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With my pregnancies, the first trimester is always a swirl of getting used to the idea of having a (another) baby, so I'm right there with you. I feel like I emotionally break it down into trimesters too:
1st: Whoa, I'm having a baby!
2nd: This is my baby (feeling movement does a lot for me)
3rd: I have so much to do before this baby comes!
All that to say, I hear you. With my second I really struggled through wrapping my mind around loving another child as much as I loved my first. Shoot, I had a hard time even picturing it being a different person than my first son.
Since their births, I've had two losses this year on top of several other life changes so I know I'm keeping a big distance from this pregnancy right now and probably won't let my self begin to connect for a while.
Oh that is a great way to put it!
I think subconsciously I am protecting myself emotionally. I wish that all of us could have maintained our "pregnancy innocence" but regardless of how far Along you were a Loss is a loss and will always change you.
Photographer, Doula, artist, crunchy birthy lady who loves music, dancing, laughing and being a dork
with my daughter I was attached in the first trimester because I was so scared of losing her . When she was born it was instant connection . My favorite quote is this "before you were formed in the womb, I knew you". This is how I felt when she was in my arms.
I felt the same way as you did with my first. When she was born, I also did not cry. I was extremely happy that she was finally born but I really didnt get emotional until the dust settled and I took her home with me. Once I had some time with her and getting our routine established, then I felt attached like ok she really is my baby and I really do love her!
As for this second baby, im not sure how to feel right now. Im not so sure how I will be able to spread mommy love around to two kids when Ive been giving my mommy love to my daughter for 3 years. I guess it's not as hard as I think it will be, maybe im just stressing myself out LOL
This is terrible and I no longer feel this way, but when I first found out I was pregnant, the feelings I felt were anguish and despair never did I feel any anger or hatred towards my little rugrat, but I couldnt help but think how unprepared we are. We aren't financially stable, our insurance isnt very good, and we dont have extra money. That's all I thought about. It also didnt help that I didnt believe I was actually pregnant lol those tests can be tricky!
After a few days, without even realizing it, I became protective of my little one and I no longer had those feelings of impending doom. Now I cant stop worrying about my baby and I love it so very very much. I still dont feel "connected" though, I dont think that will happen until my u/s and I see that everything is okay.
I've always felt instantly connected as soon as I knew I was pregnant. And seeing their tiny faces for the first time just makes it stronger. I don't ever want to put them down or let anyone hold them lol I do of course but I would rather them be with me where they belong.
My experience with connecting has varied widely. Some pregnancies I felt connected as soon as I saw two lines and continued feeling that way the whole way through. Other pregnancies I didn't feel connected until two days before delivery. And a couple of times I've not felt connected until well after the birth (weeks and, in the case of my twins, months ).
This time I feel numb. It's too early and I can't let myself feel anything other than numbness just yet. Hopefully once I see/hear a heartbeat and movement I will feel connected.
One-time "I'm NEVER having kids!" woman to mama of 11. Love living the beautiful life I thought I never wanted. ♥
Also missing 11 precious little ones here with us but for a moment.
VERY cautiously expecting after two losses early 2013. Hoping and praying my Valentine's Day due date baby sticks this time.