastfeeding. I am not at all looking forward to this...
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  #3  
March 27th, 2014, 05:19 PM
inyourhonor's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We believe it's a week, we aren't 100% sure though. I'll have both sets of grandparents to help out after he goes back. Till I can get back into the usual routine. But it won't last long, I'll want to do it myself as soon as I can.
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  #4  
March 27th, 2014, 05:39 PM
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DH will be off for one week then I am on my on. We have no family here and DH will be traveling during the week the entire month of June so.....yeah.
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  #5  
March 27th, 2014, 05:58 PM
Londons Butterfly's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My husband gets 10 days paternity leave once baby is born. If he has leave saved and they approve he can take more. I'll have all of my older kids home. My 12 and 10 year olds can help out with everything. I won't be having any other help from anyone else.
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  #6  
March 27th, 2014, 06:36 PM
acmd03's Avatar Lincoln's Mommy
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I think dh said he has 4 vacation days at this point. He may be able to use some from his next round (he earns a week for every so many hours worked and should be getting more in mid-May). So if we have our scheduled c-section on Friday, he'll hopefully be able to be off through the next Thursday, or even have that whole week off. After he goes back, my parents live nearby and will come to help during the day for a couple weeks, if I have the c-section.
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  #7  
March 27th, 2014, 07:19 PM
RedSoxFan84's Avatar Veteran
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DH requested 2 weeks vacation a couple days after my EDD so hopefully it works out, he's entitled to one day paternity leave, how ridiculous is that!? My mom is going to come down, but I hope she helps rather than being a pain in my ***, like usual...
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  #8  
March 27th, 2014, 07:21 PM
anjewellove's Avatar Super Mommy
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DH might take 2 days off but no more. Not sure if he's working summer school yet so he may have the summer off to bond with baby.

I won't have help. But im really hoping my sisters come over & make dinner a few nights like they did with #2!

I didn't have any help with my first 2 either.

With #1 I really got depressed about it. My mom practically lived at sister #1s house for 2 weeks when she had her 1st baby & sister #2 lived with her when shehad her 1st. She came over once a week for 15 minutes when I had my first! But I did fine.

The transition from 1 to 2 was a challenge the 1st 2 weeks but after that it was pretty smooth, hoping for the same with 3 haha
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Last edited by anjewellove; March 27th, 2014 at 07:23 PM.
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  #9  
March 28th, 2014, 05:42 AM
StilettoGirlMama's Avatar Veteran
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DH has about 6 weeks of PTO right now so he is going to take some of that time off. Plus he has FMLA so he can be with me as needed. My mother also req the week of my due date - but I don't think I'm going to make it. LOL
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  #10  
March 28th, 2014, 07:50 AM
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DH can get up to a week and a half off so that's what hes planning. After that Im sure I could ask my mom.....with my last LO I actually preferred being on my own. DH only had a day or two off then I was solo. It was really nice to be able to relax and get used to having baby around. Im naturally anti-social lol.
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  #11  
March 28th, 2014, 07:58 AM
girlsofsummer's Avatar Us two became we three <3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedSoxFan84 View Post
DH requested 2 weeks vacation a couple days after my EDD so hopefully it works out, he's entitled to one day paternity leave, how ridiculous is that!?
Mine gets 1 freakin' day, too. Isn't it more like a slap in the face than anything else? Ridiculous.

So DH will take an additional week off, and my mom is graciously coming whenever we need her to be there. It'd be nice if she came the second week when Ty goes back to work.

My MIL will be here at some point, too, although I hope she also is a help and not just coming down so that my SIL can go shopping.
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  #12  
March 28th, 2014, 10:24 AM
peace.love.audrey's Avatar Twins? Pinch me!
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It really just depends where my DH is at in his schedule but he will probably take a week off. Bio dad gets 8 weeks of paternity leave...8 weeks! So he will be helping out quite a bit. Luckily my DH only works 11 days a month (24 hour shifts) also and some of his union duties will be over soon. My mom and dad will help out also as needed. I had very little help after DD was born so this will be a nice change.
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  #13  
March 28th, 2014, 11:04 AM
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DH teaches at the University of Applied Sciences in town so his schedule is pretty flexible. He'll still teach his classes but should have quite a bit of time at home since he doesn't work a 9-5 kind of job. He can work/prepare when she is sleeping fort he most part. I will probably be the one getting up at night with her. He could choose to take paternity leave for a year or so but we are choosing the cash pay out instead (about 4,800 dollars). I think the gov't would pay X percent of his income for that year or something instead of the cash pay out but he just started there and wants to keep working on his career (which is fine by me). My best good friend will be here for 10 days starting at the beginning of May so that will also be a big help! If baby is born before she gets here MIL will watch DD and possibly stay for a few days while I'm in the hospital to help out with her. When I had DD MIL came down to stay for a few days/take care of our dog while I was in L&D...she ended up staying a few days longer but let's just say I could have done without that
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  #14  
March 28th, 2014, 07:40 PM
MommaBean18's Avatar Gabe & Mason's Mommy
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DF says he has 5 days of Paternity Leave, but he's not sure if he'll be able to take them all in a row :/My mom lives about ten minutes away, so she'll probably help out a bit. She did with DS.
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  #15  
March 28th, 2014, 08:01 PM
bella88's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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DH is taking about a fortnight off from when baby is born but will have to head back to work after that. My sisters talk about coming to help but I'll believe it when it happens. I imagine I will be on my own once DH goes back to work.
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  #16  
March 29th, 2014, 04:25 AM
BB2014's Avatar Super Mommy
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How long will your SOs/DHs stay home on paternity leave? He only has a few days of comp. time and he doesn't have any vacation days built up right now- Boo!
Who has somebody helping out? Who? For how long? My mom is going to come down for 2 weeks when the time comes.

did you get postpartum help with your others after they were born? I was on bed rest for a week last time, my mom came down for a week and then I had him, then she stayed for 2 more weeks. She used FMLA because I had a doctor's note saying I was on bed rest.
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  #17  
March 29th, 2014, 07:18 AM
LUSHaye's Avatar Super Mommy
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I don't really think I'll have anyone helping out. The only thing I had planned for, sort of, was hiring a part time maid just to help keep things straightened up. And maybe a dog walker. But other than that, it's just going to be me. I guess my sister could help out, but I'm going to be breastfeeding so it's not like she could take bun for half a day or something, at least until my supply gets good enough for pumping extra. DF is getting...two weeks I think for paternity leave and then I think he's taking his other two weeks of vacation so he'll have a month off. But that's getting added on after I finish my leave. And the whole point of THAT is so I can ease back into working AND we don't have to pay for daycare anytime soon.
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  #18  
March 29th, 2014, 08:10 AM
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My husband is in school and only works on the weekends. The timing of the baby will e great bc my husband will be on his summer break. I think he is planning on taking an online class, but at least he will still be at home for it. My parents live pretty close, they'll come if I ask, but they aren't real good at just offering to help. Maybe that'll be different with the first grand baby. My best friend also lives 2 blocks away and is also a teacher so she will have the summer off too. I'll probably use her a lot for help bc she lives so close and has younger kids so is probably more up to date on things than my mom. And I don't know what the heck to do with a newborn!
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  #19  
March 29th, 2014, 10:59 AM
Lyndsey2013's Avatar Mom to 2 + 3
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I am so glad to hear I am not the only one with no help from SO! I was super shocked when we had my first (and his fourth) at how little he did. He has said for this one that he will make sure to take off for his birth but that's it. He's using his new job as an excuse, but he doesn't really do anything to help out with basic care of our toddler, much less when she was a newborn. I'm really worried about having a newborn and one-year old too - just holding our 5 year old she freaked out today that it wasn't her.

Thankfully my mom is going to come for a week to help. I am looking forward to her help MUCH more than the last time, as the first kid seems easy compared to 2 little ones (and 3 bigger ones). Ugh.
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  #20  
March 29th, 2014, 03:54 PM
anjewellove's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyndsey2013 View Post
I am so glad to hear I am not the only one with no help from SO! I was super shocked when we had my first (and his fourth) at how little he did.
My DH will be at work during the day but helps 100% when he gets home. I'm sure he'll do just like he did when #2 arrived. He was on diaper duty when he got home, took our oldest to the park, made dinner, cleaned the house if I didn't get to it that day, etc.

This time he's super excited because I'm going on an over night trip with my sisters sometime in July without the kids. He said "maybe I'll actually get some time with this baby! You hogged YDS!" And I so did! I love my baby time! I just can't get enough and it goes by so fast!
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