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I guess I'm supposed to be here..haven't told DH yet

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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November 2nd, 2012, 04:05 PM
TerriLF's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 566
Well my name is Terri and I have 2 kids. A 3 yr old boy and a little girl who will be 2 in January. My husband and I have actively NOT been trying to get pregnant. I was on the pill until a few months ago because I started getting migraines when I started a different pill and we decided I would start charting to see when I ovulated and then use a back up BC until we found out what we were going to do. I want another child, but he doesn't. I charted and told him when I ovulated, and we had a mix up. He thought it was a different week than what I told him and didn't pull out. I have been EXTREMELY tired so I tested this evening and got 2 pink lines. MY DH is also on testosteron so that is supposed to lower your sperm count. At one point he said that if we got pregnant with all this going on than obviously it was meant to be, but I'm still worried he is going to be upset. I am also worried his family is going to think I tricked him into another baby because everyone knows I want one more and he didnt. I am a nervous wreck. I am only 6 DPO so I'm very early, but I know I need to tell my DH tonight. He is a great dad and perfect husband, I just feel bad almost for this happening when it isn't what he wants. I want to be excited, but can't because I know he isn't going to be.. I guess I will be getting to know all of you though and I'm so glad to have this board. I have been a member for a few months.

Any one have experience with a husband that wasn't exactly thrilled at the beginning????
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November 2nd, 2012, 04:18 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Northeast Georgia
Posts: 2,144
I haven't personally but I had a friend who wanted a third very badly and even though her husband said he didn't want another, he didn't use condoms as religiously as he should. When they got pregnant with their third, he was ambivalent at first but quickly warmed up to the idea. He might act weird at first but he will probably grow used to the idea and get excited with you.

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November 2nd, 2012, 04:18 PM
pearlica's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,442
Yup been there! Our first was an on birth control shock. When I told my boyfriend at the time (husband now) I think he thought his life was over. We had been together 4 years but this just wasnt part of the plan and we are both obsessive planners! It took a couple weeks for him to adjust to our new life plan and there were some tense moments but it didnt take long before we were both super excited. Now we cant imagine life without her and my husband says he's so glad we got accidentally pregnant because we just didnt realized it was the perfect time

Its a tough conversation to have but I'm sure he will come around soon enough!
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November 2nd, 2012, 05:03 PM
The Lesha's Avatar Avada Kedavra
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,412
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sometimes he says he doesnt want another but he really does. i hope things go well with your dh tonight, I am almost certain he will be ecstatic! KUP!

Thank you *Kiliki* for my gorgeous siggie!
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November 3rd, 2012, 09:04 AM
*Kiliki*'s Avatar i have absolute power
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: By a Cornfield, Nebraska
Posts: 26,495
our last baby wasn't planned i did the same as you charted and temped to avoid pregnancy....and well that didnt work out so well....lol he wasn't surprised though when i told him cause right after he didnt pull out i was like "uhh do you know what you just did?" so he knew there was a huge chance i would be pregnant....lol it was just a spur of the moment thing....i think he cannot be too upset A he didnt pull out and B he wasn't using a condom...it takes 2 to tango...

Kristy, wife to Karl 6.16.01, Mom to Raianna 12.7.00, Elyse 12.3.02 and Helena 7.20.07, step-mom to Frankie 7.3.97 and step-grandma to October 3.9.15

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November 3rd, 2012, 02:41 PM
TerriLF's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 566
Well I told him this morning and he didn't say much for a few hours. But this it was because he thought I was upset and I thought he was upset. He said there isn't anything to be upset about. We are still really nervouse about adding another child to the mix when we have several home projects going on, but it will work out one way or another...
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November 3rd, 2012, 05:24 PM
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 13
We were in the same boat. Neither really wanted another but here we are. I had a scare a couple months ago and I was dreading having to tell him. I subtly brought it up and he had kind of said that if it happens it happens and we would figure out the money. We lucked out that month (DH isn't good about the back up BC during my O) but I ended up with a BFP this month. We were both kind of in "uh oh" mode for the first week, but we are excited now. I'm glad your DH is happy too!
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November 3rd, 2012, 09:47 PM
PrettyMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Nevada
Posts: 2,949
Had the same issue with my last two pregnancies. My hubby was ok but I cried because I was on the pill both times and already had two toddlers the first time and then 3 toddlers the next time it happened! But I missed a day on my pills and should have known there was a chance. We quickly got use to it and our son has been such a joy in addition to the other 4 we already had. We lost the last baby just when the excitement once again set in. It was so hard for us that we actively tried again and now we are due in July! This is our last one though, it makes 6 for us and the last four are right behind each other. It will work out just fine for you guys I'm sure.

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November 4th, 2012, 07:31 AM
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 82
Congrats! I'm glad he wasn't mad about it. It will all work out and you will have a beautiful baby!
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November 4th, 2012, 07:33 AM
Mandamail88's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 674
I'm so happy he wasn't upset - men can be so confusing sometimes - they're weird.

Now you can just focus on a HAPPY 9 months

Adam & Amanda
Our First
July 8, 2013

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