Log In Sign Up

Woeful Wednesday

Forum: 2013 Playroom


Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To 2013 Playroom LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
March 27th, 2013, 12:19 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,849
There are a series of thoughts running through my mind and I'm really starting to get ambivalent about this pregnancy.

The excitement of POAS has worn off and now I'm faced with the "Now what". My SO and I had a long talk last night and we're in two different universes with regards to having or not having the baby. He says ultimately he knows it's my choice (and it is) but he's just not where he wants to be to bring in another child into the world. The larger part of the issue is that we've both been burnt by past relationships before when it comes to babies. His son's mother turned into a rather vindictive woman, using the baby as a pawn. My son's father, well, there are no polite words to describe him. Much of what I have to deal with in regards to my son is largely due to his father's absence and inconsistency.

Both my SO and I are wary of history repeating itself. We talked about the differences in our relationship to those past ones but it doesn't allay the fear.

Can I raise a child alone if need be? Yes. Do I want to? No. But I don't want a forced relationship either; it's not there yet but I just don't know.

I've thought a lot about not going through with this (just being honest). Starting over scares me; my youngest will be 14 in the fall.

And then I worry that maybe something's wrong because I don't feel pregnant. The fatigue has pretty much left me (just did a 4-day trip in New York with no problem); I'm no more sensitive to smells than I've always been; there have been next to no physical changes. If not for the absence of my period and my renewed love of Snickers candy bars; I would seriously doubt that I was harboring a new life. Shoot, I still doubt that.

I guess I'll just wait until my April 5th ultrasound to make any decisions or to get attached because I feel very ambivalent and detached right now.
Shana, mom to DS1 (17), DS2 (14), DD (0) and DS3 (0)
Joining and in November 2013
Twinkies! Theeeeeeey're heeeeeere!

Introducing the Minis

Last edited by shana1979; March 27th, 2013 at 10:13 PM.
Reply With Quote
March 27th, 2013, 12:46 PM
Classy's Avatar Love my 3 girls!
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 813
That is a really hard situation to be in, but I think it says a lot that you guys are maturely and rationally discussing the reality of things. Maybe you will be able to handle any parenting matters the same way. I also think it's a good idea to wait until you have your ultrasound to make any final decisions.
Reply With Quote
March 27th, 2013, 01:41 PM
Schofield06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,364
:hugs: I'm sorry you're having a rough time.
Just some thoughts. There is always going to be that fear, and it will never seem like the right time. I hope with time you guys can figure out what's best.
Aug. 21 2012
Mar. 31 2013
Reply With Quote
March 27th, 2013, 01:58 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 3,604
Laura, homeschooling mama to Christine 1-02, Nicole 5-03, Everett 4-09, Alister 9-10, Moira and Giselle born October 24, 2013!

Reply With Quote
March 27th, 2013, 02:05 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,849
Your words are really appreciated.
Shana, mom to DS1 (17), DS2 (14), DD (0) and DS3 (0)
Joining and in November 2013
Twinkies! Theeeeeeey're heeeeeere!

Introducing the Minis

Reply With Quote
March 27th, 2013, 02:17 PM
Txmom4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,935
Very difficult situation to be in. I'm not sure that I have the "answer" for you but just realllly think about it. I had a friend who ended up pregnant while on a split with her bf (lkng story short they thought she had a mc then a few months later she was pregnant and she never had a miscarriage so at the ultrasound she learned her bf wasn't the babies dad, it was the other guy) and once she found out the baby wasn't her bfs she really considered adoption. I just had to remind her that her and her bf might not always be together and does she really want to give up her flesh and blood for a man that may leave tomorrow? Would you be able to live with that decision? If so then we do live in America and you have that choice, or the choice of adoption. So many many great people want families and can't have them and would love your baby to pieces. If you need to talk, I'm always here. You can PM me anytime.

Reply With Quote

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:53 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0