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Did I Make a Mistake? Am I horrible? Warning - this is a vent

Forum: 2013 Playroom


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  • 2 Post By CarolinaMama
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  • 1 Post By chelseamb
  • 4 Post By SpankyMagoo
  • 1 Post By The Aubrey
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  • 2 Post By AmyKC12

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April 4th, 2013, 10:30 AM
AmyKC12's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,565
So - I am going to vent a little bit here but for those that do read, please be honest in your response.

I have been over the moon about being pregnant (almost 8 weeks! Yay!). But there has been one thing bothering me and that is the fact that I am overweight - around 260 pounds. Obviously, I know this is not ideal. To be honest, I didn't think it was possible for me to get pregnant without medical intervention because I have been struggling with PCOS for so many years. My husband and I figured we would just try while we were workng on our fitness and eating healthier and when we were in a better place health wise, then we would consult a doctor. But my little nugget had other ideas!

A couple of years ago, I lost over 100 pounds but I have gained 50 or so back over the past year or so for a variety of stress related items. So, this has been an ongoing struggle. I know there are a variety of health related issues with being overweight and pregnant. But the more research I do, the more scared I get. Did I make a mistake getting pregnant? All these sites I go on talk about all these birth defects Im subjecting my child to. And I am putting him/her at risk for all these things and I might hurt myself in the process. One site even said that woman over a certain weight should never have children. And getting pregnant when you are overweight is as bad as smoking a pack a day!

Even people in my life, the few that I have told, have given my looks as asked "do you really think that is such a good idea?" I mean....really?

I get it that I am not at an ideal weight and there are things I need to watch for. I want to be excited but now I am so scared that I am harming this child. I have not gone to my intake appointment yet with hte doctor..I don't go until 12 weeks...so I dont know what she is going to say yet.

Anyway, thanks for listening. Needed to get all this off my chest.
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April 4th, 2013, 10:55 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 606
Well, I don't know if this will help you or not, since I don't know anything about your religious beliefs, but the way I see it is God obviously felt like it was the right time to bless you with a baby. Certain things are out of our control, and we just have the trust God's plan. It can be much harder to conceive at all if you are overweight, and PCOS of course makes it even more difficult. I would continue to think positively and be thankful and over the moon excited over this baby. Do everything you can to keep baby healthy and try to gain as little as possible for a a healthy baby! There's really nothing else you can do. Don't worry about what other people think-we are only to please God! Congratulations and I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy! If it helps, I know many, many overweight women who have had healthy babies and then gone on to lose the weight!
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April 4th, 2013, 11:12 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,894
First off, I cannot relate to being over weight, BUT, I do want to support you. As long as you are being closely monitored, like any other high risk pregnancy, you and your baby have every chance for a healthy delivery. Most women in your situation actually never gain weight throughout their pregnancy and/or even loose weight. Make sure to set up a great plan with your dr for extra monitoring of your blood sugars/blood pressure. The comment about smoking a pack of ciggerates a day in comparison to being over wheight is JUST CRAZY. Your body is not toxic, its just higher risk for other issues developing (Pre E, Diabetes and so on). Put it this way, Im 42, making my risks almost the same as yours. Ive had healthy baby's so far, seeing a high risk dr., doing what Im told....etc. You will be just fine!
momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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April 4th, 2013, 11:18 AM
Lauruh's Avatar Mommy to Miss. Fusspot
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Edmonton
Posts: 2,917
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Here is what I would do: Eat healthy and do light exercise like walking and some arm weights. You can lose weight safely during pregnancy as long as you're eating enough for you and baby. I suggest you find your resting metabolic rate (lots of calculators online for this) and consume that many calories (plus 300 extra as you get into 2nd and 3rd tri). I used to be 342lbs, got down to 180 and got pregnant around 190lbs and right now I'm sitting at 220 since I never bothered to lose weight after my daughter was born and I didn't eat very well. Now I am eating healthier and (with my drs permission) I am losing weight slowly which is helping to keep me out of the risky zone. My goal is to lose as much weight as I am naturally gaining so that my scale sits right around the 215-220 mark in month 9. It's a very obtainable goal. Anyways, just something to think about!
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April 4th, 2013, 11:21 AM
CutlassDiva's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,810
first of all you need a super big HUG

I too am overweight and have struggled with PCOS. With my first I gained 80lbs and never lost it all....at the point of getting pregnant this time I sit at about 217, so I know this pregnancy is going to really be about staying healthy in what I eat and drink and trying to make sure I don't gain a lot (hopefully the water retention stays away unlike last time)....

I know lots of people that have been overweight and had very healthy pregnancies and babies, so don't believe all that is out there on the internet....it may not be the most ideal situation, but it is not horrible and wrong either.

If you ever need to vent, or want to talk....feel free to reach out....I know weight and diet control are going to be a struggle for me this time around, especially when I go off of the Metformin around 15 wks.
Cora Isolde is here!!!

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April 4th, 2013, 11:28 AM
lil_fishy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,160
I'm also overweight. Right now I'm about 30lbs over what I should weigh. I'm not supposed to gain more than 15 lbs. I don't think you are harming your baby! Just talk to your Dr about it when you go in. Tell them your concerns and they will help! My Dr helped with tips and ways to stay active and knows that it is something I want to address regularly. Best thing you can do is eat as well as you can and get low impact exercise. I know bigger women that have had perfect babies!

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April 4th, 2013, 11:54 AM
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 311
I too am overweight and suffer from PCOS. First of all, congratulations. I have been overweight every single one of my pregnancies. I can say that we took extra precautions but it was never discussed that my baby was at grave danger. Try to enjoy every moment(I know easier said than done.)


10/2009 11 weeks
Chemical 5/2012
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April 4th, 2013, 12:02 PM
Txmom4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,935
I am overweight too, but I have basically always been after my 1st child, I have had 4 heathy kids, my first was healthy without being overweight and the last 3 were just as healthy! This time I am waaaay overweight. I weigh about 40lbs more than I did fully pregnant with my last son. I had a talk with my doctor about it yesterday and she just suggested I follow a diabetic diet (that that have GD patients follow) and only gain 5lbs, so I should lose weight at first and then last trimester gain only 5 lbs. it's going to be hard, but we can do this for our babies!!

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April 4th, 2013, 12:06 PM
chelseamb's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 11,391
Hun I haven't even read any other replies because I don't want to be replying to anyone but you..... I am overweight, more so then you!!!! I have the same worries but know that if I weren't meant to have this baby I either wouldn't have gotten pregnant or I would miscarry .
I was overweit it's my last son too and let me tell you, I was fine, so was he!!!
I was like you ,(0trying to gt in shape and healthier for a FUTURE pregnancy not expecting it to happen so fast! Well it did and now... I'm sitting here munching on some baby carrots! And as soon as my ankle is healed I'm going to start walking! Do what you can to maintain your health for your baby during this pregnancy
Wi my last I weighed 270. I gained like 11 lbs.... My son was 9 lbs 11 oz and I left the hospital weighing in at 264!!!!
You CAN watch what you eat without "dieting" while pregnant!!! And here's a tip... If your craving something not healthy, for instance chips, get a small snack sized bag instead! Ice cream... Get small snack bowls and only put in one scoop and savour the heck out of it!!!!!!! Lol it's gonna be tough but don't you let anyone tell you that you should do "this" or "that" and most definitely don't let anyone try to bully you into unnecessary medical things! I had no diabetes, normal beautiful vaginal delivery wi NO PROBLEMS!

Of course there may be some problems but there can with ANY pregnancy, overweight or not.... So enjoy your little bean and love it and when you start booby feeding watch the weight melt away
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Thank you to Vicki.. For my amazing Siggy

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April 4th, 2013, 12:43 PM
SpankyMagoo's Avatar Gonna make Jo a big sis
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,674
GET OFF GOOGLE!!! People who are overweight have can have happy and healthy pregnancies!! I would make sure that you have your doctor monitor you closely if your worried and try to eat healthy and keep moving but dont regret getting pregnant! There is a good chance absolutely nothing will go wrong. Just monitor yourself well. This is such a good thing! Be happy about it! AND GET OFF GOOGLE!

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April 4th, 2013, 12:46 PM
The Aubrey's Avatar cw. piffle snot
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Central NY
Posts: 4,876
I'm also quite a bit overweight, and was with my son too. My doctor then didn't even mention it. I wasn't considered high risk. Continue to focus on eating healthy and becoming healthy, and of course listen to your doctor!

Stay away from google!!! It's evil!
chelseamb likes this.
Wife to Rob, Mama to Shane (5) and expecting baby girl November 2013!

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April 4th, 2013, 12:47 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 3,604
Stop looking stuff up online! You're going to give yourself a heart attack! Many overweight moms give birth to healthy children. Pg is a great "diet" plan. You can safely loose a lot of weight while pg if you follow a diabetic diet. Spend this amazing pg preparing your body to be healthier for you and your baby! A lot of diabetic people use artificial sweeteners and I'd advise against them. Not good for a developing baby! I eat more of a whole foods diet. Sugar and white flour make me sick while pg. My body naturally avoids them. I gain between 15-20 lbs and I'm not overweight. I leave the hospital weighing less than I started. My SIL who is overweight and has gestational diabetes looses a lot of weight while pg when she follows the diet she should. I'm in the camp of taking excellent care of yourself while pg to deliver a healthy baby as once the baby is here it is much more difficult while taking care of an infant.

You can do this! You have excellent motivation for eating right now that you have a tiny person depending on you for nourishment! You don't eat for two while pg! You drink a glass of milk and an apple extra. I'd make an appt with a dietician and set up a plan to keep both of you healthy. The sooner you start the less chance of developing gestational diabetes. I'm the first woman in generations to not have GD and have huge babies while gaining 60+ lbs while pg! I broke the cycle and am teaching my girls how to do it so that they don't have to struggle with their weight. You can break the cycle too! You can do it for your little baby. I can hear the love you have for him/her already! Pg is a time for change and you can both be healthy in November!
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Laura, homeschooling mama to Christine 1-02, Nicole 5-03, Everett 4-09, Alister 9-10, Moira and Giselle born October 24, 2013!

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April 4th, 2013, 12:49 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 32,940
While I don't think being overweight is a good thing (for anyone, pregnant or not), I also think it is just ONE factor in our overall health! I probably weigh 20-30 lbs more than I should, but my bloodwork has always come back pretty much perfect! My hubby though, has higher cholesterol, higher BP, etc although he's much closer to an ideal weight! People can be skinny but have horrible health/horrible habits (drinking, smoking, etc)

Like the other ladies said, try to eat healthy and do some light exercise (walking, biking, even swimming). I gained far too much 50-60lbs with each of my boys, but with my daughter I was much better about eating and keeping active and I gained <20lbs with her.

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April 4th, 2013, 01:59 PM
seaside's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 416
I'm starting this pregnancy about 25 lbs overweight - I gained weight after having DS and full time BF...

The only thing I would suggest other than the already wonderful advice u got here is that u may want to call your dr and request the intake appt a little earlier. This way you could do blood/urine tests and see where u stand and how pregnancy hormones affect u. I know my fasting sugars shoot way up first trimester (found out at 6 week blood workup 1st pregnancy) and was referred to diabetic clinic right away which had me balanced asap w/ a perfectly healthy full term natural delivery baby.

Not saying u will have the problem (its mostly genetic - but pcos does play a role) but just to ease your mind that u hit the ground running so to speak. Also, ask to see a dietician specializing in pregnancy nutrition - even just to get u on the right path which can be very individual especially w/ how hard it is to lose weight w/pcos.

p.s. - stress IS terrible for baby so try your best to keep positive and know it will all work out!

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April 4th, 2013, 03:30 PM
AmyKC12's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,565
Thanks everyone! You really made me feel better! Everyone here is so supportive! I like all of your ideas. Right now not much but granola bars and broth are staying down. But the house is filled with fruits and veggies...I threw everything else away. Ive been hitting the gym 2-3 times per week and will definitely increase that. I also have an appointment with a dietician. I also like the idea of making an appointment with the dr. to start the bloodwork, etc.

It just gets so scary reading all this stuff on the Internet and I just freak out sometimes. I just want my nugget to be as healthy as possible.
Thank you everyone!
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April 4th, 2013, 06:23 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 505
I have had 5 healthy pregnancies starting out even a bit higher than you It is possible. I never had any issues with GD or anything either. This time I'm higher than my 'norm' so I'm going to do my best to limit my gain but I know I will gain some. Fortunately I have a Dr. who has NEVER made me feel bad for my weight and has never 'limited' my gain or told me I'm gaining too much, and Iusually gain 40-60.

Mommy to five wonderfully crazy kids
DD10, DS8, DS7, DS5 and DD 18m
Expecting Baby #6 EDD 12/3/13
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April 5th, 2013, 10:18 AM
Angelgirl30's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 791
My first pregnancy I gained over 100 lbs and never lost it! I weight about 230 now and I'm not worried one bit! I just eat healthy and exercise as much as I can being that I'm still supposed to take it easy but my doctor never seemed worried about my weight what so ever. All that she said was that I'm only allowed to gain between 15 and 20 lbs. So I'm pretty sure that everything is fine! I also have a friend who is about 350lbs and she had a beautiful healthy baby girl!
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April 6th, 2013, 07:51 AM
Carwen*Angel's Avatar Fly away on my zephyr
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 66,539
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There is never a "right time" to have a baby...I'm sure most people have one timing issue or another.


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