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Those who had the 'courthouse wedding', what was your reasoning and are you happy you went that route? DF and I had planned a wedding for June 29th but obviously that's out now. We've discussed having a 'courthouse wedding' before Ellie is born, and then a nicer, bigger wedding later that would be super casual... but we are both SO on the fence about doing that or just waiting and having the bigger wedding. We aren't religious, or concerned about having a baby out of wedlock.. pretty much the only benefit to the courthouse wedding is it would take a lot of pressure off the nicer wedding later.
I know at least a couple of you have personal experience so I guess I'm just looking for anything that could sway us one way or another.
Ry, happily engaged to Zach.
Mom to Bodhi, Brigham, and Elliott.
We went down to the courthouse, got the paperwork, and then had a friend perform the "ceremony" at the Two Fools Tavern that evening. I ordained her online during our immunology class. We'd been planning our wedding for June 2009 but it turned out that getting legally married in September of 2008 made for a huge tax benefit for us that pretty much paid for the entire ceremony. We didn't want it to detract from our actual wedding so se kept it on the DL and only told close friends and family and we still referred to each other as fiancee until our big family wedding. We celebrate the big family wedding as our anniversary and when I've not been pregnant, we have a nice drink together on our "Tavern" anniversary.
Lurking. We did the courthouse wedding back in Sept 2010 bc NJ only had civil unions back then but I would still be able to get under her ins if we did a civil union. Just my in laws were there to serve as witnesses. We told ppl (including my parents) about it afterward. For us, it was just the paperwork. We did our big "traditional" wedding in May 2012 bc we still wanted the experience of our "wedding day" and to share it will our friends and family. At that time, there was no legalization of same sex marriage in the forseeable future. Once it became legal in Oct 2013, we had a little ceremony at a local park. A friend was the officient and only my Mom, DW's best friend and DD were there. We'll only be celebrating our May 2012 anniversary though. We always joke and say, "I love you so much I married you three times!" Soooooo, I say just go for it. Do the courthouse first before baby comes and a bigger one after. For me, I would definitely do it so that the three of you all have the same last name on your LO's birth certificate. For some ppl that doesn't matter. Do whatever feels best for the both of you. GL in whatever decision you make!
DH and I are probably going to Court-house it when we get around to it. I'm too old to bother with a big fluffy wedding and would rather not pay for one to be perfectly honest.
We might do a "surprise" wedding announcement where we invite a few close friends over to a restaurant under some pretense...or even the next time we go on vacation with a group of friends...but probably we'll just be lame and change our status on Facebook or something and that's how people will find out, lol.
ps - beside the legal commitment...all I really want is my peach sapphire engagement ring
We had a court house wedding, and then 11 months later a big, formal wedding. It really, really did take a lot of stress from the big day. The formal wedding was still just as special to us, but we didn't have to think about getting married or the paper work or any of that. It was already done! Everyone at our wedding knew that we were married, but it was still fun to share the day with our family and friends.
As to why, I'm not totally sure? I think in part we just wanted to be married and didn't want to wait a year to do it! Plus, we were planning to move in together, and with our kids and keeping peace in the family, it made a lot of sense. Really, though, I think it was a lot more the former. It was fun, too, do sneak off and get married. We went to the court house on our lunch break
__________________ Amy: Wife to my Handsome Husband Mommy to my superhero, Max (3) and Luckiest Bonus Mama to Sammy (5)
It is such a personal decision - the two of you have to follow your hearts with what is right for you. It is your special day, which should be celebrated in a manner that will make you happy and look back with fond memories.
i had a big church wedding and it was exactly what i DIDN'T want. DH wanted that crap when i really just wanted a courthouse wedding. we paid so much money for this big day, there is always drama attached to it in some way with someone in the family (we were no exceptions), food was expensive, people drank up all our booze. oy. if i could do it again, i would do a courthouse wedding which a really nice dinner afterwards for immediate family.
I wish we would have skipped all the hoopla and just gone that route and had a big stress free celebration at a later date! Its been 12 years and I'm still a little sick over the money we spent on nothing more than a party!
We didn't have a courthouse wedding but we did have a tiny little wedding that was officiated by a judge at a B&B. It was just our parents and siblings there. We had a 15 minutes ceremony and then the inn provided us with an awesome lunch. The whole thing (including my dress and the two wedding bands) was under a couple of thousand dollars. Later, in the summer, we had a big catered BBQ to celebrate with more people. Why did we do it like this? DH was already divorced and I was widowed -- we didn't need the whole big wedding thing. We were already living together, we were in our early 30s, and we both agreed there were better things to spend our money on. I still bought a wedding dress (although it was a tea-length dress and not the big princess dress). We still got to celebrate with our families, both at the small luncheon as well as the BBQ. The only regret I have (and this is minor) is that we didn't have the dancing component to it -- we never had a true first dance. But other than that, I don't regret anything.Do what makes YOU happy.