We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
i never thought it was a choice....i would much rather tear on my own, because i feel doctors are too quick to do things, they might "think" you are going to tear and then you don't...so why have them cut you? just like c-sections, i think doctors are too quick to jump into things.
if they ask, i will tell them to let me do what my body is going to do naturally.
I am going to try perineal massage this time around, too. I have thought about doing it, but it always seemed like more trouble than it was worth (pregnancy makes me lazy ). I would much rather not tear OR be cut, though, so I am going to give it my best this time around.
I have also heard a warm compress can help stretch things easier during delivery. You can even do perineal massage during labor to "prep" so to speak.
Originally Posted by mamaginger
I find that "online" people almost ALWAYS have a completely different opinion than "real life" friends. I'm not sure if it's that "all natural" people are more likely to join online forums or what...lol....but if I ask my real life friends a question, it's always the complete opposite consensus of what I will get from online friends. So just keep that in mind!
Another factor could be location as well. For example, Utah has one of the highest epidural rates in the country. It's in the 95th percentile or so (fluctuates from year to year). So, here I am SOOOOO weird for not getting an epidural. All but one of my friends has had an epidural, so that's what they know and recommend. So if I ask people in my area if I should or should not get an epidural, they would say get it. Whereas if I ask online, I may find more difference of opinion on the subject simply because the people here come from all places, walks of life, experiences, etc. It seems stuff like this tends to trend differently depending on where you live and what the docs and hospitals in your area consider standard care.
I think you can get a pretty good random sampling in a group like this, with no regional demographics at play (Heck! We aren't all even in the U.S.!). No one here is soliciting anything or has anything to benefit or lose from someone else's decisions. We don't even know each other IRL, so we have nothing to gain/lose of you do or don't take the advice given here. Just MHO, though.
I think it's important to ask people in your life (online and IRL) about stuff like this, then to talk with your doc and do your own research to see how you feel about it. We can all say we would rather tear all day long, but if you delve into it and find you are just are not comfortable with that, you need to do what you feel best about, regardless of what anyone says.
I put I'd prefer not to have an episiotomy in my birth plan. (also discussed it with my doctor). I had a 2nd degree tear. It was painful, but it healed just fine in a few months and I have no lasting issues with it.
I've heard depending on how bad its going to tear determines if its better to have a clean cut. with ds they thought it was going to be a bad tear so they did a controlled cut (and I never had any problems), with dd she let me tear because the tear was smaller than a cut would be. (didn't have any problems there either) I guess after being with the same dr for 12 years I've grown to trust her.
My doctor will not do it unless he absolutely has to. I tore all three times 10 stitches the first time. three the second and 1 the third. I didn't even really notice and recovered easily. I would rather have a little tear than a big cut..ouch!
I knew I shouldn't have opened this thread. I didn't tear at all with my first baby, however with Dominic I had a 2nd degree tear. I pushed before the dr was ready to do an episiotomy. I more than likely wouldn't have wanted one anyway if I were asked. But hopefully I won't go through that experience again. It was so painful recovering from those stitches down there.