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So far the bed rest I've been on for the last 12 days has been great.. I'm bored out of my skull and really want to go outside and enjoy the beautiful weather, but keeping my blood pressure down is a bit more important. Poppet doesn't seen to be interested in coming on her own... even if she's intent on making me uncomfortable as all get out the last few days.
In a few hours I'll be going to the hospital to be getting my pre op lab work done before my cesarean and my BFF has decided I've been cooped up long enough to enjoy some time outside.. Sooooo, after my blood work is done he's going to set up a blanket out in the back yard for me to enjoy some sunshine and fresh air before I spend half the week in the hospital. He's also going to be bringing the hedgehogs out to hang out with me. I'm pretty excited to be getting some time with my hedgies and enjoying the weather for even a half hour before I have to crawl back into bed.
I'm excited and anxious all at once.. I'm ready to be out of bed and holding my little girl in my arms.
Look out Wednesday... Here I come! (Now if I could just get to sleep before 4 in the morning the next couple nights that would be TOTALLY AWESOME!)
Twenty-five hours from now I'll be heading into the OR, 30 minutes later I should be holding my baby girl. I don't think the reality of it has really settled in, although as I walk through the doors of Labor and Delivery tomorrow to begin my pre op prep, I think I will collide with reality head on. I'm not feeling nervous, but rather a strange sense of calm has washed over me.
I did get to enjoy some sunshine and fresh air yesterday with the hedgehogs. Although I have four, we don't take them out to play together.. they aren't social animals like say a dog or cat.. However, it's pretty clear they do bond with people.. or at least ONE person. I took some video of our grumpiest hedgehog, Bijoux, while we had her outside. From the video you'd never know she is the devil hog we tell everyone she is... Inside, she huffs, clicks, pops, and in general is just not friendly at all... get that girl some fresh air and some space to run around and she's as sweet as cotton candy. Anyway, I thought I'd share a little video of Bijoux following my best friend around the yard. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mzid6KmkJo
In other news, I came to a hard decision this week. Although I hold a lot of animosity toward Poppet' biological father, and he's no longer in our lives for the time being as a result of winning the case for my Order of Protection, I will be listing him on her birth certificate. While it's not something she will see or even think to ask about for quite some time, she has a right to at least know his name and decide on her own if she wants to seek him out. It's not my place to taint her perception, but to let her find out on her own. I will be writing her a letter telling her how her father and I met and that our relationship deteriorated, but won't go into details. When she's ready to ask those kinds of questions, should she be mature enough, I won't lie to her and let her decide for herself what she wants to do. I think it's probably the most mature way I can handle the situation.
On a happier note, my best friend has decided he will be going into the OR with my Mom and I during the cesarean.
Ladies, good luck and as soon as I am able I will post Poppet's story and Pictures.....I can't wait to share our story and see who else's little ones have arrived when I am able to return! and to all of you!
Good luck with everything today. I am excited to see pictures!!!
I also greatly approve of how you are handling informing her of her biological dad - it is something that eventually she will want to know and the way you have opted to handle it is very mature and shows how much you love her already.