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been feeling depressed

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By mom2K&G
  • 2 Post By soccermamatomany
  • 3 Post By kjm
  • 3 Post By Jen71
  • 1 Post By mamalamb
  • 1 Post By carolinashore
  • 1 Post By mommy2skyty
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April 2nd, 2013, 12:42 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: long island, ny
Posts: 1,247
i talked about it with my counselor, i am having aniexty about finding out the gender on friday. i am scared i'll end up with gender disappointment. i really want a daughter and i just want friday to be over with already. i feel like if it's a boy , i wont be able to bond with him and all my dreams of tutus and dresses and girlie things gone forever. this is our last child b/c fincially we want to be able to give our children the best. also i have a rare disorder called ehlers danlos and each case is different per person. also i have bipolar. that's why me and my husband decided mutually he would get a vascotmy. i feel selfish having theses thoughts and i blame my bipolar, b/c i don't think i'd feel this way if i wasn't bipolar. i see this as not a bipolar feeling, b/c i see so many women go through it i read on ingender.com i feel scared our baby will be deformed or i'll have a still born b/c i feel that having a girl is so important. believe me i want my baby to be healthy. i guess the reality is if i have another boy it will feel like i let down my son b/c i feel guilty for this child having a father and my son's father wasn't there when nick was a baby. i know larry is a great father to nick and in the past 3 yrs 8 mths we've been a family, larry trys to bond with nick, but nick has issues with men b/c of his father abandoning him. nick knows that larry isn't his real father and when he discplines him, nick will be defiant. i feel guilty that i had to go to school and work and missed out on my son's milestones. i get to stay home for this baby and i have a good man who wants to be there for my son, myself and this baby. i feel ungreatful and i can't talk to any of my family about it. they wont understand. it's really a problem and my counselor tried to make me feel better by saying you wont love the baby any less but what if i cry my eyes out. i can't go 9 mths without knowing, but maybe i need to for own sanity, b/c i'm feeling really like i don't want to know after all theses months. i feel bad, mad. sometimes i feel like if its a boy, i don't even want to be pregnant anymore. i hope i'm not having a mental break down. my son needs me, this baby needs me, sometimes i feel like i can't handle this.

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April 2nd, 2013, 01:18 PM
mom2K&G's Avatar Certified Dog Trainer
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Fort Bragg, NC
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sending you a pm!
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April 2nd, 2013, 02:47 PM
soccermamatomany's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 1,167
Hang in there. I hope you get your little girl, but I know that if you end up with another little boy you will be just as thrilled after you mourn your gender disappointment. (((((((((hugs))))))
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April 2nd, 2013, 03:03 PM
kjm's Avatar
kjm kjm is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 4,198
Oh... Seeing a counselor is a great idea and will probably help a lot. I was thinking the same way as you about gender disappointment but when I actually found out it was a boy I got over it quickly. Try making a lost of the positives to having another boy and don't focus on the negatives. A lot of it is the hormones I bet, just hang in there. Maybe you can putt off the vasectomy for a little while and it wouldn't be so stressful, you can still have the plan to have no more kids but sometimes the finality of it is very stressful and it's already a stressful time.
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April 2nd, 2013, 04:30 PM
Jen71's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 586
Hang in there. I'm glad to hear your seeing someone. I've been feeling depressed/anxious too. I just want to enjoy my last pregnancy. My worries are getting in the way. The things I worry about are things I can't control right now, I'm trying hard to live in the moment and not be dragged down, but its hard! Best wishes to you in your journey.
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April 2nd, 2013, 05:17 PM
mamalamb's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 6,079

I was feeling the same way leading up to my gender scan, I completely understand! I really hope you get your girl!!!!
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April 2nd, 2013, 06:38 PM
carolinashore's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 487
Sending you a big hug.
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April 2nd, 2013, 07:58 PM
mommy2skyty's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 914
As you know I had a little bit of gender dissapointment right after I found out I was having another boy and I had a quick cry and then I have been great! Sometimes it takes longer for people, but no matter boy or girl you will have plenty of time to adjust and you love your son so I am sure you will love another boy just the same.
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April 3rd, 2013, 03:45 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,574
sending hugs as well.
My Anxiety has kicked in as well and its causing me to feel like I'm drowning. Today is our AS scan and I've been awake for hours with worry. Fingers crossed that we both get our sweet healthy babies.
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April 3rd, 2013, 07:09 AM
Husher's Avatar B & E complete me.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: NH
Posts: 10,745
I was sooo sure with our second son that it was going to be a girl. And to make it worse, when we had the ultrasound, the tech said , "Looks like a girl!" Then five seconds later there was a definite penis. I cried right then on the table because for those few seconds I really believed I was going to have a little girl.

But then I felt terrible for crying because my son looked healthy and when he was born and I held him that first time I knew he was exactly who he was supposed to be. I wouldn't change it for anything in the world now and that really helped me this time as well. While I wanted that girl still, I wasn't the least bit sad finding out we were having our 3rd boy. The babies are perfect the way they are. It just sometimes takes us a bit to realize that.

Sending you a million hugs!
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April 4th, 2013, 02:23 AM
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: GA
Posts: 1,962
I understand your anxiousness about the gender disappointment i have the same worries and I have just been trying not to think about it which is extremely hard! I know that once you find out baby is healthy no matter the sex you will be happy hang in there it will be ok
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April 4th, 2013, 10:11 AM
mrskfet's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Indiana
Posts: 722
Its alright to cry! I also had some gender disappointment when I found out Jace is a boy, even had to work not to cry during the ultrasound, but after thinking for a bit I knew I still loved him just as much as I would a girl. It may not seem like it, but it will get easier I do hope you get your girl and I'm sending you lots of hugs!
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April 4th, 2013, 12:55 PM
Hesperleigh's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,925
Ugh. I know how you feel. I really hope you get your girl, but I'm sure that if this baby is a boy that you will adjust and love him just as much. Big, BIG HUGS to you.
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