Log In Sign Up

Your birth: Group event or private party?


Forum: July 2014 Playroom

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree8Likes

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To July 2014 Playroom LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
January 6th, 2014, 05:59 PM
colette20's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 1,610
As we start thinking of birth plans, are you thinking it will just be you and your SO, or will others attend?

I don't think the pee stick was dry yet, and I told DF I didn't want anyone even near the hospital for labor and delivery. Im glad I did, because the first thing his mom asked was if she could be in the room.

Personally, I know when I am in pain, EVERYTHING annoys me, I didn't want to have to be pleasant to visitors and didn't want to have people milling around and chatting while I was trying to labor. I am so glad I did it that way, DF was amazing during labor, tending quietly to me, reassuring me when I needed it, and we ended up having a crazy labor and emergency delivery so I am glad it was just the two of us.

His mom is once again pushing to be in the waiting room, during my c section, and I'm like no... besides staff and DF, I want to be the first to lay eyes on my baby, and get quiet time with him/her before visitors start coming.

Many of my friends have had rooms full of people, and that works for them.

So which side of the fence do you land on with audiences during birth?
__________________
*Nikki*






Reply With Quote
  #2  
January 6th, 2014, 06:03 PM
Earthy.Mama's Avatar .*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 14,030
DD1, had an audience.

DD2, my sis was supposed to be there with DH and I (and dd1), but she had to work.

With this one... hubby and I, and maybe my best friend and her hubby if they can make it (they're 2hrs away).
__________________

Co-Host July 2014 DDC









Reply With Quote
  #3  
January 6th, 2014, 06:33 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 8,365
Private party, DH and I and only needed medical staff. I don't even allow residents or interns to observe. Midwife, nurse to assist her and a nurse for baby that is it!
__________________
Momma to :
E-10.5yrs 11/03
S-7.75yrs 8/06
A-6yrs 3/08
J-4.5yrs 11/09
K 2.5yrs 9/11
And
L-7/12/14!!!!



Reply With Quote
  #4  
January 6th, 2014, 06:36 PM
razzledobe's Avatar <3
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,289
Private party for sure!!
__________________
Another sweet little boy
Reply With Quote
  #5  
January 6th, 2014, 06:39 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 1,557
Having done it both ways I would never have anyone unnecessary in the room again.
__________________










Rachel-29 DH-28 DD1-4 DD2-2
Reply With Quote
  #6  
January 6th, 2014, 06:42 PM
brookes630's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,469
Private party!!!! I really don't like others to see me in pain. I labored for quite awhile at home with both girls, especially dd#1. My husband actually had a training day planned the day I went into labor (he was training for a triathlon). Since my contractions weren't regular yet, I let him go (he did stop by and check on me twice, and called often) and I stayed at home by myself (only for a couple of hours though). My mom and mother in law offered to come over, but I preferred to just be by myself. Even when he was home, I would walk into the other room when I had contractions. So weird, I know!!
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #7  
January 6th, 2014, 07:41 PM
colette20's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 1,610
Quote:
Originally Posted by *~Amber~* View Post
Private party, DH and I and only needed medical staff. I don't even allow residents or interns to observe. Midwife, nurse to assist her and a nurse for baby that is it!
Im the same way. My hospital is a teaching hospital and I asked they not attend. Then my doctor from hades kept sending residents in, and I would send them right back out. I understand they need to learn, but too many people in and out drove me insane.
__________________
*Nikki*






Reply With Quote
  #8  
January 7th, 2014, 04:43 AM
mstee511's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: DC Area, USA
Posts: 1,127
Send a message via Yahoo to mstee511
I didn't think the hospitals allowed too many people in the room while birthing. I was thinking i would just have BF and my mom and maybe an aunt.
__________________
**Timica**

My baby boy!

Reply With Quote
  #9  
January 7th, 2014, 05:40 AM
Alison79's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 10,232
A big birthday party I birth at home so my room is my birthing space and is kept quiet, but we usually have my Mom, midwide & her assistant, Doula, a family friend to be with the kids a sometimes a photographer. The kids make a birthday cake while I labor and those that want to are allowed in the room when I start pushing. I do water births so they don't see much, but they are very encouraging and make me laugh even when it is hard. After baby is born they help get him/her dresses and read baby their first story.
__________________
Alison - Mom to: Emmeline (7/14), Augustus (2) Maximus (4) Eleanor (5) Reid (6) Evelyn (8) Lucas (13) Christopher (14)

Reply With Quote
  #10  
January 7th, 2014, 05:59 AM
laleighpop's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 1,271
I am going to decide when I get down to it. I don't mind visitors while I am laboring but I am hoping to spend as much time at home as possible before moving to the hospital. With both of our mothers 14+ hours away it will depend if baby comes early or what not as I am sure they will plan to be here the week he is due. I have no idea if my best friend will be able to make it or will even plan on it. I was there for her 1st, but they flew solo on the 2nd.
I don't mind sending people to the waiting room at a certain point, but I plan on leaning a lot on DH and my cousin who did her own natural birth with a doula and is also a massage therapist.
I think I would find my MIL more comforting than my own mom, but our relationship is strained, because of the obvious inequality there, they might both be asked to sit in the waiting room when I get to the point of pushing or too much pain.
__________________
***Laura***

Reply With Quote
  #11  
January 7th, 2014, 06:59 AM
RhiettaP's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Central Coast CA (Air Force)
Posts: 1,154
With my first one, both of my sisters where in the L&D room with me, but I ended up having an emerg c/s...so it was just DH...every time after all of my births have been scheduled c/s's and because my family lives out of stated....only my mom has been here and that is because she watches my older kids at baby time.

I was so uncomfortable and in so much pain..no way would I want a room full of people!!
__________________
Rhietta
LillyAnna 10.26.02

William 11.06.03
Ethan 7.3.08
Liam Ryan 2.17.12
Rowan Oliver 6.19.14
Reply With Quote
  #12  
January 7th, 2014, 07:05 AM
RhiettaP's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Central Coast CA (Air Force)
Posts: 1,154
The hospital that I had my first in was a teaching hospital...I had to many hands and eyes up in my vagina...that by the time I actually delivered...I could walk the halls stark naked and wouldn't have had a care in the world!!
Spottts, mstee511 and casslou1 like this.
__________________
Rhietta
LillyAnna 10.26.02

William 11.06.03
Ethan 7.3.08
Liam Ryan 2.17.12
Rowan Oliver 6.19.14
Reply With Quote
  #13  
January 7th, 2014, 07:30 AM
Erin.Berg's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,253
Private party. I can get pretty agitated when in pain but I don't know how I will react to labor pains. Right now, in my head, I am trying to think of them as happy pain. Mostly because I know there will be an end to them and there will be a great reward.

My in-laws live only a few miles away and own their own business. Since this is their first grandchild I'm sure they will shut down the office and rush to the hospital the second they know I am there. DH's grandparents live one block from the hospital and will probably be there in a heartbeat as well. My parents live 2 hours away and I would much rather see them before the in-laws. I might allow a couple visitors if the pain isn't too bad but when it comes to pushing everybody except DH will have to wait in the waiting room.

I hope my hospital isn't a learning hospital. That will have to be something I discuss with doc at my next appointment!
__________________
-Erin-


Make a pregnancy ticker
Reply With Quote
  #14  
January 7th, 2014, 09:38 AM
ZeeWP's Avatar First Time Mom
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: El Paso, TX
Posts: 1,674
Private party. The only person I want there aside from dh is my sister but she won't be able to make it. No other family.

I am ok with staff coming in and out. But first pregnancy so we'll see if I mind or not.
__________________
~Zeenat~



Reply With Quote
  #15  
January 7th, 2014, 10:32 AM
Bluesstarz2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,287
Since were having a c-section, it will just be my husband and i. Otherewise I would be ok with my husband and mom and thats it.
__________________
*Amanda*
Two Beautiful Kids- Maddi June 2008 and Xander July 2014 and a wonderful husband (sometimes) - Chris April 2007


Reply With Quote
  #16  
January 7th, 2014, 11:02 AM
colette20's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 1,610
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erin.Berg View Post
Private party. I can get pretty agitated when in pain but I don't know how I will react to labor pains. Right now, in my head, I am trying to think of them as happy pain. Mostly because I know there will be an end to them and there will be a great reward.

My in-laws live only a few miles away and own their own business. Since this is their first grandchild I'm sure they will shut down the office and rush to the hospital the second they know I am there. DH's grandparents live one block from the hospital and will probably be there in a heartbeat as well. My parents live 2 hours away and I would much rather see them before the in-laws. I might allow a couple visitors if the pain isn't too bad but when it comes to pushing everybody except DH will have to wait in the waiting room.

I hope my hospital isn't a learning hospital. That will have to be something I discuss with doc at my next appointment!
I had myself psyched up for this horrible day of pain, but once you really get rolling, you gradually handle it, and it's not as horrible as I expected. Was it the greatest pain of my life? yes. But you can totally manage it better than you think. The excitement of finally meeting your baby over rides everything, you're right there.

I just knew I needed to focus, and I am glad I knew that ahead of time, having just DF there was the best thing for me. I could snap if I needed to, and it just rolled of his shoulders. My mom freaks out when my sister and I are just sick, so I knew she'd be overly in my face (trying to help of course) and I didn't need that. His mom and I aren't close, so I just found it odd thinking of her being there. Plus, I didn't wanna snap and have her take it personally.

I am having a planned c section, because a vbac with my health issues is just way more risky than another surgery, as much as I hate the idea another big surgery. Due to a spinal injury my body can't take an epi or spinal block, so I have to be put out for surgery. I don't handle anesthesia well, and it takes me double the time than most people to wake up, and a while to be coherent. I don't want people in the waiting room, because I am a selfish brat and besides hospital staff and DF, I want to be the first to see my baby. I also know it takes a while to get all the initial checks done, and the cath out, and to be able to get up and walk a bit, and I want that time visitor free. His mom keeps bringing it up, and it's getting old. I cannot be any more clear with my wishes, but the in laws just aren't getting it. His sisters had groups there for their births, so I think she just doesn't understand why I don't want that. But, my hospital will be alerted and all visitors will be turned away until I give the ok. I am glad they are soooo good about that. lol
__________________
*Nikki*






Reply With Quote
  #17  
January 7th, 2014, 12:05 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 705
I only want DH there, it was only him and I in the room when we put this baby in there so its only going to be him and I ( and the staff and maybe doula)there when he come back out! I get very snappy with our moms when I am in pain and I know that everything anyone but DH does is going to annoy me and stress me even more. I really want to have a quiet, dim room with music and DH so I am able to relax and enjoy my labor as much as possible. Plus the selfish side of me really wants an hour after birth that its just DH baby and I so we can bond without a bunch of family rushing in and wanting to hold him.
colette20 likes this.
__________________
Grace







3/28/13- 6 weeks
Reply With Quote
  #18  
January 7th, 2014, 12:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,110
That sounds so sweet Alison!

It will just be me and hubby. I guess that if this pregnancy happened to go differently than the last one and I didn't need to be induced and didn't have super high b/p at the end, and I got to just have a normal, natural birth, I might see if a friend could watch my baby and my mom could be at the hospital with my two older kids because I would love to have them there. I don't think they would be scared and I think it's something they would never forget.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #19  
January 7th, 2014, 07:03 PM
Spottts's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,126
It'll just be DH and me - Maybe my mom if she's not watching my other kids. As long as I'm in my quiet place with my eyes closed, I don't care which medical people will be there.
__________________
*Spottts*
Mom to 4 girls - one age 9 (January 2005), 7 year old twins (January 2007) and new baby girl born July 2, 2014
Reply With Quote
  #20  
January 7th, 2014, 09:39 PM
VallyD's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,826
With my son I had his father and my mother, my mother (who is a nurse and has seen plenty of gore...) almost passed out when I got cut and had to leave. This time it will definitely be a private affair!
__________________
Beautiful Boy- Born 7/19/14/ due 7/13/14
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:23 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0