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I never dreamt that the loss of Rnnon would hurt worse after having another baby.....
We had Mia in December and I love her to pieces, but all I can think about lately is that Rennon never got the chance to grow out of his baby clothes, he never got to try to to drink from a bottle...... I have been gathering up Mia's too small clothes and it it hurts soo bad I try to be strong but Mother's Day really started it all for me... it will 3 years on the 26th od this month and it still feels like yesterday.
Sorry for the crying fir but I feel like the worst Mum right now, I should be over the moon with this rainbow baby and having her be so strong ( she was a 5 week preemie and is doing great). But the past few days I catch myself crying over little things and my dh doesnt understand at all.
I know I will never be over losing him and I know nothing will take away this pain, I just havent felt this sad about losing him in some time, and now looking at a picture of him brings me to tears and I always think of the what if's
I am so sorry about all your losses, I just lost my baby boy on April 14 2010 11 hours after I gave birth to him he passed away. the first time i held him was when he died in my arms. I don't think this pain will ever go away . I have a 5 year old and I look at him and feel so ashamed so angry I couldn't give him a healthy baby brother and i get so mad at my self. How do you ever get over the pain the what if's the what did I do so wrong to have my baby taken away from me???