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Age difference between kids


Forum: Due Date Club of September 2014

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  #1  
January 22nd, 2014, 05:58 PM
FlyingFlower's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Not so much a question but just wondering general thoughts on the matter. When this one comes their age difference will be 4.5 years. In some ways it's very easy because I'll only have to take one diaper bag when we leave the house, DD is in preschool for a lot of the day, stuff like that. Not that there's any way to change it but that seems like such a huge age difference. At that point it's not like they can really be companions or anything right? My sister and I are 5.5 years apart and we totally got along growing up but we weren't that close. Now we're really close. I guess this is just a rambling thought but what do you all think about age differences? Benefits of close in age, far apart, when is the spacing too much, your experiences?
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  #2  
January 22nd, 2014, 06:51 PM
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My biological kids are 10 yrs apart, my oldest is 10 and my youngest turns a year Saturday. There will be 19 months between my youngest and this one. And my boys, my step son is 4 yrs younger then my oldest and my adopted is 2 yrs younger then my step and 3.5 yrs older then my youngest lol
So it goes, 10,6,4 and 1, when baby is born it will be 11,7,5 and 1
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  #3  
January 22nd, 2014, 07:06 PM
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We originally wanted to wait 3-5 years, but decided to make it a bit sooner. Abbie will be 2 year 9 months when this baby is due. She has been potty trained for 7 months now and is pretty independent. She is also very helpful. I think anything less than 2 years and I would have been pulling my hair out.
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  #4  
January 22nd, 2014, 07:12 PM
MrsLat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Between my first and second is 2.5 years. Between my second and third is also 2.5 years. This last age gap is only going to be 16 months and that is TERRIFYING to me. I will barely have Grayson walking before this one comes It was very nice to only have to worry about one baby and have the others more independent, I don't know how I am going to manage, lol.

But my sister and I are very very close. We are 5 years apart. Growing up we weren't as close but once we were both teenagers, we really bonded. I am also really close to my older brother who is 4 years older. Strangely, the sibling I am least close to is my little brother who is 19 months younger.
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  #5  
January 22nd, 2014, 09:09 PM
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My older 2 are 2 years apart (25 months and 1 day!), and I LOVE that age gap. It has worked perfectly for us in so many ways and now they are older they are best friends.

#2 and #3 are 3yrs 3mos apart. They fight all the time.

#3 and #4 we wanted closer to 2 years apart...but that hasn't worked out and if this pregnancy sticks they will be 3yrs 4mos apart :/
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  #6  
January 22nd, 2014, 09:55 PM
Knewton's Avatar Super Mommy
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Almost down to the day 7 years. If everything goes well I will pick sept17 as our due date to have a c section. Daughters 7th birthday will be the 19th. I was 20 when I got pregnant with her so I really wasn't wanting more for awhile . I think she will be a bug help. I have a older brother who's 6 years older then me and I kind of liked the age gap
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  #7  
January 23rd, 2014, 12:12 AM
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My oldest just turned 3 at the end of last year. My second is 1 and a half and my third is 6 months. It's not easy having them so close in age but it's well worth it!
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  #8  
January 23rd, 2014, 12:29 AM
amberbanegas's Avatar Veteran
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My DD will be 8 and DS will be 10 when I am due! I think I am going to need a REFRESHER course! My two are 18 months apart and they are close… I am hoping since they are older they will take to the newest better. They seem to be excited!
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  #9  
January 23rd, 2014, 04:07 AM
angelinal09's Avatar Super Mommy
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While I think that it will ultimately be the children who dictate whether they are close or not, there are certainly things parents can do to facilitate closeness regardless of age difference. I think 4.5 years old is actually a pretty good age range as the older one is probably still at a stage of wanting to "help" with the baby and is probably pretty independent as well, which should be help itself when the baby comes. There really are pros and cons to all age ranges, since you can't really change it, look at the pros. Look into whether your hospital offers a big sibling class to help jump start the feelings of closeness and eliminate any feelings of jealousy that may be there.
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  #11  
January 23rd, 2014, 05:29 AM
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My first 3 kids are all 4 years apart. #3 & #4 are almost 3 years apart and now #4 and #5 will be (if this pregnancy continues progressing) over 5 years between them. My oldest will be 16 years older than my youngest. It seems crazy to have a 16 year old and then a newborn.
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  #12  
January 23rd, 2014, 06:12 AM
Jenn-F's Avatar Super Mommy
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My first 2 are 3 years and 2 weeks apart (exactly, lol). They will turn 9 and 6 about 2 months after this one arrives.

Three years apart has been really good for us. They're close enough in age to play pretty well together. We homeschool, so they're together more than they would be otherwise.

This time will be much different. Dh and I have talked about having another fairly soon after this one, but not sure that will happen.
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  #13  
January 23rd, 2014, 07:43 AM
TattooedMama's Avatar Mama to Goose, Bean, & #3
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DD and DS are 16 months apart. Lulu will be 5 in two weeks and Jake turned 6 in October. She's a pre-k, he's a first grader. DSD turned 2 in November. So munchkin #4 will be 3 years younger than DSD, almost 6 years younger than DD, and almost 7 years younger than DS.

I would have liked them closer together, but this will be fun too!
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  #14  
January 23rd, 2014, 08:03 AM
kto1111's Avatar Super Mommy
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I wanted DD and her sibling to be closer to 2 years apart, but of course things don't always go as planned. DD will now be just shy of 3 years old when #2 is born.

It seems there is no perfect gap. I remember reading this article a while back with pros/cons of different age ranges and thought it was an interesting perspective: The Alpha Parent: What no one tells you about child spacing
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  #15  
January 23rd, 2014, 08:22 AM
FlyingFlower's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Katie, I liked that article a lot.
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DD- 4 years, May 2010
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  #16  
January 23rd, 2014, 08:37 AM
xzippedx's Avatar Expecting #2
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mine will be just around 2 years apart, hope they will be close my mother says they will probably end up fighting alot
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  #17  
January 23rd, 2014, 09:32 AM
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I was 22 when I had my son and was a single mom until this past October, when I got married. My son will be 13 1/2 years old when this baby arrives. I am very worried as he's been used to having me all to himself and even though he's a teenager, I don't want him to feel left out.
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  #18  
January 23rd, 2014, 10:12 AM
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My DD will turn 6 in July, baby #2 coming in September. I'm the oldest of 4, and we are all close in age. 27, 25, 21, 19. My mom had a miscarriage between 25 and 21; or else we'd all be 2 years apart. I originally wanted that, but I'm so glad they will be farther apart. I feel like I got to really enjoy my DD's infancy, toddler and preschool stages and pay attention to her. I worry that if I had them closer together, I'd be missing out on one or the other.
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  #19  
January 23rd, 2014, 11:02 AM
amberbanegas's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by richardsangelad View Post
I was 22 when I had my son and was a single mom until this past October, when I got married. My son will be 13 1/2 years old when this baby arrives. I am very worried as he's been used to having me all to himself and even though he's a teenager, I don't want him to feel left out.
I am sure that he will help you out a lot! Just make sure you ask his opinion and include him in the planning. (That seems to work with mine, but they are a bit younger) I am sure that he will help a lot! Good luck!
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  #20  
January 23rd, 2014, 11:38 AM
Urchin's Avatar Loving every minute.
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Honestly, I don't think an age difference matters when it comes to bonding. My brother and I were 2 years apart and we NEVER got along well. We were just two very different people.

There are lots of people who have siblings 10 years apart, who are very close to one another.

Personally, we were going to try to space our kids out a little further (like 4-5 years) but we decided 3 years would be ok too As long as you make sure your older child still feels important (taking alone time with them, getting them involved with the baby), I think you'll be fine!
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