Log In Sign Up

intimacy? How often?


Forum: Due Date Club of September 2014

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree42Likes

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Due Date Club of September 2014 LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #21  
June 25th, 2014, 04:51 PM
Urchin's Avatar Loving every minute.
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Atlantic Canada
Posts: 8,244
Quote:
Originally Posted by bandriessen View Post
Fluconazole will do the trick. One time pill.
Fluconozole is an oral pill and should not be taken during pregnancy. Only vaginal creams are safe.
__________________
Thank-you Bokkechick for the beautiful siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #22  
June 25th, 2014, 06:15 PM
Caerus's Avatar Due in Sept 2014
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,894
Quote:
Originally Posted by lemieuxcrew View Post
So, I too am really not motivated - and it hurts. But I do have an honest question that I always wonder....maybe you ladies can help shed some light. Why do pregnant woman "feel sorry for their DH?
Well, in our relationship, we don't masturbate. Neither of us, ever. If he wants something, he has to involve me (and vice versa). We also don't look at porn. DH's "love language" is touch, so we decided a long time ago that we didn't want anything that could get in the way of us being intimate. I know that is unusual. And hey, he has sympathy for the discomforts I'm going through too. It isn't a one-way street.

That said, we definitely haven't been doing things as often as usual, not by a long shot. On top of my growing discomfort with my belly getting in the way, it is officially summertime, which means tourist season, which means DH is putting in a LOT of overtime. Poor guy is always tired. Hopefully he'll adjust to the hours soon.

I can't believe I just typed all this in an open forum.
angelinal09 and lemieuxcrew like this.
__________________

Thanks to Bokkechick for the lovely siggie!

Pregnant #1 with 2 Angels in Heaven

Last edited by Caerus; June 25th, 2014 at 06:18 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
June 25th, 2014, 07:13 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 518
Ya we do not believe in watching porn either I think its harmful for a marriage! but ya its definately getting so tough to be "mobile" now lol
Reply With Quote
  #24  
June 25th, 2014, 07:40 PM
FlyingFlower's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 1,121
Quote:
Originally Posted by lemieuxcrew View Post
So, I too am really not motivated - and it hurts. But I do have an honest question that I always wonder....maybe you ladies can help shed some light. Why do pregnant woman "feel sorry for their DH?" I feel like between morning sickness, weight gain, varicose vaginal veins, braxton hicks, swollen feet, tiredness, and on and on (which is all before the pain of labor and deliver) it is SO much for woman to tolerate. And yet, we feel bad bc our DH doesnt get his rocks off? (Mind you - there IS masturbation.) I am not saying that I dont appreciate my DH - I do very much - I am very lucky - I even still get flowers EVERY week! But I feel like I am sacrificing a lot here. And not using me to ejaculate (unless I feel like it for my own reasons) is a very small sacrifice to make - in the physical sense - during this time. I really honestly do not feel bad for him at all.

And of course, you know, birthdays - fathers'd day - or a little "I love you and thank you" gesture is nice - ad I am compelled - but I dont feel one once of guilt if I dont!


Am I wrong here? I hear SOS much about the sympathy for poor DH's sex life that I am starting to wonder if my thinking is the strange one. Maybe I should feel bad for him?


Or not.
That's actually really interesting and I hadn't thought about it like that before. I think for me, personally, I see all the unpleasant aspects of pregnancy as a separate aspect of the relationship from sex. I definitely feel like I'm sacrificing a whole lot being pregnant and there's so much that I have to go through that he doesn't have to deal with. And I completely think that he should worship the ground I walk on because of it .


Then I think I see sex as something totally different. Actually I should also say that I agree with you and that's why I don't feel bad and I continue to lie on my left side and drink water and watch Bravo. However for me, outside of this weird pregnancy twilight zone, I totally need to have sex to feel connected. So I can imagine that if there are women out there who are in relationships with men who feel that way, they would feel bad because they are keeping the man from feeling connected. I guess to describe it for me, sex is fun obviously, but the relationship is off if sexytime isn't happening. I'm not sure I'm describing it accurately.
__________________
Heather


DD- 4 years, May 2010
Reply With Quote
  #25  
June 25th, 2014, 08:10 PM
bandriessen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,084
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urchin View Post
Fluconozole is an oral pill and should not be taken during pregnancy. Only vaginal creams are safe.


Since it' a 1 time dose of 150 mg many doctors prescribe it and we fill prescriptions weekly. If you want to you can get it in a cream form, but it's the same medication. My doctor will not prescribe it in the first trimester.


But you should only do what you're comfortable with.
__________________


TEAM BLUE!!!

Due September 5, 2014
Reply With Quote
  #26  
June 25th, 2014, 08:32 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 321
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caerus View Post
Well, in our relationship, we don't masturbate. Neither of us, ever. If he wants something, he has to involve me (and vice versa). We also don't look at porn. DH's "love language" is touch, so we decided a long time ago that we didn't want anything that could get in the way of us being intimate. I know that is unusual. And hey, he has sympathy for the discomforts I'm going through too. It isn't a one-way street.

That said, we definitely haven't been doing things as often as usual, not by a long shot. On top of my growing discomfort with my belly getting in the way, it is officially summertime, which means tourist season, which means DH is putting in a LOT of overtime. Poor guy is always tired. Hopefully he'll adjust to the hours soon.

I can't believe I just typed all this in an open forum.


It is not unusual, we have the samething. We include each other in everything we do intimately. And we do not watch porn, luckily my hubby doesnt like it.

For everyone:
I feel that making love is a very important part of a marriage/relationship. Intimacy keeps things lively and fresh.
You just need to find the right way for you to be comfy and happy while dtd. I have found lying on my side while he is in a cuddling position is comfy, try it maybe it will help
Caerus and Thankfulhelpmeet like this.

Last edited by carlyknudtson; June 25th, 2014 at 08:35 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #27  
June 26th, 2014, 08:27 AM
Shades of Grey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Utah
Posts: 11,305
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kayakgirl View Post
No action here since March. Yeah, what a shame. Not that we haven't wanted to, but we're kind of scared to. I was put on pelvic bedrest at the end of the 2nd trimester last time around due to an unfortunate incident that sent me to the hospital one night - apparently in the middle of the action a blood vessel down there ruptured and I bled uncontrollably for hours - and I ruined my bedroom carpet, the sheets, the mattress... Not interested in going through that again, and I think it scared my husband good so we're just sacrificing this time around.
OMG How scary! I am sure that would have be too scared too! Thats horrible.
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for my awesome siggy!


I am peace, full of unconditional love. I am confident and in tune with the Divine, receptive to guidance.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
June 26th, 2014, 08:40 AM
lemieuxcrew's Avatar September DDC Rocks
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 1,325
Oh no no no no porn! lol. Not that at all. But if he is desperate, and I am unwilling, and things happen in the shower....well, I just don't care. I dont mind affairs with the soap.....HAHA! I have no idea if that happens or not, honestly! But I would find it reasonable if I found out.

And I guess - well, I guess I define intimacy to include a back massage, or holding hands a lot, cuddling every night in front of the TV. So I dont feel like we dont have ways to connect that inst necessarily without clothes.


But I think these are all really great answers and I do see it a little more broadly now. (Narrowly speaking though? I still dont feel guilty! lol)


Oh - and I have no idea on the yeast infection thing!
angelinal09 likes this.
__________________
________________________________
Terra - proud mama, lucky wife, and a happy treehugger!
DS - Chase (June 2005), DD - RoseLynn (June 2012), DH - Frederic (married October 2010) Ophelia due September 2014, born 36.5 weeks on 8/17 at 5 lbs 10 oz


Reply With Quote
  #29  
June 26th, 2014, 08:42 AM
Urchin's Avatar Loving every minute.
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Atlantic Canada
Posts: 8,244
*ducks*
Am I the only one who has no issue on the porn/masturbation front?

Heck, the Playboy network is probably a huge reason why I got pregnant when I did. haha
__________________
Thank-you Bokkechick for the beautiful siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #30  
June 26th, 2014, 08:58 AM
Shades of Grey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Utah
Posts: 11,305
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlyingFlower View Post
I definitely feel like I'm sacrificing a whole lot being pregnant and there's so much that I have to go through that he doesn't have to deal with. And I completely think that he should worship the ground I walk on because of it .


^This. I am sacrificing more than he could understand. This is my 3rd pregnancy and the first time I have had ANY sort of sex drive while pregnant. I do not and did not feel bad that he didnt get sex as much as he wanted it then. I was so super sick, lost way too much weight, threw up for hours every day, totally effected my teeth, dealt with sciatica, not to mention ANYthing related to actual labor and delivery, recovery... Sex was the absolute last thing I wanted.


I do agree that sex keeps the intimacy in a relationship, but he should also understand and find other ways to connect during times that physical is not an option (or offered)
FlyingFlower likes this.
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for my awesome siggy!


I am peace, full of unconditional love. I am confident and in tune with the Divine, receptive to guidance.
Reply With Quote
  #31  
June 26th, 2014, 09:04 AM
kto1111's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 949
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urchin View Post
*ducks*
Am I the only one who has no issue on the porn/masturbation front?

Heck, the Playboy network is probably a huge reason why I got pregnant when I did. haha
I'm fine with it too. And I know it's a regular occurrence. haha. We're really open about that stuff. I wish I had more of a drive (even when not pregnant) so I'm comfortable with DH getting his rocks off that way if he needs to.


As far as this pregnancy, we're good for at least once a week. It's not always intercourse but we get the job done one way or the other.


But I'm also not great with showing affection in general so I'm always trying to do better with that. Even just giving DH a hug and kiss when one of us gets home from work. And cuddling up while we watch TV... even that is uncomfortable these days.
__________________
Katie

DD - Nov '11

DD#2 - EDD 9/29
Reply With Quote
  #32  
June 26th, 2014, 09:44 AM
topato's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Western PA
Posts: 1,377
urchin-- thats one part of the reason why i haven't jumped in here! i definitely feel like a crazy-freak-pervert after reading a lot of these responses!
__________________
Kat!
Momma to Big Harv, est. 2013
and Dar the Rock Star, est. 2014
Reply With Quote
  #33  
June 26th, 2014, 09:45 AM
Buda's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Providence, RI
Posts: 315
Unfortunately there has not been much gettin down happening in my house. Not to say we haven't tried. This baby has been so low this entire pregnancy. There is so much pressure and even a little bit of attention down there is incredibly irritable. I fear there's not much I can do to make it enjoyable for myself, and my boyfriend has been totally respectful in that department. He can watch porn and do what he needs to do, that doesn't bother me in the least.
__________________
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #34  
June 26th, 2014, 09:56 AM
FlyingFlower's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 1,121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urchin View Post
*ducks*
Am I the only one who has no issue on the porn/masturbation front?

Heck, the Playboy network is probably a huge reason why I got pregnant when I did. haha
No, I'm totally fine with it. Especially since when I'm working I'm only home 3 days a week. But even if I was home full time I'd be fine with it. I know a few guys where porn has affected their sex lives negatively. But until it gets to that point, and I don't think it ever will with DH, I really don't care.
__________________
Heather


DD- 4 years, May 2010
Reply With Quote
  #35  
June 26th, 2014, 10:00 AM
Urchin's Avatar Loving every minute.
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Atlantic Canada
Posts: 8,244
Quote:
Originally Posted by topato View Post
urchin-- thats one part of the reason why i haven't jumped in here! i definitely feel like a crazy-freak-pervert after reading a lot of these responses!
Haha! That's how I was feeling too!
topato likes this.
__________________
Thank-you Bokkechick for the beautiful siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #36  
June 26th, 2014, 10:36 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 321
Well things are a bit different in my marriage, i want it all the time and he doesn't. so if we dont have it , its him. And that is why we don't do the porn/masturbation , i would be very upset if im trying to get some loving and he already did it by himself. Its a little different cause of pregnancy but still about the same. So if i turn him down a couple times, he can wait. I do
Reply With Quote
  #37  
June 26th, 2014, 11:35 AM
lemieuxcrew's Avatar September DDC Rocks
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 1,325
I'm going to pop some popcorn. This is getting good!!!

PS - I'm pretty liberal. Flicks just aren't our thing. Yet? Lol. I may start feeling insecure if it was watched without me.
__________________
________________________________
Terra - proud mama, lucky wife, and a happy treehugger!
DS - Chase (June 2005), DD - RoseLynn (June 2012), DH - Frederic (married October 2010) Ophelia due September 2014, born 36.5 weeks on 8/17 at 5 lbs 10 oz


Reply With Quote
  #38  
June 26th, 2014, 04:01 PM
SouthernMamaBri's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Somewhere In Georgia
Posts: 1,593
Send a message via AIM to SouthernMamaBri Send a message via MSN to SouthernMamaBri Send a message via Skype™ to SouthernMamaBri
I was advised by my OB earlier in the pregnancy to hold off but 3 weeks ago, he cleared me and well I've been at DH when it's usually the other way around lol He's still not into it as he's scared but we've managed it at least once a weeks since my OB said it's ok. I can deal with that
__________________

Thanks Jaidynsmum for my AMAZING siggie!
Reply With Quote
  #39  
June 26th, 2014, 07:18 PM
FlyingFlower's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 1,121
Quote:
Originally Posted by lemieuxcrew View Post
I'm going to pop some popcorn. This is getting good!!!

PS - I'm pretty liberal. Flicks just aren't our thing. Yet? Lol. I may start feeling insecure if it was watched without me.
I'm totally the opposite. If he wants to explore some kind of weird kinky thing that I'm not into and would freak me out but he would never want to do in real life, have it and don't tell me about it.
__________________
Heather


DD- 4 years, May 2010
Reply With Quote
  #40  
June 27th, 2014, 08:12 AM
Shades of Grey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Utah
Posts: 11,305
Im not ANTI, but its not really part of our lives. If I say no, Im fine with him taking care of himself. Though honestly, I have no idea if/when/how often that really happens. He doesnt tell me. As for porn, I would not be thrilled with him watching anything on his own. I wanna be part of whatever happens there.
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for my awesome siggy!


I am peace, full of unconditional love. I am confident and in tune with the Divine, receptive to guidance.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:15 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0