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Car seat safety, I said something *update*


Forum: Due Date Club of July 2014

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  • 1 Post By AlanaIris
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  #1  
February 8th, 2014, 08:55 PM
Spottts's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think we may have a mom or two on here who is into car seat safety. Long back story coming...

I'm not a "nut" about it but I kept the twins rear facing for past a year, almost two. I kept them in a 5 pt harness as long as the seat would allow. My car wouldn't fit another brand 3 across with two seats 5 pt so E and V went into high back boosters. Car fits 3 high back boosters. My 9 year old out grew the high back booster last month so she is now in low booster.

All that being said, I rarely say anything to others about their choices unless it's brought up in conversation. I couldn't hold my tongue any longer. I've been seeing pics on FB with a friend's 2-3 year old in a low booster in the car. Kids pose for pics. Maybe that's not his regular seat. Whatever, I ignore it. But, tonight there was a video of the dad (the friend from childhood) singing in the car. LO has the shoulder strap behind him. He's such a light weight the booster seat is titled at an angle as he's turned almost falling out of the seat, looking out the window. That is SOOOO unsafe! I posted in the comments about getting LO a car seat that is appropriate for his size. I was nice about it but couldn't stop thinking of how terrible I would feel to hear of them being in an accident and their LO got hurt. People usually say "well, my child sits still in the car" but I was actually watching this child almost fall out of the seat belt. I hope dad doesn't get his feelings hurt. I guess he could just "unfriend" me in that case.

Anyone else ever say anything? Rarely? All the time? Never?
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Last edited by Spottts; February 9th, 2014 at 08:01 AM. Reason: Update
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  #2  
February 8th, 2014, 09:36 PM
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Only once so far. I have a friend that I was talking car seats with while we were on the phone the other day, and I fussed at her for having her 8 year old in the front seat with no booster at all. If she had been in the back I probably would have kept my mouth shut, but I don't think she needs to be in the front seat either way.
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  #3  
February 8th, 2014, 09:46 PM
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I don't say anything I've seen some bad ones but I'm sure I have been guilty of non perfect car seat safety at times not intentionally of course.
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  #4  
February 9th, 2014, 05:18 AM
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I haven't said anything but I see a lot of people not following car seat instructions, but I try to post general car seat safety articles on Facebook every now and then, hoping my mommy friends will see and read.

My husband is bugging me to turn our DS around, like, the second he turns two and everything I've seen and read says two is the bare minimum for forward facing...I would never forgive myself if I turned him around before his body was ready and something happened.

The one that really gets me is when mamas put their carriers on top of shopping carts at the store. It is really dangerous! (And I used to do it before I knew better and now I feel so lucky nothing happened that made my son fall out!)
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  #5  
February 9th, 2014, 05:32 AM
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I have said something once when a friend of mine posted a pic of her 5 month old ffing. Other than that, I have never said anything. If you've ever heard of the app timehop, I was browsing my timehop things the other day and found a pic of my first when he was like 15mos old or something. And he was ffing with loose straps. FB and my JM friends have definitely taught me a lot about car seat safety since then!!!
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  #6  
February 9th, 2014, 05:48 AM
Dishersgirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't have any friends to correct. Boo. My 12 yo towers over me and has met requirements both height and weight for a long time to be without a seat, but kept him in a booster till 7/8. My girls will stay in 5point till I can't stand it. But I am by no means a fanatic.
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  #7  
February 9th, 2014, 05:53 AM
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Ehhh... you would probably fuss at me lol!
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  #8  
February 9th, 2014, 06:02 AM
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I've done the same thing and I was unfriended (it wasn't someone I cared that much to have on fb anyway). I felt the same way that if I didn't say something and something happened it would make me feel horrible. This person had a 6 month old in a forward facing seat. There are no laws against it where she lives, which is scary.
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  #9  
February 9th, 2014, 06:14 AM
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Her reply was that her 6 month old could hold its head up and had a strong neck. It really got to me. Car seat safety is a serious thing. I will be switching my dd to a high back booster once she turns 4 because I can't fit her Nautilus in my car with ds and an infant car seat, I need something more narrow. That said, she literally is the size of a 5 or 6 y/o right now and I'm keeping her in the harness until the last minute I can. She's already about 45lbs and will likely be 50lbs or so when I switch her (she's big like her father) and she's very tall. Anyway, I would never do something drastic like things I have seen by other people. It's scary that people don't take safety more seriously. If I could afford to, I'd get a new car just to keep my daughter in a harness until she is max weight, but it's not a choice we have unfortunately. However, I feel like I'm still within safe limits or I wouldn't do it. She's technically in the safe height and weight range now for the backed booster, but I'd like to wait it out as long as I can since the harness is safest. I have also started using the belt instead of latch for the seat attachment. Not sure if you all have heard of the new recommendation that if you're child + the weight of the seat is greater than 65lbs, there is no guarantee that the latch belts will hold the seat in a crash? They recommend using the seat belt to attach the seat instead at that point. I use a Mighty Tite to tighten the belt because I was never any good at it. Wow ....look at this post, sorry about the length ladies.
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  #10  
February 9th, 2014, 06:58 AM
CanadianMom2B's Avatar Super Mommy
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I'm a big believer in non judgemental parenting, don't get me wrong safety is super important, but I have seen many many friendships bust up because they didn't agree on raising their children. If they are a close friend, or if you do it privately in a message not a post that's one thing. But pointing out to the world (that person's friends and family) that they are being a bad parents.... yeah wouldn't recommend. No parent is ever perfect, and the thing you find to be the most important likely won't be theirs, and the things they find most important may not be yours.
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  #11  
February 9th, 2014, 06:59 AM
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I say something when I see it....we were leaving the park a few months ago and this lady put her kid in her infant carrier and put her in the front seat facing forward...I followed her to the gas station and told her how unsafe that was (the BASE WAS IN THE BACK SEAT). She said the baby cries if she isn't in the front seat...so I told her I was going to call the police if I saw her drive away with the baby in front - she moved her...but I"m sure she didn't keep her there...I've pulled up next to cars where they (grandparents) have had little kids crawling on their laps in the fronts seats and I scream out the winder "put that kid in a car seat"....lol....I've gotten the finger a few times!!

It makes my skin crawl when I watch Teen Mom 2 and I see Leah's twins in their booster seats....no excuse!
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  #12  
February 9th, 2014, 07:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CanadianMom2B View Post
I'm a big believer in non judgemental parenting, don't get me wrong safety is super important, but I have seen many many friendships bust up because they didn't agree on raising their children. If they are a close friend, or if you do it privately in a message not a post that's one thing. But pointing out to the world (that person's friends and family) that they are being a bad parents.... yeah wouldn't recommend. No parent is ever perfect, and the thing you find to be the most important likely won't be theirs, and the things they find most important may not be yours.
This is off topic, but I have to say I love this about parenting in general ♥
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  #13  
February 9th, 2014, 07:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CanadianMom2B View Post
I'm a big believer in non judgemental parenting, don't get me wrong safety is super important, but I have seen many many friendships bust up because they didn't agree on raising their children. If they are a close friend, or if you do it privately in a message not a post that's one thing. But pointing out to the world (that person's friends and family) that they are being a bad parents.... yeah wouldn't recommend. No parent is ever perfect, and the thing you find to be the most important likely won't be theirs, and the things they find most important may not be yours.
I thought about a private message but figured he put the video out there for everyone to see. It could help someone else. He can also delete my comment. This isn't my opinion on safety, it's the legal requirements to use a low back booster. That was my thinking and why I posted, right or not the best move.

The more I'm thinking of it, if he hasn't "unfriended" me, I'll take him off my newsfeed.
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  #14  
February 9th, 2014, 07:43 AM
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I haven't ever said anything but if I saw an infant ffing I probably would. The thing is, people just don't really care, so saying something isn't going to matter 99% of the time.

My almost 7 year old is still in a 5-pt harness and will be until he outgrows the weight / height limits, and I got one that will last him as long as possible intentionally. I want to cry when I see people with their young children in seatbelts and the kids are slumped all over the seat, sleeping, or they've put the shoulder belt behind them, etc. This is just one small thing we can EASILY do to keep our kids a little safer, it's really hard for me to understand why anyone would avoid it.
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  #15  
February 9th, 2014, 07:46 AM
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I think if I was super concerned, I would have private messaged, and been gentle about it. But for the most part, my knowledge on parenting is a lot lower than my peers, being a FTM, so I don't but in. Plus, I've learned most of the time, people KNOW what the "right" answer is, and choose to in another direction for whatever the reason. I don't need to tell them.

I do believe that parenting takes a village, but most people don't like to be told they are doing things "wrong". It's sad to say, but if something bad happens, then it's on them.

I try to say something if I believe they are abusing their kids, but that's worse. No one wants to hear it.
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  #16  
February 9th, 2014, 08:00 AM
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I just deleted my comment on FB. I went there to do that. The Dad wasn't upset. He "liked" my comment.

His sister says the pediatrician said it was fine for his height and weight. Very well could be but it that case it's still not safe because LO can't sit still to keep the shoulder belt on and let the seat do it's job. Either way... They'll do what they want.add

ETA: A BFF just texted me thanks for posting something on the dad's wall. Lol. She doesn't have kids but watches her nephew and niece so she's read up on car seat safety. I did tell her it was me who deleted my comment not him.
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Last edited by Spottts; February 9th, 2014 at 08:11 AM. Reason: Add more
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  #17  
February 9th, 2014, 03:29 PM
colette20's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Some people aren't aware of changing rules, and I do tend to cut people a little slack because of that.... but if they are doing something that is that unsafe, I do say something.
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