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  #1  
July 21st, 2009, 07:19 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 2,684
I have never posted on this section before but I am only just returning to the board and thought I would try to post here.

Feb. 5 2009 I gave birth to my beautiful little twin boys. They were due in April but decided to make an early entry. THings were rough for a bit but they made it through the nicu and both were finally home. April 2 2009 I woke up to my son dante lying dead in my arms. So far he is being classified as a SUDs death. We are waiting for the toxicology report to come back before we get an official cause of death but he will be likely classified SIDs or SUDs

everyday seems to be harder then the day before. Just when I think I am starting to deal I begin feeling worse. I take joy in my baby Declan that he is still here, but everytime I look at him I still see Dante, I still wish there was two and I can't fully accept that Dante is really gone.

I feel sick most of the time, I am always fighting back tears, and reviewing everything in my head. I try to put on a smile and act as normal as possible because i have three other beautiful children who need my attention but inside I often feel empty.
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  #2  
July 21st, 2009, 08:06 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Grand Rapids Michigan United States
Posts: 2,890
Hugs! I had identical twin girls born at 28 weeks. I lost Madison due to complications from a Diaphragmatic Hernia. McKenzie is now 21 months old. I know how you feel when you look at the one thinking their should be two. I get a lot of people that think I should be happy with my one healthy baby. I figure they just do not understand what it is like to give birth to two and only have one. Stay strong!
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  #3  
July 22nd, 2009, 06:05 AM
Drakesmommy's Avatar My rainbow Twins are here
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 631
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I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Dante. It's sad that we have to welcome you to this board but the ladies on this board are amazing women. We are always here if you ever need anything, a hug, a shoulder to cry on or just to vent.
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  #4  
July 23rd, 2009, 03:28 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 9,769
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Dante
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  #5  
July 24th, 2009, 12:40 AM
Delekatala's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Rhode Island
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daisy616 View Post
Hugs! I had identical twin girls born at 28 weeks. I lost Madison due to complications from a Diaphragmatic Hernia. McKenzie is now 21 months old. I know how you feel when you look at the one thinking their should be two. I get a lot of people that think I should be happy with my one healthy baby. I figure they just do not understand what it is like to give birth to two and only have one. Stay strong!
Ditto! It is ok to feel the way you do. For a while I actually got angry about the attention Lillian got. Like everyone just forgot there were two. And there was a stage where she looked like genevive a lot, and that made it very hard for me. She has grown out of it now though. Once you have two babies, one just isn't enough.
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  #6  
July 24th, 2009, 03:19 PM
cam & sami's mom's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Guysville, Ohio
Posts: 681
I am so sorry for your loss.
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