[stormy]

Life after losing a child
I really don't know where to begin. Losing a child is one of the hardest if not the hardest things I have been through. I can't even begin to describe the pain and heartache that comes from losing a child. There are no words to describe the pain and there is nothing that one can do to ease the pain. There are no magic words to make the pain and heartache to go away. It is something that lingers around like a cloud of fog for a lifetime.

They say that time heals the heart and a way I have to agree with that. Time has healed my heart some because now I can look at Dave's pictures, watch the videos, and remember the good times that we had together without crying buckets of tears. There are time though when I don't want to get out of bed or go on with life. Now I am not talking about suicide or anything like that. I have strong religious beliefs and I also want to be here for my girls. I want to watch them grow up. Plus this family has had enough tragedy in one lifetime.

The first two years are a blur for me. I remember some of it but a lot of it I want to block out. Less pain if I do. Each holiday is a rough time in my life. I try to focus on the positive side of the holiday and watch my girls have a good time but there is a part of me wishes that I could see Dave play with the girls. He would had loved his two new sisters and I am sure he misses his younger sister that he played with.

So now I sit here and wonder how life will go. Will it get better or will it be the same.