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It seems to hurt the most on holidays, this year is really difficult. My youngest grandchild will be experiencing her first christmas and I feel like we should do something for her sake. We stopped celebrating holidays After Baby died. I know, I know he was a bit old(15 1/2) to still be calling him Baby but since he never objected I never broke that habit. I'm torn between wanting to ignore the holidays and making a big deal for granddaughter. This just sucks, it feels disloyal to Baby to celebrate without him but it feels like we are cheating G.D. if we don't. She deserves all the fun things of childhood.
Duct tape is like the Force; it has a light side and a dark side and holds the universe together.
I find it so hard to know what to do. I have other children at home so I really want their childhoods to be great dispite the tragity. I am about to have another baby and I want to be so excited about everything for their sake but some days its so hard because I miss my Dante so much.
I completely understand. I hate all holidays now, I could care less about them. October 2013 was 4 years since I lost my only son, who was 20 years old. I have 2 daughters, they are now 18 and 14. Only my 14 year old is still home with me, she understands how I feel, she doesn't like it, but she understands. Nothing is the same anymore, nor will it ever be. They say time heals every thing, but I'm still waiting....