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since when are people entitled to be in delivery room?!


Forum: September 2014 Playroom

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  #21  
August 18th, 2014, 08:31 AM
KHawk's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 746
I'm so sorry... I would be hurt... I would give her her space... let her calm down. And when you can just tell her that you love her... you want her there as soon as possible to meet the baby, but that the delivery itself is a moment for you and your husband. If that's what you decide. It all depends on when they are born, during visiting hours or not, but she will be there and be important.

I'm sure she's nervous... and sounds like she's struggling a bit. I'm sure she's worried for you and a million other things, but that doesn't justify her hatefulness to you. Hopefully, she realizes that was wrong and apologizes.
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  #22  
August 18th, 2014, 09:20 AM
kto1111's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 949
I'm glad she at least no longer expects to be in the room with you. You definitely have the right to say no and keep those private moments between you and DH.

Thankfully my mom has never expressed desire to be in the room, but my MIL is all about it. She's a nurse practitioner in the trauma center at the hospital I was going to be delivering at. And then when I switched doctors/hospitals, she said "well I want to be there then"... as if she will help provide L&D care? Um, no thanks! It makes me not want to even tell anyone I'm in labor on the chance they might just show up. And actually, that was our plan with DD except she came too late and I ended up with a scheduled induction that everyone knew about.
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  #23  
August 18th, 2014, 09:35 PM
Mslily1125's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm just now seeing this, so please forgive my delayed response.

I'm dealing with a similar issue with my sister. We were close years ago, all the way up until a bf of mine cheated on me with her. I didn't talk to her at all for several years, and we only just started talking again when I found out I was pregnant.


With all that history, she was still shocked when I said that no one would be in the room with me except for DF. Like, she actually made a sad face and gawked at me and I swear she was on the verge of big fat fake tears.


I simply looked her in the eye and said, "what on earth about me or our relationship would make you think that I would have you in the room while I push a human out of my vagina?"


I later had a conversation with her and explained that I am in control of my life, and I am the ONLY person who is entitled to make my life decisions, and that anyone who tries to guilt trip me for making a decision like who will be in the room when my baby is born, clearly does not have my best interest at heart.


She has stopped asking since then.
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  #24  
August 19th, 2014, 12:54 AM
Caerus's Avatar Happy as a (Tired) Clam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mslily1125 View Post
I simply looked her in the eye and said, "what on earth about me or our relationship would make you think that I would have you in the room while I push a human out of my vagina?"






You go, girl. I have a lot of sympathy for those of you struggling with this, I can't imagine how hard it must be to have to deal with stuff like this in your families. We aren't planning to tell anyone Rachel is born until she is here, except for my parents (obviously Mom will be there, since she is my OBGYN). I'm not completely sure how easy it will be to kick my mom out of the room after delivery lol, but we are planning on having at least an hour or two with just the three of us.
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  #25  
August 19th, 2014, 07:48 AM
Mslily1125's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think it's so important to have that family bonding time right after delivery, and with your mom being an OB/Gyn, I'll bet she feels that way too.
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  #26  
August 19th, 2014, 03:03 PM
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Location: Mobile, AL
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Talk to a nurse as soon as you get there. Make up a code word with her. It could be something as simple as "milk." If you use that in a sentence to her like, "I really wish I could have some milk right now." Then she knows it means you want visitors out of the room and will take care of them. This was something suggested to me by a friend who is a nurse so they look like the bad guy and not you!
Caerus, Mslily1125 and Jenn-F like this.
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  #27  
August 20th, 2014, 05:39 AM
Mslily1125's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I love that! Hopefully I get a cool enough nurse to play along lol
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