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I often have people say to me wow mom of three you are really busy. Or how many kids do you have? I feel like I should say no I have 4 or something along that line but I dont want to make people uncomfortable all the time and I have learned in the past that when I mention 4 kids or mention Dante people ask more questions then get uncomfortable once they learn he is dead.
So what do you say when refering to how many children you have?
I hate that question. I usually say two. McKenzie had a identical twin sister Madison. she passed away at 5 months old due to her being born with a Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia and being born premature. I know it makes people uncomfortable but it also gets the word out about CDH.
For the most part I tell them I have two because, in my opinion, I do. If it's a random stranger that I'll never see again I just be as vague as possible without lying if they probe for details. If it's someone I'll know I'm going to get to know (like another wife from my husband's work) I'll tell them about Grace and explain the situation. I feel that because my husband and I are so open about our journey with our daughter more people are now educated about her condition and other neural tube defects as well.
If I were you, just answer how you feel comfortable. There is no right or wrong answer to this.
Normally I saw three, the girl is 20, the boy is 19 and Baby would have been 18. Unless asked to clarify, I don't. Sometimes it's just easier to not have to explain everything, plus it still makes me cry. We lost Baby in 2010, he was 15 1/2 years old, I will not deny his existence but I don't like crying in front of everyone either.