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Baby Shower Rant!


Forum: June 2014 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By JoannaEvelyn06
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  #1  
March 19th, 2014, 07:44 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1,408
I am so annoyed with my sister-in-law right now!!

She volunteered to throw me a shower (which was super generous of her and I'm thankful). So, I spent hours at Target registering because the guns they kept giving me all died withing 10-15 minutes of me using them.

Anyway, I sent my SIL a little printable card to put with the invitations that said I was registered at Target.

Guess what.

There is NOTHING inside or written on the invitation to indicate I'm registered at Target.

Perfect. So now I'm going to get a bunch of crap I don't need. Which sucks, because we can use all the extra, needed items we can get to save $$.

I feel like I shouldn't be this upset, but I really am pretty angry
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  #2  
March 19th, 2014, 08:49 AM
Britt3's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 861
((HUGS)) I'm sorry.. that really does stink, I'd be upset too. Obvsiouly it'll be nice to receive anything.. but it'd be best to get what you NEED. Maybe ask her to send a little note by email or something to the individuals and say, "oops! forgot to mention she's registered at Target!" ??
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  #3  
March 19th, 2014, 08:56 AM
Spottts's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,126
You could just spread through word of mouth. I always check online at Target and BRU if I don't have official word if the person is registered anywhere.
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Mom to 4 girls - one age 9 (January 2005), 7 year old twins (January 2007) and new baby girl born July 2, 2014
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  #4  
March 19th, 2014, 08:58 AM
MrsPalumbo's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 664
Lurking here but I TOTALLY get it. We're registered at Babies R Us, Pottery Barn Kids and Etsy.com. Well my MIL put on the invitations, Babies R Us (which you can't really screw up), Pottery Barn, and Etsy. You can't access a PBK registry by going to the regular PB website. You have to click on the PBK portion of the site and then go into the registry from there. If you do it on the PB portion it says, "Registry not found." Then she just put Etsy. Not Etsy.com. So a lot of ppl are going to be thinking there's some store out there called Etsy, not find it or know what it is and not even bother with it. Putting the ".com" tells them it's a website! I'm really aggravated bc the PBK and Etsy.com registries have all of the the nursery decor and custom items on there that I REALLY want! The Babies R Us one is just the basics and the necessities. So frustrating when something that seems so simple and common sense isn't done correctly and has the potential of causing you inconvenience down the line. While it is trivial in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't make it any less annoying. ::Hugs:: I can completely empathize.
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  #5  
March 19th, 2014, 09:10 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: United States
Posts: 1,382
I can relate. My MIL threw my a shower last week. Never put my name or where we were registered on the invitation. I have about 100 blankets we don't need. Some of them monogrammed with the name we are NOT naming our baby. Also got TONS of clothes. Many of them I don't even like! We have a registry full of stuff we NEED!
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  #6  
March 19th, 2014, 10:33 AM
Missymoos's Avatar 1st time Momma-to-be
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Location: Ontario (Canada)
Posts: 1,089
You could oh-so-casually post something on Facebook or the like along the lines of "Thanks Target for making my baby registry such a hassle to create, geesh!", lol - that way it's out there...?

But I totally understand. Even with a registry that people know about, a lot totally ignore it and get what they want to get you, and usually it's something cutesy.

While I am grateful for anything that people would like to buy for us, seeing I don't *expect* them to buy anything...at the same time, the registries are there for a reason, right? I was tempted to remove a lot of the "surplus" stuff from mine until someone bought the mattress we wanted, lol. But left items up there anyhow, if only to remind myself what I wanted when I go to exchange the dozen blankets and six dozen onsies with cheesy slogans on them
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  #8  
March 19th, 2014, 11:45 AM
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Thanks for your sympathy & suggestions, ladies. My whole day tanked after realizing that little blunder.... thank you pregnancy hormones. Hopefully I can figure out an easy fix to the problem.
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  #9  
March 19th, 2014, 02:55 PM
mrsdaiwa24's Avatar Amy, soon-to-be-mama of 2
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Midwest
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I love the idea of "complaining" about the registry process at Target on FB -- subtle but it will be out there. Plus, get it out through word of mouth about where you're registered. I would bet that a lot of people will ask where you're registered anyway, so hopefully those in the know will share the info.
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  #10  
March 19th, 2014, 05:54 PM
epsilonbeta's Avatar Super Mommy
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Some etiquette "experts" say it's tacky to include registry information on any kind of invite. I say that's outdated and lame. She may have saw that and didn't want to come across rude. Just a positive spin to what may have happened
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  #11  
March 19th, 2014, 07:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by epsilonbeta View Post
Some etiquette "experts" say it's tacky to include registry information on any kind of invite. I say that's outdated and lame. She may have saw that and didn't want to come across rude. Just a positive spin to what may have happened
You're kind - but no, she admitted she just forgot
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  #12  
March 20th, 2014, 09:26 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Az
Posts: 633
Personally, I hate when there's registry info on the invite. BUT, when I RSVP I always ask where the person or couple is registered and if there's anything that's a large gift that people are going in on together. Sometimes I can even do both a group gift and an individual gift. Or sometimes I learn something about the person or couple that helps me zone in on an even more special gift for them.
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  #13  
March 20th, 2014, 10:15 AM
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I agree with the subtle posting on FB or similar social media.

Hopefully most of the people going to your shower will ask the host if you are registered anywhere.
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  #14  
March 20th, 2014, 10:44 AM
rachelc0's Avatar 2 sons, 3 angel babies
Join Date: Dec 2013
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ok i have to be a devil's advocate on this (in the most respectable way) because i.m guilty of this.

almost exact same story. i was throwing SIL's baby shower for her, but her demands were a little over the top. i'm not a crazy-creative person, but she did want homemade invitations (and didn't want to help make them). so i did. but i also forgot to write on there where she was registered at (1. there wasn't enough room, really, and 2. she didn't give me cards like it sounds like you gave your SIL). mine was registered at like 7 different stores!

when the invitations went out, i sent one to her (at her request) just so she knew what they looked like. i got a text from her a few days later and assumed it was praising me on the invites because it took me weeks to do them! no, she was ripping me a new one for not telling people where she was registered at. she made me feel so bad i nearly called the entire party off.

luckily i was able to salvage that by writing on the facebook invite where she was registered at, and also it was a great way to find out who was coming, because they would call or text to inquire about the registries (since no body ever wanted to RSVP). when not many things were purchased from the registries, she blamed me.

sooo.... as hard as it is, i would go a little easy on her. she very well may have forgotten to add them with the invites. if she deliberatly didn't send them, then that's not cool, but she can always send out mass-texts, or put on social media invites, etc.
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Last edited by rachelc0; March 20th, 2014 at 10:46 AM.
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  #15  
March 20th, 2014, 10:51 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rachelc0 View Post
ok i have to be a devil's advocate on this (in the most respectable way) because i.m guilty of this.

almost exact same story. i was throwing SIL's baby shower for her, but her demands were a little over the top. i'm not a crazy-creative person, but she did want homemade invitations (and didn't want to help make them). so i did. but i also forgot to write on there where she was registered at (1. there wasn't enough room, really, and 2. she didn't give me cards like it sounds like you gave your SIL). mine was registered at like 7 different stores!

when the invitations went out, i sent one to her (at her request) just so she knew what they looked like. i got a text from her a few days later and assumed it was praising me on the invites because it took me weeks to do them! no, she was ripping me a new one for not telling people where she was registered at. she made me feel so bad i nearly called the entire party off.

luckily i was able to salvage that by writing on the facebook invite where she was registered at, and also it was a great way to find out who was coming, because they would call or text to inquire about the registries (since no body ever wanted to RSVP). when not many things were purchased from the registries, she blamed me.

sooo.... as hard as it is, i would go a little easy on her. she very well may have forgotten to add them with the invites. if she deliberatly didn't send them, then that's not cool, but she can always send out mass-texts, or put on social media invites, etc.
It was an honest mistake, but it sucks because she doesn't have contact info for any of the people my MIL invited to the shower. We've had some major financial blows since getting pregnant and it's been 6 years since I've had a baby, so the registry wasn't just for fun stuff I wanted in excess. It's for legitimate things we need, that will be difficult for us to buy before baby comes.

Just disappointing and stressful to not know what we'll end up getting and what we'll have to come up with the cash to buy.

For the records, I wasn't rude to her about it..... it is just frustrating, I'm sure everyone can sympathize with that.
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  #16  
March 20th, 2014, 11:57 AM
Missymoos's Avatar 1st time Momma-to-be
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Ontario (Canada)
Posts: 1,089
Hopefully people will be sensible enough to include gift receipts so you can at least exchange some items that you may not need for the ones that you do!

It is a tough call on the registry stuff...I get excited when I see items being checked off my registry (who wouldn't!) but at the same time I feel guilty expecting other people to buy things for me...which is why I tend to buy things myself whenever I saw them on sale. DH and I also bought most of the big ticket items ourselves (entire nursery suite, stroller, etc.) so beside the crib mattress and the toddler car seat (which we don't need right away anyhow), there isn't anything huge on our registry that we MUST have and need.
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Last edited by Missymoos; March 20th, 2014 at 12:20 PM.
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