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For all the team blue mommies out there. I saw this on facebook and got a little weepy. For the record, I have just introduced my almost 12 year old to the washing machine, the dishwasher and the coffee machine.
1. Play a sport.
It will teach you how to win honorably,
lose gracefully, respect authority,
work with others, manage your time
and stay out of trouble.
And maybe even throw or catch.
2. You will set the tone
for the sexual relationship,
so don't take something away from her
that you can't give back.
3. Use careful aim when you pee.
Somebody's got to clean that up, you know.
4. Save money when you're young
because you're going to need it someday.
5. Allow me to introduce you
to the dishwasher, oven,
washing machine, iron,
vacuum, mop and broom.
Now please go use them.
6. Pray and be a spiritual leader.
7. Don't ever be a bully
and don't ever start a fight,
but if some idiot clocks you,
please defend yourself.
8. Your knowledge and education is something
that nobody can take away from you.
9. Treat women kindly.
Forever is a long time to live alone
and it's even longer to live with somebody
who hates your guts.
10. Take pride in your appearance.
11. Be strong and tender at the same time.
12. A woman can do everything that you can do.
This includes her having a successful career
and you changing diapers at 3 A.M.
Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship.
13. "Yes ma'am" and "yes sir"
still go a long way.
14. The reason that they're called "private parts"
is because they're "private".
Please do not scratch them in public.
15. Peer pressure is a scary thing.
Be a good leader and others will follow.
16. Bringing her flowers for no reason
is always a good idea.
17. It is better to be kind
than to be right.
18. A sense of humor
goes a long way
in the healing process.
19. Please choose your spouse wisely.
My daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me
spending time with you and my grandchildren.
20. Remember to call your mother
because I might be missing you.
And go ahead and wear pink and play with flowers. If anyone questions you about it you have my permission to punch them.
I know a number of dads who freak out when their young sons dress up in dresses, play with dolls, etc. This means absolutely NOTHING with young children. I was told a sad story about a dad who wanted the teacher to change her behavior chart where the top part (excellent listener, exceeded expectations, etc) that color was pink because he thought it inappropriate for a boy. She told him no.