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I had a baby 8mo ago and gained over 70 lbs during my pregnancy. Went from 140lbs to over 200 lbs. It took me a while to get to 165lbs and a size 11 pants and I was trying to lose weight in a healthy way, eating right, exercising, yadda yadda. Well, recently, my husband cheated on me with someone who was a size 0-1, and 100lbs sopping wet. I found out two weeks ago, and since then... every single bite I put in my mouth makes me feel fat. In the past two weeks i've dropped from 165-155lbs. I feel ugly, and fat, and my stomach churns whenever I eat something. I'm always looking at myself in the mirror. I don't like what I see. I hate this post-preggo body. I used to love it. Everything has changed now.
Now it's really starting to hurt me. My 8mo old is 26 lbs. I have a hard time carrying him. I feel out of breath, weak and dizzy. I know this is bad for me, but right now I don't know how to overcome it. I try to make myself eat and make myself keep everything down. Sometimes I succeed... but when I think about what my husband did, and who he did it with, it gets too much. I've become SO obsessed with being thin again. I don't know what to do. This isn't right, it isn't healthy.
oh hun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am so sorry for all you've been through with DS i went from 100lbs to 192 so i know the gain frustration and how hard it is to loose that much. it took over a year for me to get down to 115 which is a more appropriate weight then 100 for me. i can't imagine how desistated i would feel if DH cheated on me with a girl who was what i used to be weight wise - that would make me feel so cr*ppy to. HOWEVER - since he was willing to cheat - he isn't worth that - YOUR BABY IS worth you being healthy and taking care of him. HE loves you UNCONDITIONALLY. YOU are worth it and HE is worth it. You do not to be anything for your SO if he was willing to break his bond of marriage with you. And don't think it has to do with your weight - because it doesn't - it has to do with sh*t he's going through in his own head and he can blam it on whatever the cr*p he wants - but that him not YOU. Again, i can't imagine the way you feel with this situtation - but i do know how it is to be devistated and struggling with weight. I took it a moment at a time - and worked my hardest to be the best for my son (at the time it was just him) and eventually myself.
Hang in there hunny!!!! I am soooo sorry!!!
I know when we're depressed we don't feel like eating so if you need to make a plan for you day - so you get enough in to keep you going - and just rely on that pre-plan as long as you need!
Thank you so much for those words. I've been eating better these last few days and we are trying to make it work. I really dont want this to turn into a disorder because I NEED to be there for my son. I'm trying to keep positive and change what i think about myself because what *I* think matters most now.