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Aaaarrrrrrgh I feel like I'm sounding like a broken record


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  • 2 Post By Wish44
  • 2 Post By BuckeyeGal23
  • 1 Post By AtomicMama
  • 4 Post By RunningMommyTo5
  • 3 Post By susie_q
  • 2 Post By RunningMommyTo5
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  #1  
October 16th, 2013, 06:26 AM
susie_q's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 986
I swear to all that is good in this world.

This is how the convo went with my bf last night (I'm working in Philly for work over Halloween which is about an hour and a half drive from where I live):

bf: so (our mutual friend) thinks we should just get a group of us together after you're done working and go to the haunted trail in philly. We can drink before going out.
me: okay, I should be done around 5 so y'all can come up and pre-party and I can be DD depending on how many people want to come.
bf: are you going to be drinking?
me: pending that I'm still pregnant then, no
bf: oh.

So is he just taking the denial route? Sometimes he mentions it and is sweet and kind, other times this. We had a talk when I got home about it, I told him although a lot can happen in the upcoming weeks, I cannot terminate, that I hope he has an active role in my life and in this baby's life but if I have to do it alone, I will. So we'll have to see how things go from here. He was super quiet afterwards and didn't mention it again the rest of the evening, we just watched a movie and that was it. So annoyed right now though.
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  #2  
October 16th, 2013, 06:34 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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I am so sorry! Be strong! Praying for you!
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  #3  
October 16th, 2013, 06:51 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Location: CA
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That is extemely frusterating. I think he does not want to deal with reality. And you could be right, he may not be ready to be a Dad. Or he could be like most Dads and just needs to take some time for it to sink in. To some, its not a reality until the baby is there. If your relationship is strong in other aspects, even if you dont always agree, but make a point of getting through the hard times, I think you will be fine. Babies, while its exciting and you love them to peices, do add stress. It wont always be easy, but as long as you love each other and are truely committed, you really can get through anything. I understand wanting an answer though. Its hard to know how to plan anything if they absolutely refuse to talk about it, but at this point I wouldnt push him, just give him a month or so before possibly bringing up the conversation again and see where he stands.

I wish you the very best Lots of prayers and good wishes
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  #4  
October 16th, 2013, 07:09 AM
BuckeyeGal23's Avatar Happy Mommy
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Location: Ohio
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Hugs! That would be hard. How long have you been togehter? I know a pregnancy can be hard for anyone to adjust to, especially if you weren't expecting it! I hope he can come to terms with it and doesn't leave you alone. But good for you standing up for yourself and your baby!
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  #5  
October 16th, 2013, 07:34 AM
susie_q's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BuckeyeGal23 View Post
Hugs! That would be hard. How long have you been togehter? I know a pregnancy can be hard for anyone to adjust to, especially if you weren't expecting it! I hope he can come to terms with it and doesn't leave you alone. But good for you standing up for yourself and your baby!
Only six months. So, suuuper surprise baby. I tried telling him last night that although I don't want a baby right now, I can't terminate, and that's a really weird place to be mentally.
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  #6  
October 16th, 2013, 07:43 AM
~~MeeMee~~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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BABY BOY due June 6

Me 40 DH 42 with an amazing 15yo DS
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natural BFP Feb 2012, ending in mmc Apr with d&c in May
IVF Sep 2012, 4 eggs retrieved, 2 mature, 1 fertilized, but showed abnormal
growth, so not suitable for transfer
Nov 2012 IVF take 2 = 3 embryos, but due to concerns with lining unable to transfer
Jan 2013 endometrial biopsy = normal
Mar FET transferred 2 beautiful embryos, but unfortunately BFN
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Septemeber 30, 2013 - surprise BFP while waiting for DE
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  #7  
October 16th, 2013, 07:48 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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Oh goodness! I think you worded your side perfectly. I hope after he has some time to let it sink in, he will get on board If not, I know you will be AMAZING on your own!

I understand the mentality of, I don't want this right now, but I can't terminate, I can't change this. It's hard and confusing, and even more so when you have a partner who doesn't seem to understand that.
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  #8  
October 16th, 2013, 08:12 AM
RunningMommyTo5's Avatar Marathoning Mom to 4!
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I'm so sorry. However, I applaud you for being strong and firm in your stance. You were very clear in what your intentions are and there is absolutely no ambiguity there. Kudos to you for saying that! I understand what you are saying. We were not prepared for a 5th. I don't believe in abortion as I believe babies are a true gift from God and if God creates the life, then He will also provide the means to take care of the child (even if it's not through the birth parents). So, in the end, it's praying daily for God to help me fully embrace this pregnancy and blessing.

It will work out. I will keep you in my prayers! I can't imagine not having my DH fully on board, so I know that must add another element of hurt for you. Praying he comes around, but even if he doesn't, God has equipped you to care this precious miracle! Be encouraged that no, it won't be easy, but God chose you to be this child's mother and He has a special purpose for BOTH of you in this circumstance!
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  #9  
October 16th, 2013, 08:29 AM
susie_q's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Maryland
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Thank you for letting me vent ladies and being so sweet. This on top of hormones has made the past few weeks kinda rough but y'all have been an amazing support system so far and I'm very grateful for that.

Hopefully this will all pass soon so all my posts aren't the same
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  #10  
October 16th, 2013, 08:37 AM
RunningMommyTo5's Avatar Marathoning Mom to 4!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by susie_q View Post
Thank you for letting me vent ladies and being so sweet. This on top of hormones has made the past few weeks kinda rough but y'all have been an amazing support system so far and I'm very grateful for that.

Hopefully this will all pass soon so all my posts aren't the same
This is what I love about DDCs. This is what we're here for. Never apologize for needing support!!! We are always here for you! Share and vent anytime you need to.
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  #11  
October 16th, 2013, 08:41 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Location: CA
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Wow, that is quite a surprise after only 6 months. With our first, I fell pregnant VERY quickly too. It wasnt ideal, but we could not terminate and really believe it was a blessing. I still believe that. We started seeing each other a month prior in march, started dating 4/18/09 found out we were pregnant 5/13/09. (I wasnt suppose to be able to get pregnant, long story) Hopefully he will settle into the role and get more comfortable with the reality of being a Dad. He may still be somewhat in shock, since it was so unexpected.
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  #12  
October 16th, 2013, 08:43 AM
mrs_zipre's Avatar Loving my life!
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I certainly hope he comes around to the idea of this pregnancy.
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  #13  
October 16th, 2013, 08:51 AM
LivyLove's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think you are extremely brave for not terminating. Hopefully he comes around. It's a shock but thats no reason not to be supportive.

Hugs!
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  #14  
October 16th, 2013, 08:54 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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No matter what happens, you can always vent here It's what we're here for!
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  #15  
October 16th, 2013, 09:16 AM
AllyTales's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AtomicMama View Post
No matter what happens, you can always vent here It's what we're here for!
This! I'm so sorry things are a bit rocky. I imagine with just 6 months together, he's probably still shocked. And his head may not be in it like yours is. Hopefully with some time, he will come around though.
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