Log In Sign Up

Baby visitor rules


Forum: Due Date Club of November 2014

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree77Likes

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Due Date Club of November 2014 LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
April 12th, 2014, 04:31 PM
tmmgeekette's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 187
Send a message via AIM to tmmgeekette
Just curious to know what everybody's baby visitor rules are/will be when baby comes.

Due to some events this weekend while attempting to see our newborn nephew, I'm curious to know what everyone's thoughts are on this topic. Assume for a moment you have given birth to your first child. You have opted to breastfeed and he has reached the age of 3 weeks of age.

You have a close family member on the way to visit and meet this child for the first time. The family member is coming with his 2 kids and wife. On the morning of the visit, he falls sick with a head cold and he chooses not to go but to sent his wife and kids along (who are not showing any signs of being sick).

What would you do?

Possible options are:
A) you allow the sick family member to come anyway.
B) you allow the wife to come with the kids, but not the sick family member.
C) you tell the entire family they can't come because you feel they have all been exposed

What do you think is the correct move to make considering the newborn is healthy and has no medical issues at all to date?
__________________
-Tania

DD1 - Jada (10)
DD2 - Maya (7)

Baby3 - Due on Turkey Day, 2014



Reply With Quote
  #2  
April 12th, 2014, 04:46 PM
jellis82's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: AZ
Posts: 764
I would probably say C because the family members could still be carrying the illness even if they aren't showing signs. 3 weeks old is still pretty little to be exposed to yucky germies.

I wanted to add - I don't think my family members would put my newborn at risk by coming over if they were sick (or someone in their household was sick), but if they (rudely) insisted on coming over I would probably have to draw the line.
~*Kixs*~ likes this.
__________________
Jennifer, wife to Manuel Jr., mommy to Jaely (7), Manuel III (2), and baby girl, Isabella Teresa, due November 2014.









Make a pregnancy ticker

Last edited by jellis82; April 12th, 2014 at 07:15 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
April 12th, 2014, 06:09 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,752
I probably wouldn't say anything, but then in my family we are all considerate enough to just everyone stay home if even exposed to illness. It's rude IMO to even put someone in that situation for the new parents to have to say you can't come to visit no matter what child number it is.
__________________
Jamie
Reply With Quote
  #4  
April 12th, 2014, 06:14 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 345
Quote:
Originally Posted by THE angry uterus View Post
I probably wouldn't say anything, but then in my family we are all considerate enough to just everyone stay home if even exposed to illness. It's rude IMO to even put someone in that situation for the new parents to have to say you can't come to visit no matter what child number it is.
This was my thought too. I've never laid down and rules about visiting baby and just assumed people would use common sense. We don't have a lot of people chomping at the bit to visit though either. We don't live near family but even when we did we didn't get a ton of visitors in to see the baby.
__________________




Joy, wife to Glen, mother to 13 year old Sanura, 10 year old Adrian, 8 year old Nevaeh, 6 year old Lincoln, 1 year old Charlotte, and new addition: Harper Ellen coming around Thanksgiving!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
April 12th, 2014, 08:59 PM
MommyOf22014's Avatar Sarah
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: So Cal
Posts: 942
Normally I wouldn't care. I'm not one of those people who are so crazy about germs and stuff. Besides never had that happen anyway most people are considerate of newborns. HOWEVER, since more more more people are not vaccinating their kids. It's allowing a lot of diseases back in the US. So for that alone, I will not expose my baby to anyone this time until their first set of shots. I won't risk it.
MadMay, JuneBugsMom and suzieqz like this.
__________________
Sarah, wife to Jacob & mommy to Landyn (6) and Khloe (5)






Reply With Quote
  #6  
April 12th, 2014, 09:29 PM
JuneBugsMom's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Honolulu Hawaii
Posts: 835
We usually never have a problem since we are far from family. However we are moving back home in august with lots of touchy Inlaws it's going to drive me nuts when they want to pass around the baby. Having such a new baby during the holidays is going to be hard...
__________________
Laura, mommy to 3 girls!!!

It's a Girl!!!


Reply With Quote
  #7  
April 13th, 2014, 02:38 AM
NYCgirl's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Posts: 964
When I had my first we did have a few visitors in the birthing center. EVERYONE washes hands. My mom had a cold and she just washed her hands and wore a mask by choice. She didn't need to. I was breastfeeding and my rule was I had to shake hands and hug everyone who wanted to hold the baby. I figured if I had the germs too baby would be fine because I was bf'ing. If you have lots of people never feel funny about hand washing as a norm. Have the antibacterial gel pumps in lots of locations in the home were visitors can help themselves.By the time my fourth came around however... LOL

Wearing the baby in a sling is another way to keep peoples hands OFF. Also teach older siblings to touch the baby's toes/ feet. NOT their little hands.
THE angry uterus likes this.
__________________
Kelly
Mommy to Jack 11, Christopher 9, Kaitlyn 7, and
Ryan 18 months.





Reply With Quote
  #8  
April 13th, 2014, 08:51 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,752
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCgirl View Post
Wearing the baby in a sling is another way to keep peoples hands OFF. Also teach older siblings to touch the baby's toes/ feet. NOT their little hands.
Teach all visitors to touch feet vs hands and face!
__________________
Jamie
Reply With Quote
  #9  
April 13th, 2014, 05:08 PM
michelleH's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 842
I would assume that anyone from a sick household would not come to visit a newborn. However, I am not a germ-o-phobe, so probably won't overly stress about it. We are planning to delay / spread out vaccines, so the vaccine status of other people isn't really relevant to me. Vaccinated people can and do carry the illnesses they are vaccinated for.
MindyRambo likes this.
__________________
--Michelle

One angel baby - 1/22/14
Rainbow baby due 11/13/14

Affiliate Photographer for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep - Infant Remembrance Photography
Reply With Quote
  #10  
April 13th, 2014, 07:35 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 111
A agree with the concerns of so many not vaccinating. But really as far as colds are concerned.... well, when I brought my son home from the hospital his 1 year old sister had a cold and I have pictures of her holding him. You can't really avoid immediate family members illness. The thing is, can't really put them in a bubble either though. But then I do have people wash there hands til baby is 6 weeks. Well gosh that was a whole lot of indecisiveness wasn't it? People really are pretty respectful to not get a new baby sick.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #11  
April 13th, 2014, 10:24 PM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Bay area CA
Posts: 6,046
Honesty I hate having people over when I am recovering or have a new babe LOL! We have a large network of friends and family and I hide from them all esp. after birthing (even 3 wks later altho I have a c/s).
I would probably let them come over but hope that they wouldn't and would all just come later as a family when everyone was healthy.
THE angry uterus likes this.
__________________
Lucy
Due with #3
10 IUIs= one confirmed /IVF= BFN / FET= / FET2= Baby!
My blog


Reply With Quote
  #12  
April 14th, 2014, 07:33 AM
The Purple Butterfly's Avatar Stacey
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 10,061
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyOf22014 View Post
Normally I wouldn't care. I'm not one of those people who are so crazy about germs and stuff. Besides never had that happen anyway most people are considerate of newborns. HOWEVER, since more more more people are not vaccinating their kids. It's allowing a lot of diseases back in the US. So for that alone, I will not expose my baby to anyone this time until their first set of shots. I won't risk it.
You should research before commenting in this way. Vaccinated children get and pass disease. The population of unvaccinated children is an extremely small number. Though I do ask, if your baby is vaccinated and vaccines offer immunity, why do you care if unvaccinated children are around? What does it matter? Your concern should then only be for the child who isn't vaccinated.


An article of interest... Measles Outbreak Traced to Fully Vaccinated Patient for First Time | Science/AAAS | News
__________________

Stacey, wife to Allan & Mom to:
~Anastasia (14) C/S, 8lbs 7oz, 20.5"~
Noah (11) C/S, 8lbs 12oz, 19"~
Oliver (5) VBA2C, 7lbs 3oz, 19.5" ~ Grayson (10/16/13) 2VBA2C, 9lbs 12oz, 22"
born sleeping at 39w pg; Protein C def, FVL, PAI-1 , & MTHFR
Lavender Kate (5/20/14) 2.5oz, 6" Lost at 16w


Reply With Quote
  #13  
April 14th, 2014, 08:30 AM
michelleH's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 842
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Purple Butterfly View Post
You should research before commenting in this way. Vaccinated children get and pass disease. The population of unvaccinated children is an extremely small number. Though I do ask, if your baby is vaccinated and vaccines offer immunity, why do you care if unvaccinated children are around? What does it matter? Your concern should then only be for the child who isn't vaccinated.
Well said.


__________________
--Michelle

One angel baby - 1/22/14
Rainbow baby due 11/13/14

Affiliate Photographer for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep - Infant Remembrance Photography
Reply With Quote
  #14  
April 14th, 2014, 09:11 AM
MommyOf22014's Avatar Sarah
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: So Cal
Posts: 942
The number of unvaccinated isn't that small actually. That's why in CA we are having huge outbreaks of three different diseases. I'm speaking for my family. And I shouldnt getting chewed out because of my feelings and decisions on it I don't chew people out for not vaccinating. And your question doesn't make sense because I didn't say I wouldn't ever have kids unvaccinated around. I said just until my child has their shots.
__________________
Sarah, wife to Jacob & mommy to Landyn (6) and Khloe (5)






Reply With Quote
  #15  
April 14th, 2014, 09:24 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,752
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Purple Butterfly View Post
You should research before commenting in this way. Vaccinated children get and pass disease. The population of unvaccinated children is an extremely small number. Though I do ask, if your baby is vaccinated and vaccines offer immunity, why do you care if unvaccinated children are around? What does it matter? Your concern should then only be for the child who isn't vaccinated.


An article of interest... Measles Outbreak Traced to Fully Vaccinated Patient for First Time | Science/AAAS | News


I have both vaccinated and delayed vaccinating. I feel like it is a legitimate concern for parents of newborns to not want unvaccinated children around the baby. Not to offend, but that child is more likely to bring a mumps/measles, etc. to a newborn child then a vaccinated child. If you choose to not vaccinate or to vaccinate your child, that is your choice and I really don't care. I used to be full on anti-vacing, but for some reason these past few weeks I started to consider the arguments and FB memes "Tell me again how my unvaccinated child is a threat to your vaccinated child". Simply to me, its a threat to the very young who are unable to be vaccinated if the parents so choose and who are at a higher risk of death or serious injury because of the unvaccinated.


I'm not going to argue the topic or "debate" it. To me, these are support forums and if I dont' see something I don't like, I will just back out and shut up. Its "debates" and discussions like this that kills forums and makes it no fun for ME to visit. Just my Carry on with your days, lol.
__________________
Jamie
Reply With Quote
  #16  
April 14th, 2014, 09:34 AM
MommyOf22014's Avatar Sarah
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: So Cal
Posts: 942
Yeah I was going to say that because this is the second time I got chewed out for vaccinating. The first time I got an ear full and trying to change my mind. That has ruined 4 friendships of mine. I don't agree with not vaccinating but WILL never push anyone into my way of thinking. If this continues I will probably stay off JM. I find it very offending and unfair because I do not do that to anyone else, even if I disagree. Just because I don't agree with not vaccinating I don't send links and such to the other person. I let it be. And wish people would do the same.
THE angry uterus and jellis82 like this.
__________________
Sarah, wife to Jacob & mommy to Landyn (6) and Khloe (5)






Reply With Quote
  #17  
April 14th, 2014, 09:39 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,752
I left my DDC with DS1 back in the day due to overly strong opinionated women. It was a shame. I missed the support. I had/have such an amazing DDC that is still very active with DS2! No one threw out any opinions or judgement over the way any of us wanted to parent. I have no problem leaving another DDC if this is what it turns out to be and I already have MichelleH on my ignore list.
__________________
Jamie
Reply With Quote
  #18  
April 14th, 2014, 09:44 AM
MommyOf22014's Avatar Sarah
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: So Cal
Posts: 942
I may have to so that because I'm getting tired of it. It's ruining the experience.
jellis82 likes this.
__________________
Sarah, wife to Jacob & mommy to Landyn (6) and Khloe (5)






Reply With Quote
  #19  
April 14th, 2014, 09:52 AM
jellis82's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: AZ
Posts: 764
Quote:
Originally Posted by THE angry uterus View Post


I'm not going to argue the topic or "debate" it. To me, these are support forums and if I dont' see something I don't like, I will just back out and shut up. Its "debates" and discussions like this that kills forums and makes it no fun for ME to visit. Just my Carry on with your days, lol.
THIS is well said! I think one of the reasons this forum hasn't been very much fun is because there is too much "picking" at other people by certain members. Everyone can have their own opinions, it just bothers me when someone thinks they are so much more "right" than another person that they feel the need to call them out on it. It's called an opinion for a reason, you don't have to try to persuade them to your line of thinking. There have been several times in the last few weeks I have thought of deleting my profile off of here because I just think I can't stand seeing the arguing or bashing any longer.
__________________
Jennifer, wife to Manuel Jr., mommy to Jaely (7), Manuel III (2), and baby girl, Isabella Teresa, due November 2014.









Make a pregnancy ticker
Reply With Quote
  #20  
April 14th, 2014, 11:09 AM
ReaganorDean's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,428
I have to say that I have felt that way too. I don't mind friendly debate, however this holier than thou attitude, and trying to force beliefs on others can be way too much. We're simply stressing our feelings and opinions here, and I don't think that's an invite to be attacked. Everything in parenting can be a sensitive/labeling issue. Kids can be raised to be well adjusted productive members of society in all sorts of environments and it's not my place to judge.


Getting back to the topic at hand, I would probably chose option B. I would allow the family members that are not showing signs of illness.
jellis82 likes this.
__________________
Need a new ticker...
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:23 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0