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42, looking for support from other older moms

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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November 11th, 2012, 10:38 PM
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1
Well, I am 42, and I really didn't think we'd be able to get pregnant. DH is 43 and diabetic, but otherwise healthy... the main thing is our ages. So I was SUPER surprised to realize my period was missing... one day turned into two, two turned into three... I recalculated, and three turned into two, lol since I've been having 29 day periods over the past three months. Still, two days late, of COURSE my intentions to wait til I'd be a week late went out the door and I had to go get a pregnancy test. Oddly, when I first read it, it said positive, then that line faded to negative, so I did the second one, and it was a stronger positive. Hopefully it doesn't fade so DH can have a look for himself. We weren't trying, but we weren't preventing, and that's only been going on two months. I am hoping, dreaming for a boy, we've got 5 girls between us, ages 17 to 4. I have had visions of a little tow headed mama's boy, lol. We'll see, with a record like 5 girls, what are the odds of having a boy?

So the last time I was pregnant, at the age of 38, it seemed like I was one of the oldest moms on the boards I was on. There was one 47 year old (wow) who dropped off, and I never got to really know her. I finally dropped off due to depression from some of the more negative discussions like whether spanking is appropriate or not, and I'm on the "not" side, not popular. I had to quit surrounding myself with that.

This will be my 4th pregnancy, my older two girls are my step daughters (wedding gifts from my husband, right?), so I kind of know what to expect there. From what I remember of my last pregnancy, it was miserable, and I said I'd never do it again! So here I am, pregnant. I feel like I am pretty healthy. I'd like to do better at giving up the diet dr pepper, just to improve the odds, and I'm already overweight, but my last pregnancies, I managed to gain less than 15 pounds with each. I read somewhere that some doctors have put their overweight pregnant patients on diets, successfully, so I am going to ask my doctor about that, but I'll bet my ancient doctor says no... I've got to change doctors, DH says they're quacks, and I tend to agree with him.

I'm already finding some smells offensive, and I'm so TIRED. But no other symptoms just yet, other than perhaps some breast tenderness, which I always feel in the tissue, never in the nipples. Oh, weirdly, they looked bigger to me...is that even possible? Got to be my imagination! I'll have to ask DH.

I'm not sure how active I can be on here, and if the talk turns overly negative/confrontational, I guarantee I will have to get off and stay off, more for my own emotional health. I am already moody. In fact, when I found out today, I called my husband and said "I'm not moody due to PMS, I'm moody because I'm pregnant." His answer? "Oh. Ok." He thanked me for not telling anyone else first (a problem with my first, in which I told his ex wife moments before I told him, lol)

I'm going to have to figure out how to skirt the alcohol issue, I have one friend in particular that drinks a lot herself, and I think she delights in getting me drunk... a few of my friends do, evidently I'm a "fun drunk" Oh joy. We don't want to tell anyone because of the m/c issue obviously. But I'm not a wine drinker, so the trick in another thread is not really going to be something I can pull off. Got to find another way to "fake it" Oh I know, I'm going on a diet, and that diet includes no alcohol! There we go.

I'm also wondering how to deal with rude comments like "You know how babies are made, don't you?" Duh, we just happen to really like children!

So now that you know what a windbag, ahem, writer I am, please share your stories with me, too. Even if you're a young mom on her first child. Some days I just feel so OLD, so don't make me feel old, lol... some of you young moms are only a year or two older than my oldest daughter, who is going to FREAK when we tell her we're pregnant again. She won't be happy. But then, she'll be out of the house by the time the baby's born (thank God, too...but that's another discussion for another board) Thanks!
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November 11th, 2012, 10:55 PM
PrettyMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Nevada
Posts: 2,949
Hi and welcome! Sorry I'm 33 but I still understand. People keep asking us when we are going to stop and why I would want to keep putting my body through it and blah blah freakin blah. I think your age is just fine, my grandmother had her last at 48 and my little aunt was healthy as ever. My husband is 40 and we are clearly still at it, lol. I think you will find tons of support here from all the ladies, I know I sure have. Wishing you a healthy and happy 9 months and many hugs!

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November 11th, 2012, 11:43 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 567
Hi, and congrats! I hope you get your little boy.

I'm nearly 38 and DH is five years older. We were trying to get pregnant, but still surprised when it happened the first month! I'm also hoping for a boy, but for practical reasons. I have a son, so a girl would actually be nice to balance things out, just more expensive.

I'm surprised people took issue with your non-spanking stance. I thought things were trending in the opposite direction. Well, anyway, I haven't seen any confrontations here so far. I hope you'll feel happy in the group.
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November 12th, 2012, 05:17 AM
BeachMum's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 4,219
Welcome. I'll be 33 in a few weeks, but everyone thought 2 babies were enough. SO we'll be shocking the pants off of everyone when we announce. We were going through fertility treatments with the other 4.
Mom of 2 girls and 3 boys
Missing my 4 angels too precious for this earth: 2/22/04, 12/13/06, 4/22/08, 11/16/12

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November 12th, 2012, 05:33 AM
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 495
I'm 38 (will be 39 when this kid is born) and have two kids already, so yeah, I get where you're coming from totally.

As for the drinking thing (I feel qualified to speak because I drink pretty often when I'm not preggers), what's your usual poison? If it's mixed drinks, they're generally usually easy to fake with a "mocktail." If it's beer, there are non-alcoholic versions that maybe you can pour into a couple of rinsed beer bottles beforehand. If you're at a bar or club, make friends with the bartender. Explain your predicament and most will either pour you a non-alcoholic beer into a draft glass or make you a fake cocktail.

I don't think I'll get any of the "you know what causes that?" comments, since I only have two other kids and I actually think my family would like us to have more. I'm fortunate that my friends/family tend to be supportive overall. I suppose I'll get a few raised eyebrows... but I don't care. People can think what they want.

Personally, I am a lousy pregnant woman, meaning I find the physical part of it very difficult. The extra weight, the sickness, the discomfort... I'm usually a cranky bear all throughout pregnancy! lol The end result is worth it, of course, but I'm not too keen on the journey.

Good luck! The ladies here seem very nice and supportive, so I think you'll find this a good bunch of fellow pregnant people.
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November 12th, 2012, 10:23 PM
LeslieRN72's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Indiana
Posts: 194
Hello! Sorry I didn't catch this earlier! I am 40. I am pregnant with my third. This was very much planned. Every single person who we have told has given us the shocked look and asked if it was an accident. I live in the Midwest and most people started having babies very early, whereas I had my first at 32. I just tell people I'm not concerned about being an older parent. We live longer healthier lives (I do). I just decided to do things opposite. We got all our "to dos" out of the way when I was young. It won't be grueling watching everyone else get their kids out of the house so they can be free to do all the stuff we already did in our twenties.

Congratulations! Be happy and enjoy yourself. I am sick with 1st trimester stuff, but I still feel excited and extremely lucky!
I am a laid back 40 Year old wife and mother to Alex (6/9/04) and Matthew (6/11/10). Charlie was born 6/28/13

Everybody has their own way of doing things and raising their children. No one way is better than the other. The end product will be the same no matter what path you take, and never let anyone make you feel otherwise.
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November 13th, 2012, 06:20 AM
bklynfinest77's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 722
im 34 dh is 38 and we are pg with out 4th im sure people are going to think we are crazy cause the kids are going to be so far apart .. this pgancy wasnt plan but we think it a blessing ... this day and age you have to annoy anyone that not happy for you.
Imani mom of 4

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