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Forum: 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By mamatomany
  • 1 Post By ratladee
  • 1 Post By ratladee
  • 2 Post By jeangeorge2742728
  • 1 Post By RUNNER25
  • 1 Post By jeangeorge2742728

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  #1  
February 27th, 2013, 10:47 AM
jeangeorge2742728's Avatar Crazy Momma 2 seven
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: kentucky
Posts: 1,105
So I have been reclusive to say the least trying my hardest to be me again, some where over the last 3 weeks I became lost. The day Ethan was born was a happy day then it just went all down hill since, I don't really understand how I could feel this way but I am not happy I haven't been happy for awhile. With my oldest Tyran I suffered from PPD and it was so severe I was told to watch myself closely so I know what to look for but I don't like taking medicine so here I sit trying to get myself back to normal without any help. My dh doesn't understand, I don't like to talk about my problems this is not the first time I have dealt with this type of thing I have suffered all my life with depression and anxiety and I thought I had it under control. I have had a few days where I am disappointed I have even woke up in the morning I know crazy. Then sometimes I get so low that I just want to disappear. I have had so much **** to happen to me I know I am strong enough to overcome this but I just want all these feelings to end, I don't want to burden my dh or my family with my feelings. So here is me reaching out to strangers, I am having such a difficult time with everything, at time's I hate myself for feeling like this I should be happy I have 7 healthy children, but all I feel is sadness about my whole life, I am even sad I didn't get to stay pregnant longer I feel I was cheated out of my last 2 weeks. I honestly believe I may be going crazy now that I am reading over this I feel crazy. Thank you all for letting my talk.
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Tyran Gail Anthony 9-15-02
Anita Marie Grace 6-12-04
Jimmy Alexander 9-06-05
Samuel (Sammy) Wesley 5-27-07
Kaitlynn Faith 6-11-08
MaryJean Hope 9-16-11
Ethan Curtis 02-06-13
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  #2  
February 27th, 2013, 11:00 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 848
Big hugs!! I'm so sorry you're going through this, but rest assured that you are not alone and you are not going crazy. Your body is dumping massive quantities of hormones and suffering from anxiety or depression is not uncommon.

The most important thing is that you need to talk to your doctor to find out if medication is necessary. I suffered from post-partum anxiety after my fifth baby, and I was only able to deal with it appropriately after I first realized what was happening and second, started talking to my husband about it. It's very important not to keep these kinds of problems to yourself. I was able to get through mine without meds, and you might be too, but make sure you keep in communication with your husband and doctor. Depression and anxiety after delivery is not something you should try to deal with alone.

And for what it's worth, we're here for you!
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  #3  
February 27th, 2013, 11:24 AM
CptStargel's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1,599
I'm sorry to hear you're hurting. I had ppd with my first and didn't speak up until 4 months later. I forgot what happy felt like and once I got everything under control and by the time my baby was 6 months I could truly enjoy my daughter and husband. Hormones and sleep deprivation take a huge toll on us. Please talk to your doctor and voice your concerns regarding meds. They may have some techniques u can try before meds or a very low key med to start. Hugs. You can always come here or pm me to talk.
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  #4  
February 27th, 2013, 11:32 AM
jeangeorge2742728's Avatar Crazy Momma 2 seven
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: kentucky
Posts: 1,105
With my first they put me on some strong medicine and I just didn't like it, I can't take anything for longer than a few months or it stops working I have been on Zoloft, paxil, nortriptyline, and a few more. They just don't work with me, I hate to even be a bother to anyone I just need to be happy
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Tyran Gail Anthony 9-15-02
Anita Marie Grace 6-12-04
Jimmy Alexander 9-06-05
Samuel (Sammy) Wesley 5-27-07
Kaitlynn Faith 6-11-08
MaryJean Hope 9-16-11
Ethan Curtis 02-06-13
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  #5  
February 27th, 2013, 11:48 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,903
I had bad PPD with dd1 and I too refused meds because they make me feel strange and so unlike myself, not to mention that I exclusively bf and don't want my kids getting those meds in their system. However, I wish I would have spoken with someone about my feelings so I didn't feel so alone in all of it. Have you thought about going to a therapist? That way you won't feel you're burdening anyone with your feelings.
I remember feeling guilty for feeling like I wanted to just disappear as well but you know what? I realized it wasn't me saying those things, it was my PPD. Try not to be so hard on yourself, you're doing the best you can without help which takes a lot of strength. Talking about it bon here waszx the first step. Consider counseling or talking to your doctor and husband. He may not understand PPD but he definitely doesn't want you suffering the way you are right now.
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  #6  
February 27th, 2013, 12:37 PM
spicymustard's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: California
Posts: 10,684
I was wondering how you were doing with some of your FB posts. :-( I urge you to let your doctor know so they can help you out.
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  #7  
February 27th, 2013, 03:25 PM
Rebelmommy's Avatar Mommy to controlled chaos
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,139
((HUGS)) first never feel like you talking about your feelings is burdening anyone, The very fact that you are reaching out for anything is a step in the right direction. Seriously call the Dr. a MILLION times if you have to, you deserve to feel like yourself and happy, and asking them to help you do that is not something you should feel bad about!

I hope that you begin to feel more like yourself soon, but I am always around to vent to if you need to
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  #8  
February 27th, 2013, 03:49 PM
ratladee's Avatar Madison Marie, My Sweet P
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Fort Leavenworth, KS
Posts: 3,387
Have you tried natural alternatives to meds? Like st johns wart and b6? I'm sorry you feel bad. I wish your hubby would understand. Maybe if both of you talk to the dr he can understand better hearing it come from someone else.
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  #9  
February 27th, 2013, 04:19 PM
jeangeorge2742728's Avatar Crazy Momma 2 seven
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: kentucky
Posts: 1,105
I have considered the St. Johns wart I took it before I got pregnant with my first, It really helped, I just don't like the stuff they give you I always have hated medicine. I don't want to burden my husband I am sure he would support me if I would open up, I have always been the strong one, I don't like to show how weak at times I feel. I was raised not to show fear of anything. I couldn't show fear or weakness I had a really mean father. My momma always taught me and my brother not to show him weakness, either way it's biting my *** now. I cannot be me anymore I feel so lost and I hate even bothering you all with it. I can't even smile when my kids do something great. Just like today they were doing some of the sweetest things and all I could do is go off to myself and cry, then I have my kids asking me what is wrong and I don't know what to tell them.
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Tyran Gail Anthony 9-15-02
Anita Marie Grace 6-12-04
Jimmy Alexander 9-06-05
Samuel (Sammy) Wesley 5-27-07
Kaitlynn Faith 6-11-08
MaryJean Hope 9-16-11
Ethan Curtis 02-06-13
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  #10  
February 27th, 2013, 04:36 PM
ratladee's Avatar Madison Marie, My Sweet P
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Fort Leavenworth, KS
Posts: 3,387
I know I'm just a random person online, and you've probably heard this before but there is no shame in admitting you need help. It's never too late to try and get out of the mindset that asking for help is a weakness. I think family support would help you way better than any dr or medication can. If your hubby really would be off put by you admitting you're not happy and need help that would be horrible, I hope that's not the case! Your babies need you around mama and they need and want you to be happy! You are so blessed and you deserve to be happy.
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  #11  
February 27th, 2013, 05:14 PM
jeangeorge2742728's Avatar Crazy Momma 2 seven
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: kentucky
Posts: 1,105
I will talk to DH tonight about all of this, just getting some of what I have been feeling out in the open is helping a little. My Husband has seen me much worse then this he was helping back when I was 15 and tried to commit suicide so he has been with me through a lot. I know he will support me, its just hard to talk to him about all of this. I am sorry if I am making any of you worry I am not trying to, I am no where close to giving up, I have a beautiful life a life worth fighting for. So don't think I am on the brink of hurting myself I am not. I know my children need me I just need to get back to myself again. Thank you all. Ratladee your better than any counselor I have seen in my life. What you wrote above made me really think all of you ladies have really made me think thank you all for the kind words
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Tyran Gail Anthony 9-15-02
Anita Marie Grace 6-12-04
Jimmy Alexander 9-06-05
Samuel (Sammy) Wesley 5-27-07
Kaitlynn Faith 6-11-08
MaryJean Hope 9-16-11
Ethan Curtis 02-06-13
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  #12  
March 3rd, 2013, 05:30 AM
Mommytoeight2013's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Fryeburg, Maine
Posts: 935
I've been feeling unhappy too. I'm going to the doctor Wednesday and discussing it with him. I hate medications but something's gotta give. I'm usually an upbeat happy go lucky person. But, lately I'm all keyed up and angry all the time. Does St. John's wart interfere with bc? I'm on the mini pill right now til I get my essure procedure done.
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  #13  
March 3rd, 2013, 09:51 AM
jeangeorge2742728's Avatar Crazy Momma 2 seven
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: kentucky
Posts: 1,105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mommytoeight2013 View Post
I've been feeling unhappy too. I'm going to the doctor Wednesday and discussing it with him. I hate medications but something's gotta give. I'm usually an upbeat happy go lucky person. But, lately I'm all keyed up and angry all the time. Does St. John's wart interfere with bc? I'm on the mini pill right now til I get my essure procedure done.

St. John's wort: MedlinePlus Supplements
Read this it might help you if your wanting to take St. Johns Wort
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Tyran Gail Anthony 9-15-02
Anita Marie Grace 6-12-04
Jimmy Alexander 9-06-05
Samuel (Sammy) Wesley 5-27-07
Kaitlynn Faith 6-11-08
MaryJean Hope 9-16-11
Ethan Curtis 02-06-13
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  #14  
March 3rd, 2013, 01:15 PM
RUNNER25's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 5,092
Lurking from March DDC:

I could have wrote your post myself after having my second son. I very much understand your feelings of being strong and not wanting to bother anyone with your feelings. I felt the same exact way. It is not uncommon and you are not alone. And you are certainly NOT bothering any of us.

For 3 months after having my son I cried daily, I felt hopeless, unhappy and not myself. I exclusively BF so I didn't want to take any medicine. I figured if I went to my Dr., she would just prescribe me meds and I did not want that. So, I know where you are coming from. Eventually things got better, probably my body's hormones leveling out I'm guessing. And the fact that I went back to work.

I guess I have no real helpful advice, but I just feel that it was important to reply to your post to let you know your feelings are normal and you are not alone. Things will get better. Please talk to your DH about this, and your Dr if needed. I know I will be taking more action if I feel the same after having this baby.
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  #15  
March 3rd, 2013, 01:36 PM
jeangeorge2742728's Avatar Crazy Momma 2 seven
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: kentucky
Posts: 1,105
Quote:
Originally Posted by RUNNER25 View Post
Lurking from March DDC:

I could have wrote your post myself after having my second son. I very much understand your feelings of being strong and not wanting to bother anyone with your feelings. I felt the same exact way. It is not uncommon and you are not alone. And you are certainly NOT bothering any of us.

For 3 months after having my son I cried daily, I felt hopeless, unhappy and not myself. I exclusively BF so I didn't want to take any medicine. I figured if I went to my Dr., she would just prescribe me meds and I did not want that. So, I know where you are coming from. Eventually things got better, probably my body's hormones leveling out I'm guessing. And the fact that I went back to work.

I guess I have no real helpful advice, but I just feel that it was important to reply to your post to let you know your feelings are normal and you are not alone. Things will get better. Please talk to your DH about this, and your Dr if needed. I know I will be taking more action if I feel the same after having this baby.
Thank you for responding, this is one of those things you don't want to happen but some how I got stuck with it again. I can say I have had a few good days but mostly they still suck. I am finding ways to reduce my stress and I have started to talk to dh and my mom about things that is bothering me. I still feel lost but I believe I am slowly finding myself again. I have also started taking St. johns wort so hoping that will help soon.
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Tyran Gail Anthony 9-15-02
Anita Marie Grace 6-12-04
Jimmy Alexander 9-06-05
Samuel (Sammy) Wesley 5-27-07
Kaitlynn Faith 6-11-08
MaryJean Hope 9-16-11
Ethan Curtis 02-06-13
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